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Posted 11/30/2014 2:49 AM (GMT 0)
All,

I feel like I'm having some heartburn/indigestion. In August '13, I had surgery to correct this. Tonight, I had some Thanksgiving leftovers. The plate was large, but I probably only ate half. This is after I told my mother I didn't want anything numerous times. She's an enabler and doesn't listen! If she's trying to kill me, I wish she'd make it faster.

I'm feeling warm and a little flushed.

In December, I'm set for an EGD endoscopy. This is my first since before surgery. I'm nervous because of a horror story I read from a moderator in the GERD forum.

I can't handle a redo of that surgery. I can't.

I just needed to vent. I welcome any thoughts. How do I make my mother listen? Yelling doesn't work.
Posted 11/30/2014 3:40 AM (GMT 0)
Sometimes it's really tough dealing with mothers who are enabling. I don't know your relationship with mom but I feel most of them are trying to help when they enable. Especially with food. Is there anyway to sit down with her and discuss the issue?
Posted 11/30/2014 3:44 AM (GMT 0)
Maybe you could write her a letter? Sometimes its easier writing words than actually saying them. I am a lot clearer in writing as well. Just a thought.
Posted 11/30/2014 5:08 AM (GMT 0)
Smooth,

Both good suggestions above...

How about also having some written medical information printed out for her, so that she can see that your physical limitations are actually an irrefutable fact.

She may not have it clear in her head just what you can and can't handle...and this will end the arguing before it can start, really.

You will then of course have to take shopping and meal planning into your own hands, but you may have already done so.

If she still insists on cooking for you...you may have to go to the extra effort of getting a GERD cookbook (I've checked they do have them!) and working on meals together that you can tolerate.

As far as the worry about your issues returning...try to not anticipate or catastrophize for now.

You have some time until you get definitive answers...so if the worry starts to intrude, tell yourself...

"It's not time to think about that now."

It takes some practice...but this can help you to push the fears from your mind and stay in the present.

Hoping you feel better soon!

S.C.
Posted 11/30/2014 10:19 AM (GMT 0)
you have been given some wonderful wisdom. i too was going to mention a medical / food brochure. i might add that i do send many healing thoughts your way.
Posted 11/30/2014 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
All,

I know she means well. She asked how I was this morning, so I told her. I calmly, but sternly expressed my concerns and she acknowledges receiving it.
Posted 11/30/2014 4:53 PM (GMT 0)
Smooth,

Well done! I hope that this step brings about some postive changes for you.:)

After being both a daughter and now a mom...I see many familiar dynamics here!

Calm, but serious/stern was a good way to go.

S.C.
Posted 11/30/2014 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, I had huge anxiety attacks that put me in the hospital 10 years ago only we didn't realize what they were at the time. Stress is very destructive. I was definitely under massive stress. I did a lot of research and found that the food I was eating was actually excaserbating and in some cases causing the anxiety. It's important for you to clean up your diet and home products. I switched to all organic food and products (shampoo, dishwashing detergent, went from Teflon to stainless steel, etc.). I also cut out sugar, starch, dairy, and all processed and unnatural foods. You must do this in stages or it will be too much for your bod to handle. Please google Healing Naturally By Bee. She and her website changed my life. She's the real deal. It will also heal your GERD. 😊
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