HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Feeling empty

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 10/13/2014 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
I found out in facebook that my dad passed away 2hours ago. To tell you guys honestly, my dad got his own family. I grow up with out a dad, I tought he was just a friend of my mom. He had 3 daughter including me in my moms side. but I don't hate him or I don't even have a hatred towards him. I'm so thankful that because of him and mom Im here in this beautiful planet. I don't have a feeling at all for him he can't blame me as well his own family. I never exist to them they thought the youngest of the family is my other sister. Right now it hit me,I am emotionally hurt because I remember my past. Can't help myself to cry. That I need him so bad in my life and I feel so jealous to my step sisters and brothers that he is there with them and taking care of them good. The last time my step sister texted me to contact my father because he wants to ask forgiveness to our family esp to me. I didn't put any attention with it. I feel like I am a bad daughter. Swear to god I am thankful for him.. Sorry for my sentences. I'm not that good in English but trying to express what I feel. Thank you guys for reading my post.
Posted 10/13/2014 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry! We just had a post about growing up without a father. You should find it in the topics, it might help you.

Try hard not to blame yourself. Your father was the adult and made the choice not to have communication with you. You were an innocent child & that was not your fault.

I would strongly encourage you to see a therapist (counselor), to talk about these feelings. They can help you make sense of things and teach you ways to cope so you are not full of guilt. When we hold feeling in, they cook inside of us until they boil over and then we deal with anxiety &/or depression.

I'm sending you a big hug for today. Please talk as much as you want here. We will support you

Sending love,
Lisa
Posted 10/13/2014 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear this and it really won't seem like it now but I promise it will get better. Grief is a weird thing and it hits everyone different but nevertheless, in time. It will. Get better 💛
Posted 10/13/2014 11:38 PM (GMT 0)
Bik,

I am so sorry to hear of your sad news.:( It must be an incredible shock to you.

I agree with all that lesweet and anxiousbloke said above...and will only add my compassion and condolences for you.

Here is the link that lesweet was referring to. It might help you to understand that many of us dealt with the abscence or the loss of a father growing up.

Post anytime, and know that we are thinking of you during this diffucult time.

Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/14/2014 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you lesweet1971 and anxiousbloke. Trying not to think about my past and move on.
Posted 10/14/2014 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you SC, I will definitely open that link.. My heart is broken right now. Dealing this anxiety and stress at the same time thinking about my father.. I opened it to my husband and he totally understand what I feel. And my husband knows what's my life history. Good thing he is a good listener. Thank you guys for all the concerns..
Posted 10/14/2014 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=3207832

Here is the link...sorry I was having trouble getting it to post earlier...?

Again, we offer our condolences and support.

S.C.

✚ New Topic ✚ Reply