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Writing a letter for self therapy

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Posted 9/13/2014 1:09 PM (GMT 0)
I had a text tonight from one of my brothers regarding my eldest brother....my eldest brother 10 yrs older than me and the oldest was a controlling mean bullying brother who lorded his size and power over the rest of us all our childhood, we walked on eggshells all the time so he didn't go into to a rage and scare the @#$^ out of us...but as you know with these people at some point you get their wrath even when you have not done anything...ANYWAY (their is more recent problems he is causing but I wont go into it) after the text tonight I felt myself getting anxious and uptight just thinking about him and I realised wow he still is pulling the emotional strings even from a distance...I thought that's it I've had enough and started writing a letter to him that I will never send but I want the poison out of my system....I poured out all my feeling & thoughts about him and let me tell you there was nothing nice to say....I have no respect for him and I am taking my power back, I'm not 6 anymore I'm 42 and I'm a thousand times the person he will ever be and I know it...while writing the letter OMG I was getting dizzy, could feel my chest burning and thought I'm about to have a panic attack  but because I'm taking beta blockers my heart couldn't get racing so the panic was curtailed (phew) but the anxiety was there and scared me. I had to stop and calm myself a few times just to finish the letter. I immediately upon finishing the letter ripped it into a thousand pieces and threw it out. I wont say I feel miraculously better for getting it out but I hope its a little bit more out of my system. I would never send it or let him know what I think because I will still have to deal with him re a parent....but my aim is to be able to deal with him but be indifferent to the emotions. I may be rambling but just wanted to come here and share and get my thoughts out. Thankyou.
Posted 9/13/2014 1:17 PM (GMT 0)
Actually in some therapy they do have you write a letter to the one that hurt you the most, you don't send the letter, but it is supposed to help get it off of your chest so to speak.

My daughter has had issues with her father be absent from her life, and when she was in treatment they basically tried to force her to write this letter to her father, she refused to, and believe me the resentment and anger towards him is still there.

Maybe it is kind of like closure, you got it off your chest, whether or not you ever let that person know your feelings, your admitting how you feel and it can help you move on.

It's very hard when it is a family member, because some things are just better left unsaid, not that they didn't happen, but because the person that hurt us the most may not care or even recognize what they did to us, but I would say it is part of moving on, even if we rip it up.
Posted 9/14/2014 2:06 AM (GMT 0)
2f.,

I commend you for taking such a wise and brave step...way to go!!!

Instead of focusing on the negative thoughts and feelings that the text with your other brother brought up...

...you turned it into something pro-active and cathartice for yourself.

You should be proud...I certainly am of you.:)

Keep up the good work!

S.C.
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