Horrible, horrible week that has me falling apart

i finally went to the ophthamologist, had all kinds of tests and i don't have a cataract after all... have macular degeneration, predominantly in my left eye. They are attempting to treat it with injections in my eye (ugh) once a month for six months to see if there's any improvement but not promising anything. I'm always on the go and very independent so I'm terrified for the time I won't be able to drive. So that was hard to take, then got a call that the woman with ALS who I was caring for died so I attended her funeral today which was very sad. Next I get a call that my daughter-in-laws father has prostate cancer. So that's when the stomach started acting up...which it hasn't in a long time but usually when there are alot of stressors going on. But the worst was the phone call i got from my girlfriend of 45 years who just had her gallbladder removed and it was cancerous! (a very rare condition). Now they want to take out a portion of her liver because it rests on the gall bladder, telling her it's probably cancerous too and a very aggressive form and she will have to have chemo and radiation. She has had the hardest life of anyone i ever knew..lost one daughter of crib death and six more babies who died in her 7th month of pregnancy (before she was finally diagnosed with Lupus). She has no family in the area and has been taking care of her husband who had a stroke two years ago. I was so devastated by this news that I haven't been the same since....awful awful stomach pains, very similar to gall bladder pains I've had before, sometimes sharp like a knife, sometimes just that horrible tightness all around my body right below the rib cage. Since i've always had health anxiety, I wonder if there's any possibility I am mimicking her symptoms because of my sincere concern for my dear friend. I know there's a name for this but don't know what it is. Just seems like such a ridiculous coincidence that I would have this now after not having attacks in a few years. I'm so depressed over these issues I'm afraid I'll just end up in the hospital myself with either ulcers, gall bladder or, God forbid, cancer of some kind and won't be able to help her. I'm so sorry to sound so whiney but I desperately needed to vent....I wish the holidays were over and I always used to love them so much.

Bump.

Girl-

Do you pray? Meditate? If so, please find a quiet space, light a candle perhaps, maybe do all of this in a warm bath. Invite peace and healing into your space and for your friend as well.

That is a lot to handle but you will handle it & we will be here to hold you up when you feel weak.

Interestingly, my bff is headed to the ER right now with suspected gallbladder attack. She's the one that moved 2 hours away. We have always been there for eachother at the ER's (I went to ER 1x/year for the past 3 yrs! Not for anxiety tho- go figure). Anyway, I felt a pang of butterflies and angst Bc I am not there. I know that helpless feeling you're having.

You are a strong woman even when you feel weak. If you need reminded, get on here and ask bc we all know this about you. You are going to get through every single one of these stressors.

I agree about the holidays. I used to LOVE Christmas & last year & this year are just not filled with the magic I love so know you're not alone with those feelings.

Warm, healing & loving hugs to you friend-
Lisa

Andwes,

Hugs to you. I'm so sorry you are going through this terrible time right now.

You are all so kind to take the time to respond when I know you too are suffering with your own issues. It just proves to me more and more how compassionate and caring people with anxiety are. I just have this terrible feeling of fullness all around my middle and back, like there's a belt around me right under my rib cage and someone keeps tightening the belt! I guess it's the ultimate feeling of being "up tight" which is exactly what I am with all these stressors landing on me lately. I burp constantly and it's worse of course after I eat something (although it's always better immediately after eating but gets worse as time passes). Interestingly I always feel like eating, have normal bm's and dont have any nausea which usually accompanies gall bladder. So I'm just hoping if I up my Xanax to the dose I've always been prescribed (cuz it does help) that i can get through the holidays (don't want to upset my son and daughter in law who are so excited because they're hosting their first Christmas at their home with about 23 people expected). I'm also working very hard on quitting smoking as eye doc strongy suggested, so that may be contributing to my angst as well.

Anyway, thank you all again. I hope each and every one of you can find some joy and freedom from anxiety and health issues this Christmas season and we can all look forward to a better year in 2015. Love to you all. Andrea

Big hug from me also. So sorry your having a hard time : (