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Posted 11/7/2014 5:58 AM (GMT 0)
I am worried for my mom. She never feels good, she has no sleep schedule at all, she is over 300lbs, she is in pain a lot, she won't exercise, she doesn't really help with house work anymore. She is bitter and angry and lazy. I have always tried to keep my family out of my posts, well my son is in a lot, but I try to take care of my family the best I can. My mom went to nap, normal. She woke up and felt shaky on the inside like her blood sugar was low, well she ate and still was not feeling good so she went back to bed. I am literally watching her die! She won't go to the doctors and when she does she blows what they say off because she doesn't want to deal with it! She is my mom and I love her but this is selfish, I am scared I may lose her and then what? I hate her for doing this to not just herself but us. I am a little anxious but mostly mad and scared. Oh and if you try to talk to her about it she gets butt hurt and yells. I will NOT have my son watch her die. Idk what to do anymore.
Posted 11/7/2014 12:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jessica.

It sounds like you and your mum are both going through a hard time if she could get her sleep sorted out I think that will make her feel a little bit better I did a post on sleep hygiene a while back which she may find useful information here's the link:-

www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=3216611

I can understand why you are feeling anxious I think I would be feeling the same does she have any friends that could come and speak with her?

Hibee
Posted 11/7/2014 12:32 PM (GMT 0)
I was recently talking on the Alzheimer's forum about how our parents turn into children and we become their adults... So ya gotta treat like children...

But "TOUGH LOVE" comes to mind...

Ignore her... Tell her you're going to ignore her till she grows up..

That, or sit down with her with paper and pen in hand. Shove power of attorney paperwork in front of her and tell her you want to start making her funeral arrangements....SHe apparently she's given up.

If all else fails, explain why her grandson doesn't get to see her anymore.
Posted 11/7/2014 3:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Jessica,

That has got to be so painful to be going through. I can totally understand your frustration with this. I'm assuming you live with her at this point, so seeing it day in and day out would be quite overwhelming. If you do currently live with her, do you have any plans to venture out onto your own? I believe there comes a time in a person's life when it's time to get a little space from the parental units. Your situation may be different and more complex, so I totally understand if that's not an option for you... Or hey, maybe you have moved out of the house already..?! I have no idea, but I guess we would need to know a little more about your current life circumstances before we can really speak into this.

But I do empathize with you on this, and can sense that your frustration is coming from a place of wanting to see her do more with her life.
Posted 11/7/2014 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
Morning,

Hibee- Mom has isolated herself from friends for years now. So no friends to come and talk to her. She is too lazy to make friends.

Steve- I am not sure that would work just telling her that I want power of attorney, but something has to give. Her not seeing my son would be hard as we all live on the same house.

Toomuch- I do live with my parents and I would love to move out but money is my issue. Blah I don't like money anymore!

I do have a standing invite to move to Oregon and if things don't change I will take my friends offer. I want to be here for her but she is too pig headed to even talk to so I have no clue.

Thanks for the kindness.
Posted 11/7/2014 4:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Jessica, I am sorry to hear that you are going through this, it sounds tough.
I can understand how it feels to watch someone you love not taking care of themselves and it becomes worse in time.
I hope you really feel better and talk your mom to take care of herself a bit <3
Posted 11/7/2014 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
JD.,

Is your dad/step dad in the picture? You said parents, so I am assuming your mom is married?

This is your dad or step dad's responsibility as well then, and you should not have to shoulder this alone!

How about siblings? Do you have brothers and sisters?

Aunt and uncles....?

I am imagining you enlisting the help of the rest of your family to do a sort on (loving) intervention to encourage her to get help.

You don't have to do this alone!

Hugs,

S.C.
Posted 11/7/2014 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
Yes SC my dad and my mom's baby sister are trying to help, my sister has washed her hands of it as I am about to do. I don't feel bad for her anymore, she feels bad all the time, she sleeps all day long and is up all night. I am tired of her not helping to keep this house clean. She acts like she is the only one in the world who hurts or is depressed or whatever the BS is at the moment with her. I clean do laundry keep my son as happy as I can try to keep the rest of the house at peace and she does NOTHING. I am so sick of it. If she wants to give up on life then I am outta her and I will not come back until she is dead. My son will not watch his grandma die because she is selfish and lazy. She is constantly yelling at everyone to take care of themselves and she wont, BS! I am so over this, she wants to die then she will do it without any kids or grandkids around.
Posted 11/7/2014 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
You are running the gamut of emotions about this, naturally! Anyone would be.

I hope that you and your family can come to a plan of action...and that she will participate in her own wellness and recovery.

I send thoughts and prayers your way!!

S.C.
Posted 11/8/2014 8:56 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone.
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