New member questions about GAD

My name is Gracie and I am new to this forum. I have been diagnosed by a primary doctor with General Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I am 26 and remember feeling anxious as a kindergartner very vividly. When I turned 13, I began to feel depressed as well. I'm on SSRI's, but they don't do much. I am a cosmetology student currently and it's taking a toll on my education and relationships. I have a constant pit of fear and guilt in my stomach and I have to run for a bathroom stall and sit Indian style and I cry. And it is not just a few tears, it is crying as if someone has died, for instance. It is interrupting my sleep and eating. I feel tightness in my chest and my body is fatigued. I have a history of self harm, but I only have two or three episodes a year. I am not at all suicidal, just wish I was never born, if that makes sense. My relationships are crumbling. People comment and ask why I'm so shakey and I won't even notice, because my mind is so clouded with these thoughts that just cycle. I have no insurance (good old USA...) And no money, considering I'm a college student who can barely handle going to school, so a job on top of that is out of the question. My only option is to visit the ER, but I am terrified of hospitals or what could happen. What should I expect? Please help. I forget what proper happiness and hope feels like. I have this amazing opportunity at paul mitchell the school MI and here I am in bed worrying and fatigued because I didn't sleep at all... What is the process they put you through in the ER? Help :(




Gracie, I edited your post to give it a subject headline so more people will get to view it! :)

Post Edited By Moderator (Merrida) : 9/27/2014 11:52:14 AM (GMT-6)

Dear Gracie,
I've had generalized anxiety disorder for over 20 years now. The fact that you are in school and managing to get through each day is amazing to me!
But really, you need to see a specialist that deals with mental health issues. I did not know that I could go anywhere like that either, b/c I had no money to pay. However, I was told about the mental health services clinic in our town and it charged on a sliding scale. A visit was $10.00 for me. Now I am on medicaid, so I pay nothing.
If you look in the phone-book (wow! They still have those around!), look under mental health in the yellow pages.
Do NOT be afraid! You likely need to be on a different SSRI or need the dosage increased. They can also likely help you see a therapist if you wish to do talk therapy.
And I recommend a book called "Hope and Help For Your Nerves" by Claire Weekes.
There are breathing exercises and other resources told about here on the HW forum that can help you.
Please keep in touch with us! There is light at the end of the tunnel!!! :)

I'll chime in with my opinion that that book by Claire Weeks is very good! Strong backing.

I'm 51 and I've had GAD since I was a child. This isn't meant to discourage you but rather I hope to give you some faith that it can be managed because where I am currently,...my life is far more managed than it was when I first started on this journey!

Welcome to our Forum! :)





M.

And I'm totally going to get that book! Also, the breathing exercises sound great I will definitely be trying them. I'm so worried I'm going to mess up my education and dreams of being a stylist.

Want to super-emphasize the breathing exercises, as well as all the other useful tips in our RESOURCES page (look at the top of the first page). Mucho, mucho info, and lots of cool, nifty stuff there!

Gigi is correct in a big way about not getting ahead of yourself. Mindfulness. Stay in the moment. Take one day at a time. Education is so precious, it's priceless, so I encourage you to give it your all and soak it all up and take it all in. It will be with you forever and ever. Anxiety will not be! :)





M.