Just need some guidance

I could write a book on how I’m feeling. I started suffering with anxiety, depression, IBS, and OCD all at the same time. It was mid-2011; I was 19 when I started a new job (which I hated) and college. I had on and off diarrhea for a month or so when I had my first panic attack. At first I thought I was making myself sick because I hated work so much. The panic attacks kept coming and the diarrhea didn't stop.
Long story short I spent days in the doctor offices, went to the ER three times, switched locations with my job four times, and I finally broke. I’m now unemployed, depressed, and lost. I’m on Amitriptyline & Propranolol. I hate being on medication and I’m still lost.
I want to get off the meds and try to start over. I’m scared to work because I have so many bad days. I feel like I’m stuck in the house at this point and it’s making me more depressed. It’s causing arguments with my boyfriend and I don’t know what to do. I've seen a GI and he wasn't nice at all along with 4 different doctors and a therapist. They just tell me it’s my anxiety causing it and there’s no way to fix it but I refuse to believe that and I’m looking for a solution. I need help and as most of you know - people who don’t suffer from this have no idea what it feels like. I’m 23 years old and about to graduate with two associate degrees. These should be the best years of my life and I feel like I’m wasting them bowing down to this illness.

Larry,

Thank you a lot. I've tried a few forums and never got a lot of help. It just helps having people who know what your going through to talk to, give advice, and swap stories. I just joined and I'm already feeling better knowing there are people who understand and who are available when needed.

Thank you again
Bri

sending healing thoughts your way sumgirl.

fireworks,

I'm from North Carolina

Scaredy,

Thank you. I've tried a therapist and it was nice to have someone to talk to but it didn't fix anything. It helped me open up and get through a traumatic event I went through which she said was the cause of my anxiety. But I'm over that now and still have the anxiety and stress. My thing is I've always been a very worried person but the anxiety and IBS came out of nowhere and won't go away.

Thank you for your advice.
Bri

You will get better eventually. I have had anxiety on and off all of my life - with sometimes years being anxiety free. But guess what - it's back again after a long respite and it hits just as hard. I think it's because I'm going thrugh a big transition in my life - after 40 years of working, I'm retired, living on a fixed income and not know WHAT I want or can do for the rest of my life. But in the meantime, this anxiety has taken away my motivation to do much of anything and it's making me feel exhausted and edgy all day long. I somehow know that eventually I will get through it like I have in the past but it's such a fight and I'm alot older now with less energy for the battle.

Hi Sumgirl!! Try not to look at the big huge scary picture and take it one step at a time! Instead of thinking 'I want off meds and I want to start over' just set small goals each day and build from there. Baby steps. Therapy and reaching out and connecting with people who understand is so helpful in the long run. I find that when I'm feeling lost and overwhelmed what helps is coming onto this forum and GIVING support. It pulls me out of my own head and helps me to focus on something other than my negative thoughts. Stay strong and stay positive!!

Hi Sumgirl!

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. This is a great place with lots of support! Keep posting...we'll all get through this together! Congtrats on the double degrees. That is a big deal and shows how strong and determined you are to complete that while dealing with all of these other problems. Be proud of yourself!

Gigi

Sumgirl,

Parts of my story are like yours, so I am glad you shared, thank you for that! As I have been struggling with anxiety, I realized that I have to face my fears in it all. I was afraid to go for a walk (fear that I would die), I was afraid to walk up the stairs (fear that I would die), I was afraid of so many things.

Someone's advice that I read online was that I needed to face my fears in order to beat the anxiety. Maybe my advice is to pass that idea on to you. It seems to work a bit. Start slow though, I wouldn't say go for a full-time job---maybe just a super part time job and see if you can make it through that. Baby steps. Baby steps. :) A little at a time.

Sumgirl, I'm 43 but was your age when I had a panic attack set me off and wouldn't go away. Then I got depressed & thought I was crazy. Lovely...Not. I was in college and thought OMG I'm nuts. I was ashamed to call my family but finally did. My sister says "you're depressed, here's Prozac, take it (she's a family physician btw). I did and voila I got better. Went off of it 6 months? later.

Before you feel like a loser for having this at age 23, stop. College age is actually when MANY people get their first taste of anxiety/depression. It's just that no one talks about it. I certainly didn't back then. Only my bf and roommate knew (other than family). Years later I found out several of my friends experienced the same struggles!!

I wish someone had said this was a normal time to struggle. I felt so alone. So let me tell you- you aren't alone, a loser, crazy or any if that. You're normal. And- you're not doomed to a life of struggle. I wish I could go back to your age and only bc I didn't seek therapy. I was dirt broke and uninsured. I wished I'd learned better coping skills at your age.

You are going to be just fine. I understand the job fear. I've got it too. I actually moved home with my parents at age 25. I babysat for a year to earn money before getting a "9-5" job. I'm a homemaker now and don't "have" to work but I need to bc I'm bored and lonely and that equals trouble for my creative mind lol.

Re: your IBS- have you been tested for celiac (breath test) or H Pylori? Tried cutting gluten out? I know that's prob what you've heard a million times but if you haven't, it's worth considering it could be an intolerance to something- even dairy etc. I know it definitely "flares" when you're anxious. Like Larry said, which came first..

Hang in there girl. This will get resolved!

Lisa

AND - I believe the IBS came first but I don't really know for sure

trader,

Thanks for the laugh. At 23 I feel like I should be enjoying life and instead I'm fearing it.
The main reason I'm not working right now is because of all the pressure. This is my hardest semester in school so far and well that's enough stress in itself. My family understands what stress does to me so they're very supportive because I'm trying to better myself with school and not just taking an unemployed holiday.
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I have to remind myself more often.

Thank you again :)

Lisa,

Thank you. When I hear stories like your brother's it makes me feel thankful because it could be a lot worse.
I will update & this is the best forum :)