HELP! To medicate or not? - first time anxiety sufferer

Hi All-   First time to a forum like this and desperate for help.  Just as a little background…   I am 28 yr old that lives a pretty fortunate life.   I have an amazing job that I’ve been very successful at.   Yes, it does get stressful at times but I’m very used to the chaos and enjoy working under pressure. I also have an incredible Husband and extended family that is super supportive and 100% present in my life. I do have adhd and have been taking Adderall xr (15) Mon-Fridays for the last 4 years of my life.   It’s super helpful at work, but tends to deprioritize life at home which I’m not crazy about .   I’ve been thinking about getting off of it for a while now, but recent events have expedited that decision.   about a month ago I suffered my first ever panic attack in the middle of the night.   It was AWFUL..   I’ve never experienced that type of fear in my life until that moment.   I experienced very mild and sporadic anxiety the next couple days (mostly out of fear it would happen again).   As a result of this experience, I stopped taking my Adderall regularly as it is a simulant and I feared it would only make the situation worse.   I was completely back to normal for a couple week then the anxiety returning this week in FULL force.   It is definitely not a one time panic attack.. it is constant.   It has completely taken over my life – I missed a couple days of work, I can’t sleep, I have no appetite, etc..   Its been brutal.   After a couple visits to my dr this week, she give me a script for both Xanax and Lexapro (5mg for a week then up to 10) for treatment. I   took the Xanax the first night and was able to finally get some sleep.   I still woke up very anxious… so now faced with the decision if I want to start the Lexapro long term.   Long story short- I hate being dependent on Adderall and fear that Lexapro will just be its replacement.   I want so bad to go cold turkey and live medication free… but the anxiety I am experiencing right now is completely debilitating.   I don’t know whether this is just a phase while my body is getting used to life off Adderall.. or maybe this truly is my brain functioning off adderall?   I have no clue.. and I’m terrified.   I’ve already missed more work than I feel comfortable with and need to snap out this as quickly as possible.   I was initially open to Lexapro but I’ve read so many awful things about it side effects and withdrawals that now I’m completely on edge about it.   I keep thinking this has to be just a phase.   I am normally a very happy and positive person so this whole situation is quite frightening.   I hoping there is someone out there that can relate and share their experience with me.   Positive experiences… preferably.   I’m a little fragile right now   J   

Did you have the initial panic attack while you were still on adderal on a regular basis or had you started cutting your dose by then? Anxiety can come after stopping or reducing meds like that. Did you stop it with the Docs consent or on your own? I ask bc idk if stopping it cold turkey is ok.

With that being said, right now I guess it doesn't matter the cause bc you are now miserable! Any one of us can sure relate to that. We've either been there or are currently struggling for various reasons, so know you're not alone. Or crazy!


Have you looked into a therapist to help you through this to teach you coping skills? My first reaction when I've had these struggles is to get myself into therapy. Also, don't be afraid to take the Xanax as prescribed. It doesn't mean you have to take it forever, just to get you through this hump.

For me personally, when it's gotten to the point you're at, where it's affecting your quality of life 24/7, an Antidepressant got me through it. 20 yrs ago when I was in college (I'm 43 now), I took Prozac for 6 months and it was a lifesaver for me. The good thing about Prozac is that when you want to go off of it, there is no discontinuation issues like every other anti depressant. It's not always the first choice by doctors anymore bc it can "poop out" after a few years but I now know, any med can and people who are on meds for life, often have to switch up their AD's every so often.

Every single one of us have been afraid to start a medication, especially the first time. I didnt like having to take a med long term 6 yrs ago when I decided to just stay on one. I had 12? yrs of no meds until 2008. Had a mini breakdown after leaving anxiety untreated, got depressed and needed an AD again. It was then I decided to just be a "lifer" on them bc I do have a tendency to anxiety and depression.

The good news- this is very treatable! Some of us use meds, some just use therapy and many of us use both. We are all unique so our treatment is different, just like our meds lol.

There are PLENTY of people who use an AD just to get through a rough patch then when they're back on their feet, will taper off of them per doctors instruction and not take a med anymore. That's def an option for you too. Discontinuation syndrome can be very minimized by tapering slowly and sometimes psychiatrists even augment with Prozac to avoid or prevent any side effects while tapering bc like I said above, Prozac has a long half life and doesn't give the usual discontinuation symptoms.

The weekends here on the forum are kinda slow sometimes so you may not get many replies for a day or so.

Lastly, the dr that prescribed the Lexapro, are they a family doc or Psychiatrist? Most of us go to psychiatrists for our meds. In my early years, my family doc prescribed meds. Family docs are fine but if you can see a psychiatrist, that's the route to go since they're specialists in mental health meds, including ADD meds.

Wishing you all the very best. Please know this WILL pass and you WILL be ok. I know it totally sucks and may even feel hopeless at times but it's *not* hopeless.

At the top of this forum page, are wonderful resources you can check out that may help you. Have a look & see!

Hang in there girl, "this too shall pass."

Sending love-
Lisa

I had my first panic attack at age 28 too! I had no clue that's what it was though. I went undiagnosed for a couple months. I had no clue what was going on with me. I was prescribed Ativan by an ER doctor. They did absolutely nothing for me. Shortly after that I went to my family doctor and she gave me a script for xanax and Zoloft. I took a couple xanax and never even filled the Zoloft perscription. It just kind of went away. I've had two more episodes since then over the last 10 years, but no panic attacks in between. I've not been on an antidepressant, but with this last bout I was prescribed Lexapro. Like you, I was a little nervous about the side effects. But I researched the hell out of that drug and I don't think it's as bad as you think. I know everybody's chemistry is different, but Lexapro seems to agree with more people than not. For now I actually take an anti anxiety medication called buspar. It's a mild medication, and like most, doesn't work for everyone. I also take xanax, as needed. But the thing that has helped me the most is letting some time pass. it helps me be less scared of the panic. There is no quick way to get rid of anxiety and panic. But you will get better!! I agree with sweet, look into therapy. It works for a lot of people, including myself:)

Hey Lynne, first of all Welcome to HW :D
It's a bit late reply but, I am sorry you are going through these but please know that you are not alone. Please write to HW forums whenever you need support or need to ask questions.

In my case of medications, I was lucky enough to have persistent thoughts of continuing a med no matter what, lol, so I got good benefits from my medication. I can't say anything about sedatives (which I never use) but as far as I know antidepressants have like zero chance of making you dependent. And they are easy to go off. Just as you said, just start Lexapro and don't think about the possible side effects and all, it will be fine <3 good luck!

I definitely do not want to make you more anxious so I apologize in advance if this is taken that way. To those who said that prozac or other antidepressants didn't have side effects after stopping, that has not been my case. I have gone cold turkey and I have tapered over more than a years time and I haven't always had good results.

I say this not to worry you but to help you make an informed decision. For me I guess it's looking like I have to have prozac forever. I hate that but if it keeps me from feeling this horrid anxiety than I don't care. Somebody else here said they'd eat goose poop if they knew it would help them and at this point I can relate.

Having said that I feel like way too many doctors underplay the effects these meds have. When more people in your life are on antidepressants than not, then in my opinion something is wrong. I feel like many doctors give this stuff out like candy without full disclosure of lasting effects. So that means you need to do the best you can to research before you take anything so you feel as comfortable as you can with it. You don't always have to take the first thing they throw at you. Sometimes there may be a safer alternative (I don't know anything about your med) that you could talk to your doctor about.

In the end though you have to take a look at is the risk vs benefit. You're life is at a standstill right now and you are not able to cope. To me that shows that you need extra help. I would say just do your research and make the most informed decision you can for now. If you go to therapy down the road you may not need the meds. And if you do, then you will manage. I know that none of us plan out life thinking we will have to take meds forever. The thing is if you were diabetic would you look down on yourself for taking insulin? I'll bet you don't think poorly of others who have to take meds so just try your best to give yourself a break right now. I wish you luck!