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Today's Positive Quote

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Posted 12/13/2014 5:59 PM (GMT 0)
"Thoughts Become Things... Choose The Good Ones!"

Taking the day off of work today, I haven't gotten much sleep as I'm stressed over my grandparents' health, and it keeps me up all night. But today I'm going to tell myself that I feel fine& well, and it will manifest itself that way.

How are you all!
Posted 12/13/2014 6:14 PM (GMT 0)
cool  Love the quote!!

Thoughts and prayers for your grandparents...and for you and your excellent managment plan!

S.C.

Posted 12/13/2014 6:49 PM (GMT 0)
Yes what a great quote and very true.
Posted 12/13/2014 8:44 PM (GMT 0)
Sophie,

Wonderful! I once saw a similar quote on Twitter, printed it out, and shared with my co workers.

I'm around if you need to vent about your grandparents.
Posted 12/13/2014 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, John. Despite my attempt to be positive im feeling super down and depressed today. I haven't felt my depression kick in like this in a long time. I forgot how exhaustingand debilitating it is. I haven't slept well the past few nights. It's like when I sleep I'm not really fully asleep if that makes sense. My mind is constantly tossing and turning. And so is my stomach! I think I'm lactose intolerant because whenever I consume dairy I get nauseous and dry heave. But anyway, back to my point hehe, I told my boss who also happens to be my best friend that I needed the day off today. I noticed that on the schedule every single employee was supposed to work today when normally there's only two of us, so I figured even with me gone they would still have an extra person. My boss/ best friend responded with: "unless you're planning on visiting your grandparents, then no". I was shocked and hurt by this. My mom went to take care of my grandparents this weekend-- they live 2.5 hours away (grandma was just diagnosed with bacterial pneumonia and grandpa may have liver cancer), and I stayed behind because of work and other responsibilities. I was feeling guilty over this, but my mom insisted that I stay home to watch the house. And to hear my best friend say this to me was somewhat appalling. She then realized that what she said was harsh and ridiculous and called me to apologize and take the morning to see how I felt. So, throughout the morning I've been on and off crying. Not sure if it's over grandparents, or something else. Part of me feels like a failure. Part of me says "why can't you pull it together to get to work!" I hate disappointing people, and I hate disappointing myself. But all I have the energy for is sitting here and staring out my window and sipping my mocha. I started off my job at the same time school started and I was going 150 mph. Never stopping for anything. Then the anxiety hit because it was too much, and now I just associate work as an anxiety ridden place that I fear. But most days I force myself to go because I have bills to pay, and it's good for me to go. But today I just couldn't muster up the energy to do it given everything that's going on.
This is quite a ramble, I'm sorry.
Posted 12/13/2014 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
Sophie,

The sleeping difficulties make sense. I usually have to have a TV on to get to sleep.

If lactose doesn't agree with you, avoid it if you can! A lot of our favorite dairy products can be purchased lactose-free. I would imagine there is testing to know if you're intolerant for sure.

You're best friends with your boss? Did you become best friends at work or have a friendship prior? If your answer is the latter, then I don't like this. Working for/with friends is very difficult and can cause the friendship to become strained. This is already happening. If I were you, arrange a transfer to another store. Maybe you can still work with your friend occasionally. Or perhaps she can schedule you when she is off. With the things you're going through, you need her as your friend.

It's unfortunate she said that, but it's like my mom says... people's sympathy runs out. Being as she is a retail manager, she is under an exorbitant amount of stress with the holidays. I'm also sorry if I'm sounding harsh. It's just the reality of the situation.

Guilt is a normal feeling. I still regret not visiting my grandmother in the nursing home. However, I was a teenager and I had a life. I hate myself for it because she did so much for me. You respected your mother's wishes and stayed behind. Hang your proverbial hat on that. You had work, etc. Work it out to where you go next time instead so long as you're able to help your grandparents as your mom would.

Also take pride in the fact you have family values. They're not as common as you might think.

I'm sad to hear about their health woes. Utilize cancer support groups if that ends up being the diagnosis. I wish I had done that.

You're going to have to somehow do better with work. I do have a recommendation. When I'm having a rough day, I take a Xanax. I am on 0.5mg. See if you and your doctor can work out a treatment plan. If you are prescribed the Xanax, take it at home first! We need to see how you react to it. I'm no doctor, but that's my advice. It can be addicting, so you have to be aware of that.

Disappointing people is a part of life. You cannot and will not please everyone, so forget about it. I admire that quality in you, but most people would disappoint others in a heartbeat if it served them.

You started work and school simultaneously?! You crazy. :) I can understand the association. The Xanax could help.
Posted 12/13/2014 11:25 PM (GMT 0)
John, you don't sound harsh at all :). I appreciate your perspective. I think it may be time to call my psychiatrist and see what we can do. I've been avoiding this for a long time thinking it would go away on its own but clearly it's not. Which is ok. I just have to be proactive about it.
And my boss and I were friends prior to this current job. I've known her for 7 years. It's definitely straining our relationship.
Posted 12/13/2014 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
Sophie,

It all could be an easy fix. Who knows?

Perhaps heed my advice on work and maybe transferring if possible. I'm I'm interested in others' take on this.
Posted 12/14/2014 4:21 AM (GMT 0)
Blus and John,

As usual smooths perspective is spot on. Working for a friend does not usually go well. It's hard to separate the two relationships.

I also was a teenager when both my grandmothers had major health issues and ended up slowly dying. I was too concerned about girls and drugs to warrant more then a couple visits. I miss them and truly regret not seeing them more at the end. My uncle was on hospice over the summer and I was there every night the last week until he died. It was horrible seeing him like that but I felt more at ease spending time with him at the end.

I hope it all works out.
Posted 12/14/2014 7:30 AM (GMT 0)
Jennings,

Thank you.

I'm sorry to learn you have the same guilt I have. :(
Posted 12/14/2014 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Great quote thanks for sharing.

Hibee
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