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My life sucks. I need help

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Posted 10/1/2014 7:26 AM (GMT 0)
Not sure if I posted that I'm leaving my husband.
But anyway, yeah over a week ago I told him how unhappy I was and wanted a divorce.
We haven't talked since. He's suppose to be away at work but has shown up unannounced 3-4 times already. I don't know why. But I figured he was checking to see if I moved anything out yet.

Well my anxiety and depression over this decision is really messing me up. I can't eat. My bowels are really messed up. I'm constantly in severe pain. If I do eat I'm going to the bathroom within 20 minutes in pain. I just about attempted to make up with my husband to see if it will go away. But he just made me mad and made me realize yes I need away from him for good.

Well. I'm laying here in terrible pain again because I ate a few chips. I'm under so much stress. The divorce thing, my kids are struggling with school. My kids all got colds, now we all have bronchitis. I had my dad babysit today so I could take one to the doctor and then went grocery shopping. Came back and overheard his conversation. Apparently 2 people at his house have stomach flu. My biggest nightmare. I cleaned up best I could. So now my anxiety has also shifted to my phobia. I'm so terrified.

I emailed a mental health clinic. Not sure if they'll contact me. I have no insurance and don't know where to go.

I'm such a mess. I'm so scared. I'm in so much pain and scared to go to the bathroom again.
Posted 10/1/2014 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi BKM,

I am really sorry to hear of your difficult situation.:( My heart breaks for you, as I know how hard this is.

Do you have a plan on where you are going? Are you and the kids going to be stayng with someone? Is your husband not willing to be the one to leave?

I wish you health and safety at this time. It sounds like your IBS is acting up...I'm sorry.:( Try to eat mild non-trigger foods.

Let the worry about the stomach flu go. You can't catch it by a non infected second party. If someone at your dad's house has it...your dad could not give it to anyone at your house, since he is not sick himself. It's okay.

Know that we are thinking of you now, and keeping you in support.

I wish you well in all that you must do today.

S.C.
Posted 10/1/2014 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
bakomom,

Your post makes me want to jump in my car and come over there and help you out! Seriously, you are facing so much right now. This has got to be so hard for you. Is there anything we can do to help your situation out? Do you have any prescriptions that you take that can help with your anxiety?

:(

So sorry to hear that you're going through something so tough. :(
Posted 10/1/2014 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
I can see how overwhelmed you are. It's okay to feel like everything's in a whirlwind because in pretty much every way, well,...it is. Giving yourself permission to feel what you do goes a long way.

The most I can think of is managing the symptoms (such as your anxiety and digestive issues) perhaps with meds? One step at a time.

You have made up your mind re where you want your future to go. It's important to keep your focus in that direction. One breath at a time, one day at a time.

For what it's worth, I've been absent of late because among a few other goodies, my darling Husband brought home some type of 'cold' type thingie after an event he attended last week, so I've been feeling pretty yucky. There's something going around....it's that time of year!





M.
Posted 10/1/2014 5:27 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry to hear of everything you're going through. I really hope you are able to see a doctor soon. I'll be praying for you as you try to figure everything out and seek the help you need. Hang in there, friend.
Posted 10/1/2014 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
My cousin gave me a key to his house so I can go there anytime. It's just been so hard on me. Been trying to let myself heal and move on. But it's hard. Part of me keeps hanging on and the other part is saying come on let's go!

It's been really hard. Eventhough I'm miserable. I know if I stay things will always be the same. I can't make him change. I can't make him want to spend time with me. But even if were in the same room we have nothing to talk about so I wonder why do I even want him home with me? It's just so hard. All the stupid arguments we get into, everything that has been said, plays over and over in my head and hurts.

I was going to try and get a storage and go to the court this week. But been so depressed, not feeling well and everyone being sick I haven't done anything.

I figure he comes home next week for his days off. I'll just stay at my cousins while he's home if he won't leave. But he has nowhere to go unless he gets a place or gets a motel room for 2 weeks. So I don't know.

I know I really need to cut the cords he's bound me up in. And it's hard.

My ibs is out of control from stress. It doesn't matter how light it is. I can't control the pain or bathroom trips.
Posted 10/1/2014 6:31 PM (GMT 0)
Do you have insurance? Can you call the mental health clinic vs emailing? I know some on here have talked about emailing their psychs. That's new to me bc I just make a phone call. If you have insurance, will you consider getting a consult?

Also, can you get into therapy or are you in it? I don't know the details behind leaving your husband but have you two ever tried marriage counseling or do you feel it's beyond repair?

I regret not getting therapy sooner when my ex and I broke up. That was 18 years ago (we weren't married but had been together for 10 years). I'm now happily married for 10 years (tomorrow actually), but I sure don't forget the turmoil of ending a relationship. We didn't have kids either so I know that's weighing heavy on your heart.

Do you have a girlfriend or family member that you can lean on or talk to?

Like TooMuchAnxiety said, wish we could run right over & help you. I'm like superwoman when a girlfriend is in crisis. I'm passionate about helping friends. Do you have someone to confide in, you never know who you think wouldnt understand or help, would actually be honored to help you. So many are afraid to ask for help or support.

We are here for you though so keep posting.

Maybe while your IBS is flaring, eat a bland BRAT diet (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast).

Hugs. You're not alone & we are here for you!

Lisa
Posted 10/2/2014 1:25 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks. Honestly I seeked counseling on my own because he didn't see we had a problem. But I'm way past that now. I don't even want to try anymore. I'm exhausted. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I'm just done. I want to seek counseling again for myself to help get everything out and heal.

I don't have many people. My cousin is all I have. He's really supportive. We are really close and consider eachother more like brother and sister than cousins.

He's having a hard time too though. His wife kicked him out last year and tried to keep the kids from him. But his bond with the kids was stronger than hers. He did everything. The perfect husband I would say. I'm sure he had his moments but everyone does. But a month after she kicked him out he found out she was dating another CO at the prison. He was torn up. He was also really sick at the time this happened because he has diverticulitis. So now that he's trying to move on she's not letting him. She gets upset when he talks to other women eventhough she's with another man. Her and her BF get in a fight and she calls him to get her. She's always at his house. She keeps trying to get back with him but he doesn't want to hurt anymore. And her always running to him doesn't help.

So he understands and I turn to him a lot.
Posted 10/2/2014 3:13 PM (GMT 0)
BKM,

Continued thoughts and prayers of safety, health, peace and continued strength as you go through this difficult time.

Know that you have a whole 'family' supporting you here! We do care about you...so let us know how we can best encourage you at this time.

S.C.
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