Can't take it anymore/No one understands

Oh FlashingLights-

I am so so sorry about your dad. My dad passed suddenly the same way, 6 years ago. I wish I could hug you.

I felt the same about some of my friends after dad passed. They would be telling me about something in their life and all I wanted to say was "hellllooooo, my dad just died, I don't care." Im not a mean person but when we lose someone so close, like your dad, we can feel so alone & need people to acknowledge us and maybe ever coddle us a bit. I actually almost wanted the attention, the sympathy. It was comforting.

People disappointed me a lot during this time. I'm from a small town & when someone is sick or passes away, you take food to the home. I live in a bigger city but had friends here & not one person brought food, took me out for dinner or anything. It hurt my feelings.

My point is, sometimes people are not always empathetic or know what it feels like to be in your shoes. Also, you are young & likely not many of your friends have lost a parent. A lot of us here have been in your shoes and we know what feelings- good, bad & ugly, you are likely feeling.

As for your BP, is it always high or just high after the stress of losing your dad? There is only so much you can handle right now. If tracking your bp is just too much, hold off on it for a short time. You could likely get it down by doing some deep breathing exercises. Those are wonderful for anxiety too. Kill 2 birds with one stone! 👍

Are you taking any medications right now or seeing a therapist?

Keep posting here all you want, angry, sad, mad, anxious, happy etc. You know we don't judge & always meet you where you're at. We care about you and want to support you and give you hugs during this hard time. You're never alone here! 💗

Sending you a big tight hug. It'll be ok girlie, I promise.

Lisa

Hi FL.,

I am sorry that you are going through this rough time...and that some insensitive comments further complicated your current feelings.:(

We do understand and care for you here. You are an important member of our community...so know that you can always talk to us here!

I tend to think like LS that your BP is probably a temporary/situation thing...but your doctor is being wise by keeping an eye on it.

I think the machines at the store are not reliable...so I recommend getting your own machine to test with at home. Take your readings when you are relaxed and have rested for a few minutes...and not after eating or drinking anything.

You are going to be okay...you need time to heal. Try to be patient with yourself and the process.

I know that this is a difficult time. We are here for you my friend.

S.C.

Some possibilities are that other people, no matter how much we want them to understand, are just so uncomfortable themselves that their way of dealing is turn the subject onto themselves. Another possibility is that they really, truly, honestly do *not* get it. And we can't make them *get* it. Sometimes people make comparisons thinking it's a way to help relate to your situation (their intentions are honest enough, but it ends up an epic fail).

I wish you had some people around you who were,....here's the important part,....compassionate! Yes, compassion is what you need now. Not other people's problems or counters. I know that you will find it here, this is a great group of people, and this is one of the best judgment free zones I've found.

Do you have people around you who are sincerely sympathetic to what you're going through? This sounds like such a traumatic time for you, and with good reason. You've been through, and are going through, quite a lot for one person. It's no wonder you feel overwhelmed....

Is there anything we here can do to help you?





M.

Thanks so much Lisa! I always enjoy reading your responses... You have a lot of insight in dealing with anxiety and I can relate pretty much with everything you have to say! Thanks for all the encouragement!

Cornell

I'm from the CP forum but saw your post and thought I might be able to offer you some comfort. My parents have been gone 18 years now and although my world has certainly been different without their eartly presence know this, they have walked with me every step of my life. Soon after my Mom passed away I knew she still had a comforting and guiding hand on me at all times. I could feel her in times of stress and trouble, saw her laughter and joy as good things came to my life and feel her pride in every accomplishment I made,experienced her love through the grandchildren she never knew. Death cannot sever the bonds of love of a parent and child.

He will be forever close as you need him to be you only have to feel his love in your heart.

Peace and comfort to you.

Thank you all so much for your kind words, I always feel so much comfort here more than anything. It's gotten harder, much harder, but I'm getting through it. I kind of shut out the people who weren't helping me feel better, a few family members and a friend is all I have and I am content. I just feel so lonely. My dad wasn't just my dad, he was such a good friend. All the things I loved doing were everything I looked forward to. We were always together and laughing. He was the one person who I just was totally fascinated with and inspired to be like, but you can ask anyone, my dad's shoes were too big to fill, everything he ever did was so amazing, such a caring and smart person and I just miss all that. I know he's with me now, more than ever but it's so hard. Sometimes I wake up and think everything is back to normal and then it hits me.

I've tried to grief councelling, in fact tonight is another session. It's very religious which I'm not, but I've opened my mind and it is something new to me.

I sometimes get mad thinking why would he leave me but he did not want to and I just tell myself he is here and one day we'll be back fishing and just sitting there with the sounds of nothing but peace and serenity.