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I am.....crazy!

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Posted 10/25/2014 2:06 AM (GMT 0)
Seriously, there is no other way to define myself other than crazy. Tonight I went for my walk/jog and ended up jogging a TON without any problems. Everything seemed to be fine. I even ran up a large hill. No problems whatsoever. I even made it back home and had dinner with the neighbors.

The reason I know I am CRAZY is this:

It's the end of the night and my anxiety is creeping in on me. I have this feeling of dread coming over me as though there is something wrong with my heart. Absolutely nothing went wrong on my jog, I haven't had heart palpitations in a few weeks, and I have had lots of energy lately. But right now my body/mind are enticing me to think that something terrible happened to me, or is about to happen to me. Nothing went wrong. LOL. What is wrong with me? I can't seem to shake the idea that there is something wrong with me, even when NOTHING is going wrong.

Strange?
Posted 10/25/2014 2:17 AM (GMT 0)
Not strange when you're in the middle of trying to heal from this scourge known as anxiety! It didn't come up overnight, it's going to take its time getting put to the back burner (please remind me this when I'm struggling too lol). I know it's true. However, when I get upset, I swear my IQ drops & I don't believe it and get very angry with myself!

"Crazy" people enjoy being crazy and we don't so yeah... We 'ain't crazy..

Can you turn on a yoga channel or DVD & do some stretches or take a warm bath? Something to get your mind off the negative loop playing over & over in your head. Or journal. Or go fold some laundry, clean out a drawer.. This helps me.

I just posted on Parks post & I should have mentioned anything cleaning (like we don't do that enough) but being productive when I'm obsessing or ruminating, gets my mind somewhere else. The less we feed the "beast", the quicker it goes away.

Sending hugs! I understand girl!
Lisa
Posted 10/25/2014 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Lisa,
I noticed how you posted on Parks post too. And I love how you put in parenthesis, "remind me this"..lol Isn't it funny how we can be calm and level headed when we are helping someone out, but we can't convince ourselves of the same advice? I wish when I had my anxiety come up, I could be talking to myself like I do to others on this site. I do try and re-read posts I've given advice, and can never seem to take my own advice. I wonder why our minds seem to work that way? I too think staying busy helps alot.
Posted 10/25/2014 3:02 AM (GMT 0)
I do that everyday. I wake up in the morning thinking ok what neurological event is going to happen today? Stay strong!!! You will be ok.
Posted 10/25/2014 4:05 AM (GMT 0)
TMA

I always follow your posts and I would bet my life savings that you are not crazy! Quite opposite actuallly, I look at you as someone who is level headed, caring, and really smart when it comes to this disorder. It's obvious that you have educated yourself with this disorder and knowledge is power!

No matter how far we think we have come, the thing called anxiety can sneak up on us and catch us off guard and make us feel like we're "crazy". Keep your tools on you at all times to manage your GAD!

Remember that anxiety is a liar... Don't buy into its lies! You are a smart, educated, and caring person. Am so proud to be your friend!

Big hugs

Cornell

Post Edited (Cornell) : 10/25/2014 8:47:14 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/25/2014 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
Lisa, what a GREAT analogy. It is going to take a bit of time before it gets on the back burner. :) I guess I'll just keep waiting all of these silly thoughts out! And yoga would have been amazing, or a bath....ahhhh, so relaxing, but unfortunately I just went to sleep... but hey at least my bed was nice and cozy! :) Thanks so much for your wisdom here, when I was lacking my own! LOL!

JF0310, Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone!

Cornell, I am SUPER grateful for your continued support and encouragement! I feel connected and protected when it comes to your words! So thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing and encouraging me as you do... and EVERYONE here on this board. You really get it, and what a heart you have! Your wife and kids are blessed to have you, and all of us here on this board are too! :)

And on a side note I follow as many as your posts as I can too, because I know that you have gained a TON of wisdom during your travels with anxiety---and also you have a good sense of humor too! :P
Posted 10/26/2014 12:10 AM (GMT 0)
TMA,
If you're crazy, then I am bound for Bedlam!!!
Anxiety is an enigma and messes with our minds and our reasoning! but it really doesn't make us crazy! If it did, I'd be bouncing around a rubber room right now and weaving blankets out of my belly button fuzz....
HUGS!
janet
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