Please help me chill out or get the right help

Hi there. This is my first post. I hope I can avoid making it a novel. :) I have read many posts and was reassured by many. I'm hoping for some reassurance or if you can point me in the right direction.

I am a 37yr old mother of a 3yr old son. I am happily married without financial, work, or marital problems.

This year I have gotten lots of colds and just felt run down. In May, after a rare complication from a routine surgery, I had to put down my beloved 13yr old Labrador that I've had since she was born. It wasn't from old age. She was still very active and I was not ready to let her go. It was the worst day of my life. I still cry about her loss daily. After she died, I became very anxious about lots of things. I couldn't go for walks in the neighborhood without her. I was worried about everyone's health. Not to the point of interfering with my daily life, but just an unsettling feeling. I started to exercise to avoid thinking about her. Oh, and my mom was in the hospital for pancreatic cancer three weeks after, but it turned out to be a false alarm, but during that time, I was convinced she was going to die.


Anyway, in June I noticed some weird numbness in my left foot and thought it was from my shoe being too tight when I exercised. I didn't think much of it. I was in New England for all of July and don't remember having that sensation there, but perhaps I did and blew it off. Upon return, two days later I had tingling in both legs, though more on the left. It was a tingling like it was coming awake after being asleep. Called my doc and she said to watch out for swelling or redness, but it was fine. The tingling came and went, but was always there to a degree. Blood work revealed low hormones including thyroid (I was already on it, but needed an increase in dose).

Four days after I increased the dose, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling numb and tingly all over including my lips. I believe this was unrelated to the thyroid increase. Anyway, I called the nurse hotline and was advised to go to the ER. While there I was fine, but then while watching TV waiting, my heart rate went up to almost 200, I lost feeling in my hands, my heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest, and I literally thought I was dying. They did like 4 EKG's and all were fine. The heart attack enzyme was negative as well. They did two.

Since then, it's been a freaking rollercoaster of weird symptoms. I KNOW I have been more anxious since then. That I know. I know I need to work on the anxiety and I'm sure it impacts me physically, but I can't shake the feeling that something is very wrong.

Since that time my doc and I have tested me for Lyme (her suggestion, not mine...never even thought of it) based on recent travel to New England. The results were mixed. Negative ELISA, but very low CD57 which is supposedly only low in Lyme and HIV. Of course then I was worried about HIV despite no risk factors. She put me on antibiotics for the Lyme, but I got a rash so we stopped. Somewhere in there, my tingling went away, but I can't tell you when. I get it here and there, but only momentary and fleeting. Anyway, I also tested negative for HIV not surprisingly. I had palps here and there, but I've had those for years and am used to them with my thyroid and adrenal issues.

Earlier this week, my shoulder started hurting and then my upper right chest above my right breast and under my collarbone. Almost like gas pain, but not severe. Worrisome because of its location, but not super painful. It continued so I ended up in urgent care two days later in the morning. They said I was fine, it wasn't my heart, and it was "chest wall pain". On the way home, my right calf got a cramp. It was like a mini Charlie Horse and did not go away...I mean like it was there all day. It stayed there all night. When it was still there in the morning, I called my doc and she told me to go the ER in case it was a blood clot in my leg that was throwing clots to my shoulder/lung area. That was yesterday. They did ultrasounds on my legs, chest and abdominal xrays, and additional EKG. Oh, and blood work. Sent me home saying it was my thyroid. Everyone just tells me things are thyroid because I have an autoimmune issue. I have had thyroid issues as well as adrenal issues for nearly a decade. I've never had these symptoms before.

The cramp finally went away sometime yesterday, but the chest issue remained. Just the upper right with occasional stabs in the center. Today it has progressed to the whole chest. It feels like pressure all over my chest like someone is sitting on my chest. The right side pain is still there, but to a lesser degree. The chest pain feels like how you feel when you have a really bad cold and cough and you're always on the verge of a coughing fit...except I don't have a cough. I do have a sinus infection and think I am coming down with my son's cold, but I'm not actually coughing.

So here I am sitting on my couch worried that I have some cardiac or lung problem (i.e. embolism or lung cancer...though I'm not truly worried about those). Do I have Lyme? Is this all endocrine related? Do I have some cardiac/lung issue despite normal EKG's, chest xray, and blood work all done recently? Can this all be from anxiety? A combination? I mean I know I have anxiety and I know I have thyroid imbalances at the moment. The Lyme seems to be negative, but who knows.

I am not overweight, don't have diabetes, have normal cholesterol, normal blood pressure, occasional high pulse, no history of heart disease in family, etc, etc. I don't drink or smoke.

Google sucks since it tells me about rare cases where people have normal EKG's and drop dead the next day. Or people with normal xrays dying of lung cancer.

Truly I am normally a very rational person and allows follow logic, but this whole last month has felt surreal. I feel like this can't be happening to me. It's one odd symptom after another and part of me wants to ignore them, anything in the chest area or neurological (tingling/numbness) is too scary to ignore...but how many times can I go back to the ER or doc? I wish it was the same symptom every time, but it's always something new.

I apologize for this being so long, but I wanted to give the background. How do you know when you have a real health issue to address and when to try to let it go?

Thanks.

Post Edited (Elliottsmama) : 9/27/2014 8:04:56 PM (GMT-6)

Hi EM, welcome! My really bad anxiety/panic attacks started when I was 37, I'm 39 now. I have experienced chest pain and racing heart when I wasn't having a "panic attack". I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I have 3 dogs myself and they mean the world to me. Along w my son and husband, of course! :) You didn't mention if you are on birth control. My problems really exacerbated with the copper iud.

Mam it seems like once we are aware of the possibility of death from some kind of health related problem we are on a anxiety trip for a while, some longer than others. What you are experiencing is pretty common for us, telling you to not worry is to deny our own inability to throw these things off, mindfulness will work and it is available here in the resources. One thing seems to be common with us, if we keep our mind occupied we have less problems, I Pray for your Peace.

Larry ***

Hi EM and welcome!

It can be so confusing and scary to try and distinguish between what is at the core a physical issue...and what is anxiety.

I do think that you should go ahead and treat this in a two pronged fashion.

Pursue getting started in treatment for anxiety. Medication and therapy are ususally a good combination to talk to your doctor about.

In this way, you are working on eliminating the symptoms that are brought on by anxiety. (...and yes! Symptoms are definitely possible w/o an actual panic episode) ...so that you can more easily identify which sensations must be from an organic cause.

Then of course you can follow up with your doctor or a specialist to seek any necessary tests/treament.

If you would like to get started with some great self-help ideas today, while waiting to talk to your doctor...please visit our Resources to for suggestions.

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

Post with us anytime! We understand and care.:)

Scaredy Cat

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the time you took to read my (too long) post and to respond. It's good to know that anxiety can cause physical symptoms other than when feeling anxious or during an attack. I suppose that makes sense since the effects of adrenaline could easily impact your system longer than a few minutes. I know constantly living in fight or flight can even change your chemistry a little especially if you are hyperventilating without realizing it. I know I do that and was especially noticeable in the ER and was hooked up so you could see my respirations and they were very inconsistent and often much faster than they should be, so it beeped at me. I would often hold my breath and didn't realize it.

I have always been a somewhat anxious person in terms of my personality, but I've actually improved since having a kid. It wasn't until my dog died that I suddenly became acutely aware that bad things could really happen to me. Sounds silly I know since I'm almost 40, but I've led a pretty sheltered life with little horrible things. It's just that I always assumed she would be there. In reality I knew she wouldn't, but it never fully crossed my mind. I mean, why wouldn't she always be here? She was born the day after my husband and I moved in together, was with us for our first apartment, first house, our engagement, was our flower girl in our wedding (we drove her from NM to MA so she could be in it...and many Christmases), was there when we got our positive on the pregnancy test, when my son was born (at home), his birthdays, etc. She made us a family and now she's gone. A piece of me is gone. The horrible reality that I could lose someone I love so much really shook the stability of my world.

I am not on birth control to answer someone above, but I think weaning off 7yrs of steroids in March followed by her diagnosis, surgery, and subsequent death followed by many illnesses, my mother's hospitalization, and lack of sleep, all lowered my reserves. Since I didn't have enough cortisol, I was running on adrenaline instead. Many times after her death I would notice that I'd be just sitting there doing nothing and all of a sudden I would get a wave that would rush over me very fast and would be gone. It was like my heart would drop into my stomach like I was scared or going down a roller coaster. Then it would be over. It had nothing to do with what I was thinking about. I would ask myself, "Why do I feel so panicked all of a sudden? What did I forget? Is Elliott hurt? Did I leave the stove on?" I now believe those were those fight-or-flight reactions from an adrenaline rush. It never lasted long and I would be able to tell myself all was good and I didn't actually forget anything. It was weird. A very odd sensation. Anyway, I am back on cortisol to see if that helps and so far it does seem to be helping, but I'll need more time to know for sure. It's a very low dose to compensate for what I don't naturally produce. At the moment, all my adrenal hormones are low (cortisol, aldosterone, DHEA, etc) so I think I was running on adrenaline.

I really like my current doc for the first time in my life. She gave me Xanax as a test to see if it helped me, though I don't want to be on medication. I took one pill and just felt drunk. I was tripping and falling over and really silly. It just made me unable to really focus on anything. Even a half pill was too much. It was just a test anyway. I mean if I ever have a panic attack and can't calm myself, I'll take it if it's safe (i.e. don't need to drive that day), but I don't think I'll need to actually. I am functioning. She had me order a bunch of herbs that should help with anxiety, but I think I mostly need time, good food, decent sleep, to read up on these forums more, and try to remind myself that I seem to be healthy. I also need to let myself grieve more.

Thanks again. I look forward to learning more. I hope my physical symptoms can subside once I'm no longer running on adrenaline.

Post Edited (Elliottsmama) : 9/28/2014 5:05:07 PM (GMT-6)

We're you saying you recently stopped steroids in May after 7 yrs or your dog did? Sorry for the confusion.

If it was you, I'm wondering if your mystery pain and tingling/numbness & high heart rate at times, is from your body still adjusting to making its own steroids since it didn't have to for 7 yrs? That plus thyroid imbalance can mimic those upsetting symptoms you're having. I'm not a medical professional, just have a PhD in health anxiety

As for your precious dog, I had tears reading your story of how much she was part of your life. We have 2, both aged 9, & I cannot even go there thinking abt when they won't be here. That was a devastating loss for you and you are grieving. The grief process is no different than if she was human. Losing a pet may not been seen universally as the same grief as a human loss, but we pet lovers understand and know it hurts just as similar.

I'm like you and have been sheltered from a lot of horrible things in life. Im 43. I did lose my daddy suddenly 6 yrs ago & that naturally knocked me to my knees but, amazingly, I got through that by the grace of God. Surviving that kind of loss almost gives you a sort of strange confidence eventually. Eventually being the key word.

I think you're wise getting things checked out. My motto is better safe than sorry and if you've got the money/health insurance, go for it.

Finally, have you ever seen or considered seeing a therapist? I see one and he's great. I look forward to our sessions. Something you may consider?

You're going to be ok and we are here to support, encourage and to listen to you!

Sending Love-
Lisa

Hello! I'm new here too and have been going through this for a bit over a month. Your story sounds similar to mine in the physical aspects. For me over the past year or so there were so many weird physical things going on that made me worry. I started to wonder if I had become a hypochondriac but I KNEW that these things were really happening and weren't in my mind. Some of the things I went to the doctor for and some I did not. I have actually experienced tingling in my face, hands, and legs for a few years now. I went to the ER for it and they found nothing. The nurse suggested maybe it was the artificial sweetener that I was taking in from diet soda. I still honestly don't know what caused it.

I started this journey by waking in the middle of the night with my heart racing like nothing I've ever felt. I'm 35 years old and I was convinced I was dying of heart attack. I ended up going to the ER on three different times getting test after test and all was fine. I had heart monitors and nothing ever showed up. It became clear to me that whether there was an actual physical problem or not that it had morphed into definite anxiety.

Now I'm pretty convinced that the majority of my physical problems have something to do with my stress levels. I guess I thought I was dealing with things but truly wasn't, so this is maybe my body and mind's way of dealing?

I can't stress enough to stop googling. I did the same and sometimes I still fall prey to it and it's never good. That was a huge problem for me in making my anxiety about my issues worse. There's always plenty of horror stories and you don't need those.

I would say if all medical tests are showing things to be okay that you might want to assume there is anxiety going on. In hindsight I can't believe I didn't see it in myself sooner. I just truly thought I was dying.

I would suggest trying to find a therapist who specializes in this type of thing and getting to them ASAP. It's really important to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with and that knows what they are doing. Medication may or may not be something that you need, but you can discuss that with the therapist. You can always start with your own primary care physician as well. I am just a little leary of that because I think they can unintentionally steer people in the wrong direction sometimes.

Good luck and don't feel alone.

Wow! Thanks for the additional responses. :)

Yes, it was me who was on steroids for 7yrs and weaned off literally weeks before my dog's diagnosis and then it was all downhill from there.

I still have chest pain today, but I *think* I am noticing that I don't feel it too much until I stop what I'm doing and thing, "Hey, my chest hasn't been hurting as much," and then BAM. That would lead me to believe it's anxiety, at least in part. If I keep busy, I notice it much less. If it doesn't hurt more when I'm up and about, it's probably not a cardiac or lung issue because don't those get worse with exertion usually?

My doc called me today and said that maybe we should do some ultrasounds of my ovaries and adrenal glands just to make sure there isn't something going on since she said a benign tumor could cause these symptoms. I really don't think that's it. I think it's anxiety and hormone issues from the weaning off steroids coincidentally just before the most stressful time in my life. Of course her saying that made me google and then worry maybe she thought I had a tumor. Sigh. Actually, I really don't think I have adrenal cancer or something because it's extraordinarily rare....like one in a million or something. The only ovarian cancer symptom I have is feeling full easy and lack of appetite, but I'm a freaking googling stress ball so I haven't been eating regularly and when I do, I scarf so then I'm full fast. I really only noticed it the other day when I went out to eat and couldn't eat a normal meal. The only risk factor I have is that my mom had breast cancer, which ironically enough, I am not worried about. Go figure.

I really don't think it's an abdominal thing, but know I have to get the ultrasounds or I'll always what if. Oh and I swear the minute she said that, my stomach started hurting out of nowhere. Shut my brain off please.

I've been off work for a year home with my son, but start again on Wednesday. It's either gonna kill me or provide a great distraction. My plan is to eat great, get more sleep, and stay busy and see how things go. If symptoms subside when I'm too busy to think about them, it's anxiety. Really it's just September that has been bad. I mean I had the tingling prior which I was worried was MS or something, but only passing thoughts and I would go on with my day. Since my ER visit on 9/2, it's been one thing after another and unless the docs are all missing something critical, my heart and lungs appear to be okay. I know there are people who get misdiagnosed so I can't fully be confident all is well health wise, but it seems likely given my known conditions and the ruling out of the others. Not that I want anxiety. I don't. However, I know I have it. I just would rather it be that than a serious critical illness. Really I hope it's just hormones and I can try to balance those. Unfortunately, I think anxiety has crept in though whether it was from the adrenal issue or its own creation, so I'll have to address that as well.

If I'm not feeling well after this week....better I mean, I will look into seeing someone that can help. I've tried Xanax three times now and it just makes me feel heavy, slow, and gives me a headache. I still feel the chest stuff while on it. Does that mean it's not anxiety? I mean I feel it when I try to concentrate on whether it's still there.

I appreciate the feedback.

Is this anxiety or something else?

A sensation that it started to rain or that I got splashed by water. I don't know how else to describe it, but it feels so real that I feel like I must have water droplets on me.