going back to work tomorrow feeling bad

Everyone I could use any advice you can offer. I start back to work tomorrow night and I'm still so shaken up by my attack the other night. I hadn't taken xanax in so many days I can't even remember and now this is my third night in a row taking it along with yesterday. I just don't understand how I could be feeling so good and happy and now be back to feeling like this again? I havent felt this bad in days and the fact that I'm feeling this way and have to go back to work tommorrow well its got me worried. Does anyone have any advice? Every time I try to do deep breathing I end up panicking more. I'm trying to stay positive but honestly I'm scared and angry that I'm feeling like this again. I keep trying to tell myself the worst that could happen is I'd have a panic attack and have to go sit down or leave. That wouldn't be the end of the world other than the fact I desperately need the money so I have to work. I hate feeling this way again.

I was thinking the same thing...

Once you get past this anticipation of going back...and the fear of another attack...I bet that you will actually start to feel much better.

Getting up and going may be rough at first, but I have every confidence that you can do it!

Keep telling yourself positive things. Repeat that you will not have an attack...that you will be able to handle all that you need to do...and that this is going to be a great step forward in your journey.

Even if you still have your doubts...keep that monologue going in your head!  The words we say to ourselves have power!

I hope that you can sleep tonight...

Best wishes...you are going to ROCK this.:)

Let us know how it goes, okay?

S.C.

Thanks you guys. I woke up this morning and went to this post first thing just knowing that it would make me feel empowered and I was so right. I'm shaky and nervous this morning but I don't think I feel quite as bad as yesterday. Just sort of this weird unreal feeling that is unnerving. I guess it's just strange to be afraid of something you've done a million times. I'm dreading walking through work and having everyone make a big deal about me being there. Don't get me wrong it is awesome to be liked and welcomed at work but the last thing I want is to have all eyes on me.

When my anxiety is really strong I get in this sort of brain fog and can't think straight. I'm so afraid of that happening when I'm in the middle of helping a customer with something. Although I work retail at a service desk there can be some complex things to deal with and I'm not sure my problem solving skills are where they should be right now.

I'm just hoping I will conquer tonight and have the knowledge that I can do it again. After tonight I don't work again until a day shift on Tuesday. I've almost always worked nights at my job to the point where many of the daytime people don't know who I am. Days there are a totally different vibe from night and always make me super nervous. However since my kids are all in school now I want those day shifts even though I prefer nights, obviously I want to be home with my family at night. I had just gotten used to the day shifts and felt comfortable before this anxiety came into my life. I hate the fact that I work tonight and then nothing again till day tuesday but I will handle it.

I will come back and post tonight even though it will probably be after eleven. Cornell, I am sending good vibes your way and can't wait to hear how it goes for you. Here's hoping we will have happy stories to share tonight!!!!

Okay you go back to work, then what? What is the worst that could happen?

OK...this may sound weird...but...I think it has merit. GIVE YOUR SELF PERMISSION to feel the way you do and stop coming down on yourself...OK??? OK!! :) What you feel is actually NORMAL... not 'bad'...
Just view it like a river flowing...and let it flow, fast or slow...and remind yourself that 'in spite of it all' I am still OK...
Good luck! You will ok...and its ok to NOT believe that :) ... because part of you actually DOES. Let us know how it all came out... :)