Hey! I'm 15, female. Last year, in mid-February, my periods had fully stopped and I started to get panic attacks. By March, I left school and started home school because I was getting panic attacks everyday in school. The panic attacks started off at school, then almost every public place, and in the couse of 6 months, everythiby spiraled down and now I can't even go one day, at home without a full blown anxiety/panic attack.
I get them every single day, between 20 minutes and 2 hours, on a long cycle everyday. I start getting them, and then it stops after 20 minutes- 2 hours for about an hour or so. Then it repeats itself over and over for the full 24 hours a day. The symptoms were overwhelming fear, I felt like I was gonna pass out or die, I was very light headed, I had a hard time breathing, I couldn't swallow anything, I felt like my throat was closing in, my limbs were tingling and eventually numb, my stomach hurt, I felt like crying, I felt like I didn't have enough space.
This, along with my periods stopping started febFebruary of 2014. I've seen a gynocologist, and she prescribed progesterone pills for 10 days to make my body force itself to have a period. The pills were taken in September 2014, after going 7 and a half months without a period. The symptoms were overwhelming and terrible. I waited 3 months to see if I would have abother period after the one in September, nothing happened after that. I went back in mid December, and she put me on the pills again. I started them January 1st, 2015. I couldn't do the full 10 days the symptoms were too bad. I wasn't able to sleep, I was constantly shaking, the panic attacks got much worse significantly, my eyes kept shaking, I had migraines and terrible stomach pain, terrible depersonalization/derealization, it was unbearable so I stopped taking them after 5 days. The symptoms hadn't stopped yet, its been about a week since I stopped on the pills.
Also last night I woke up on the floor of my basement. I'm not sure if I sleep walked or passed out, I can't remember anything except coming back to my room after dinner. I had this idea that a ******* attempt in a January of 2014 had caused all this to happen, I couldn't bring myself to do it. My boyfriend and my mother feel it's because of my eating habits, I started starving on and off when I was 13. I was always heavier, people bullied me and called me fat. They made pig noises when I passed them. I never lost much weight. I wouldn't eat anything for a week, and then I would bingexpect on junk for 2-3 days, then I would starve for another week. That went on for about 2 years. I started eating healthier around 3 months ago, if I feel the need to starve, I'll do it for a day or two, never a week.
I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, I drink water and tea. I've cut out soda. For lunch I'll usually have a turkey sandwich on wheat bread. I have a serious problem with eating in public, I cannot eat in public. I haven't been able to since the 6th grade. I can eat perfectly fine alone at home, but in front of any people I can't. I think that was caused by the years of my dad making rdue comments on my weight. I would go to get a cookie when I was younger, he would say rudely, "You sure you want that?" Also we were shopping at JcPenney, and I wanted shorts, he told me, holding up a pair of sweat pants, "Girls like you can't wear those." My brother, who has adHD has always bullied me throughout my life. He used to have all his friends over and point at me and say "ew would you look at the big fat pig." Or something immature and rude along those lines. I am now 5 fofoot 5, arapid 160 pounds. I want to be thin and beautiful, but I know starvation is not the way to get there.
I have honestly had a lot of self harm issues in the past.. I was never someone to talk about it or show it, I hid the cuts, I didn't say a thing to anybody, it was my secret. Onision opened my eyes and made me realize, this isn't solving any of my problems, there is no legitimate purpose. On the progesterone I was so angry and sad and frustrated I had a lot of anger, the littlest thing would set me off into rage. . I can't go on birth control, my mom possibly got a stroke from it when she was 18. It could have also potentiallyn been a head injury. I have seen a therapist but my parents aren't letting me see her anymore. She suggested methods that went against my parents wishes. I am no longer ********, when I have a panic attack, the thought crosses my mind but I don't let it become anything more than a passing thought.
If it ever got to anymore, I would remember my boyfriend, my family, my animals, and I would make a list of things that make me happy, and look at it when I feel like ******* myself. Around my boyfriend, I feel safe and happy. He makes me feel protected and he respects all of my boundaries. Being 15, I am not losing my virginity any time soon, I'm waiting until engagement or marriage. He respects me and is extremely loving. He honestly makes me the happiest out of everyone, besides my mom, sister, and grandma. I just really don't know what to do and I'm really sorry this is so long can anyone help or relate?
Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 1/12/2015 11:12:46 AM (GMT-7)