Posted 1/8/2015 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone! Sorry I've been away from the forum for so long. My parents were visiting and I was very busy with them.
Anyway, update on the spousal situation. Things are a little better, but I'm still not sure where things are going. I don't feel understood and supported and I really have to evaluate if this can be fixed. They say things that are very hurtful and then don't understand why I don't feel close to them. (I'm using them and they to try to be considerate of those that may be sensitive to gender identification in these sensitive circumstances) If I feel overwhelmed, it's because I don't know how to manage my time. If I'm feeling anxious and having a lot of physical symptoms, I just need to stop thinking about it. I don't know how to explain it all...I just feel very alone and not understood. I'm really depressed about going back to school on Monday, but I'm going to go. I don't have a choice but to continue at this point. I'm stuck. I had a panic attack and couldn't breathe earlier today thinking about it. Not much of an update, I guess, but that's where I'm at right now.
I also went to the doctor on Tuesday. I wanted to talk to her about the shortness of breath I experience from time to time and if I should have a stress test done. I've always worried that I never had that done as part of my heart evaluation. She was really nice and agreed that it would be useful and good for me to have it done. I'm going to schedule it as soon as I can. She also ordered a chest xray. I hadn't had one of those either, so it was nice to find out that was normal. It was the first time seeing her and I think I may have finally found a primary care doc. I haven't had one because I couldn't find someone I liked to stick with.
I saw my dentist on Monday and talked to her about the ear pain and facial pain I have. She agrees that I probably have TMJ problems from clenching my jaw. She referred me to a TMJ therapist and said I need a occlusal splint that will be about $500 if my insurance won't cover it.
Finally, I got in contact with the CBT therapist to schedule an initial appointment. Turns out she's not accepting new patients. I found another one and have an email out to her. Waiting to hear back from her. Fingers crossed I will be able to get in with her.
Hope everyone is well. Trying to get my mile long "to do" list done in the next couple of days. I'll post/reply as I can!