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Scared of Dying

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 9/21/2014 10:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,
I post on here a lot. I feel like I don't have any one to really talk to about how I'm feeling. I have really bad health anxiety. I'm scared all the time that something is wrong with me and I'm terrified I'm going to die. I'm stupid and looked up signs your dying now I'm convinced im dying. My heart is either beating really fast or I feel like I can't find my heartbeat at all. My body feels heavy. I feel like my mind is going blank. I feel myself getting dizzy and struggling to catch a breath and I'm going to choke and my vision is kind of blurry. The last couple of days I have wanted to be around people or eat. The only person I want to be around is my mom but she gets tired of hearing about all this stuff. I haven't been sleeping because I'm scared once I go to sleep I'm never going to wake up again. I hate being alone. I feel like this feeling haunts me. I'm so scared. It's on my mind 24/7. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just want to give
Up. Please someone give me advice.
Posted 9/21/2014 10:48 PM (GMT 0)
P

I am so sorry you are going through this. Take some time and read through the older posts here on this forum. Nearly each post is in some way similar to yours.

How old are you? A lot of people experience their first symptoms of anxiety at an early age. Have you seen a doctor yet? If not, do yourself a favor and go get checked. After you get cleared, rest easy!

Just breathe! You are going to be fine. Check out the resource section on here (1st page, 1st post) if you havent already.

Keep us posted please.... Everyone of us have had your fear of dying and we're all still here! May you find peace and contentment!

Post Edited (Cornell) : 9/21/2014 6:00:33 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/22/2014 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
P,

I can relate. I have been where you are and it's no fun. I am currently experiencing a pretty bad bout of health anxiety at the moment. As Cornell mentioned the self help references have been an incredible help in my own anxiety ridden journey. I can also relate to wanting to give up, please don't. You can overcome this and please take comfort in the fact that you aren't going to die. I have a fear of being alone as well! When you are unemployed that can be especially difficult to deal with, however, if you are of age and have transportation maybe you can go to a public park and have a nice walk:). If you have concerns about your health please see your GP, more than likely you will get a clean bill of health and you can see these symptoms for what they are. A physiological manifestation of anxiety. I hope you find peace and comfort soon!
Posted 9/22/2014 12:31 AM (GMT 0)
I'm 18. I'm going to the doctor Wednesday. That's the only time I can get in this week. I'm also in college and have a lot of stress and plus the anxiety its been pushing me over the edge. Like right now its hard for me to get air into my lungs and my chests aches. I know I'm being dramatic but I just had feeling like this.
Posted 9/22/2014 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
Paige i want to let you know up front that most people who suffer from HA
suffer from the Fear of Death, this is the bottom line, when every pain or
tickle give you the o crap feeling there is nothing else to look for. I am assuming you have jumped through all the hoops with the doctors and still feel like they missed something. If this is the case please give yourself a break, you can re-hearse your death a million times and you will never get it right. Ok?
Now, Merrida has been here with Mindfulness several times and i believe
its on our Resources, so quit wasting your time it is ordained for Mankind to die but once, and practice does not make it perfect. You need a way to
shut down the Panic. and mindfulness is a perfect way. Peace
Larry ***
Posted 9/22/2014 12:38 AM (GMT 0)
Calibren,
If you don't mind me asking what are your symptoms with your health anxiety?
Posted 9/22/2014 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
may you find peace
I had this same fear when I was very young as well....
50 years later I am still here.
I expect many more years for you as well...
Posted 9/22/2014 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
P,

I can honestly say Ive had them all. Numb extremeties, numb lips, cold hands and feet, heart palpitations chest pain, pvc's, weakness, vertigo, throbbing in my neck, chest tightness, breathing issues ranging from shallow breathing to full on hyperventillating. Ive been to the ER five times in the past 6 months and ive had just about every test known to man run on me. Most days I can use logic and reason to shake the crazy fillintheblank symptom I might experience at any given moment. I have times were there is an immense sense of dread for no reason and other times where my fingers, toes, eyes or legs etc twitch like im having a seizure. Most of the time I cAn fight the panic off, other times I fail miserably! This runs in my family, particularly the men, and they have all experienced it between 32-35. So I have a strong family support system that undertands my struggle and that is SO crucial! I hope you find that support here! Please let me know if I can help.

Post Edited (Calibren) : 9/21/2014 6:57:13 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/22/2014 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
I have the breathing issue. It is very scary and I hate it. The dizziness, choking sensation and blurry vision are probably signs that you are hyperventilating. Most of us with breathing issues tend to focus on the breath and then over breathe, which leads to hyperventilating. Vicious cycle!!!!

You have got to get sleep. These symptoms will be magnified 10x if you do not start sleeping. Your breathing will actually go back to normal when you sleep. I imagine to have to be exhausted, as worrying takes so much out of us. Also, you have to believe what your doctor tells you on Wednesday. It will be hard if they tell you nothing is wrong. We have all been there, believe me. It's hard to feel so sick, only to be told you have anxiety. Therapy is always an option, so you could ask your doctor for a referral to see a psychologist.

You will be okay:) and we are all here to support you. Until then, make sure you are belly breathing. A lot of times we are breathing too shallowly and filling up only our chest with air. This exhausts our muscles in our chest, hence the soreness you feel. They have tons of great breathing guides in the resource tab here on the forum.
Posted 9/22/2014 1:28 AM (GMT 0)
Paaaigenicoole,

I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I too am 18/in college and I had my first panic attack in early August before I moved in. For the rest of August and early this month my entire body felt different and I assumed that something was wrong with me. I thought for sure that I had a terminal illness and that something was wrong with my heart due to all of the palps. After my second panic attack in August I went to the hospital and they said it was just panic attacks/anxiety but I had trouble believing them. As time passed I began to accept that it was just anxiety and that nothing was wrong with me. Its been almost two months and 95% of the physical symptoms of anxiety went away (I had a lot of palps, pins and needles in my hands, insomnia, shaking, head rushes, dizziness, feeling of impending doom and many more ). I know they aren't gone for good but next time they come I'll know it's just anxiety. I also still have those thoughts here and there about my health but when they happen I just talk myself out of it, think rationally, or distract myself. Just remember you're not dying, you're 18 years old, you're not alone, and as time passes things will get better!

Post Edited (Soccer1) : 9/21/2014 7:59:14 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/22/2014 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
I can totally relate to how you feel P. After going through breast cancer 5 years ago, I'm always worried about my health. I've been to the ER 4 times this year thinking I'm having a heart attack and each time was negative. After my last ER visit I went to see a cardiologist and he put me on two blood pressure meds and found my heart was mildly enlarged, but functioning normally after having an echocardiogram. Tonight I had a sharp pain in my left shoulder/chest area that came and went quickly but I panicked and ended up with a hot flash at the same time. My family wanted me to go to the ER, but I called my cardiologist. After talking to him and him saying that the pain I had didn't sound cardiac to him, I started to relax. It's been a tough year for my family and I'm watching my parent's health decline and I'm afraid of losing them. I also worry about my own health constantly.

You are not alone!
Posted 9/22/2014 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you to everyone who has replied. Thank you for taking time to reply back. You have no idea how much this means to me. Calibren, I wouldn't mind to keep talking to you. It seems like you have a lot of the same symptoms and issues I have.
Terrij672 I'm sorry to hear about your breast cancer. I hope all is well now. Thank you for telling me your story that helps me a lot. If you were able to survive such a fight I should be able to survive this.
Momtogigiandquinn
I like the don't let your struggle become your identity. That's great advice. you're right about the sleeping. I'm going to try my best to sleep tonight. Should I take a sleeping pill?
wearyRAsufferrer thank you very much that means a lot knowing how long you have been going through this.
Larry, I'll be sure to check out the resources thank you!
Soccer1, I would love to keep talking to you since you're my age. Thank you so much. I'm glad I found someone who is my age that is going through what I am.
And to anyone, right now I am starting to feel a little better but right where my veins are by my wrist they ache and its hard for my eyes to focus. It's things like that freak me out. Geez I hate this.
Posted 9/22/2014 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
I'd love to keep talking to you too. Anxiety can cause all types of symptoms. It sucks haha. I've haven't had those symptons before but everyone's body reacts differently to anxiety.
Posted 9/22/2014 2:50 AM (GMT 0)
Glad your starting I feel a little better:) I have never taken a sleeping pill, so I would feel funny recommending you to take one. Does benedryl make you drowsy? That is what my doctor told me to take when I was having issues sleeping.
Posted 9/22/2014 3:12 PM (GMT 0)
 

Here are some great books that I can recommend.  The first one even has a chapter specifically dealing with the fear of dying.

I hope that you find these helpful should you choose to check them out...and that you are feeling better soon.  Let us know how your appointment goes, okay?

S.C.

Books for overcoming Health Anxiety:

http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Health-Anxiety-David-Veale/dp/1845298241

http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Health-Anxiety-Cognitive-Behavioral-Approach/dp/1572309989

 

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