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Posted 1/25/2015 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
Having a bad night. I would guess it is just the stress from the last 24 hours, but I'm in a bad panic state right now. In spite of how worried I was all day about my positive test result, my heart was pretty good. I was worried, but my heart wasn't racing or anything. Now, I sit down to watch a show with my son and my heart goes crazy! POUNDING, POUNDING, POUNDING. Heart rate isn't too bad, around 100, but the pounding. Then the adrenaline waves start. Why can't I just relax?? The positive test, my spouse, the piles and piles of work I have to do. I'm so worn down by all of this. :(
Posted 1/25/2015 1:28 AM (GMT 0)
Do benzos help the pounding and the palps?
Posted 1/25/2015 1:39 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry, MG. Im having that kind of day too, so I feel ya. I don't know if Benzos are technically supposed to help with the pounding or palps, but for me they do. It's kind of the same thing as doing breathing exercises to quiet the body. When you slow everything down by doing the belly breathing, the palps and racing heart just sort of disappear. For me, I can't even relax enough to practice my breathing sometimes, so the Xanax helps calm me down really quickly and then after I'm in a relaxed enough state that I can practice my coping tools.

Hang in there. I totally support you managing panic with no meds, but if you do decide to try a benzo, don't beat yourself up over it. It's just that little extra shove that some of us need to help manage panic. Some people are on them for short periods of time and others for years. I've taken a Benzo of some sort on and off for about 8 years. I have no problem going on and off of them. I believe Larry has mentioned that he took Xanax for about ten years with great success too. Certainly if I could manage without, I would, but at this point I just need the extra support.

Hugs, friend. I'm thinking about you.
Posted 1/25/2015 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Park. I'm sorry you're having that kind of day too. I hope you feel better soon. Hoping a good night's sleep in your bed helps.

I have been trying to do this med free, but I just can't even take it anymore. I'm like you, when the panic and pounding starts, I can't even calm myself enough to do any breathing exercises. I actually feel worse when I try them. I'm beginning to think that if I could calm myself down quickly, it might help me more in the long run. I don't know. All I know is that I've been doing this for a year and a half and feel like sometimes I've gotten a little better, but then sometimes I feel like I haven't made any progress. It's just exhausting, you know?

Hugs to you too my friend.
Posted 1/25/2015 2:00 AM (GMT 0)
Miss- I have gone without med to calm my anxiety/panic almost the whole time I have had this. I do not have time to sleep and be a zombie. Take things slow and easy. It will all pan out.
Posted 1/25/2015 2:06 AM (GMT 0)
MG,

I'm the same way. The breathing actually increases my panic. I hyperventilate regularly, so for me to actually practice my breathing, I just have to calm down first and the Xanax helps with that. I can understand you being hesitant though, as I am still really fighting the idea of an SSRI. Trust me though, Benzos are nicer than they are scary. Probably why there's so much warning about becoming addicted.

As for sleep, I'm not sure I'll be getting any! My son's first night back in his crib and in a room alone and we're currently letting him cry it out. I have a feeling it's gonna be a long night. If I bring him in bed though.....vicious cycle!!!
Posted 1/25/2015 2:09 AM (GMT 0)
Poor guy...he's scared and unsettled. His routine from the last week is changing. He'll get back on track.
Posted 1/25/2015 2:12 AM (GMT 0)
He totally is. Especially since he ended up sleeping in bed with us for a little over half the trip. It's taking every bone in my body to keep from going to get him and bring him in our bed. Pretty sure my husband would murder me though!
Posted 1/25/2015 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
I'd totally get him. Don't listen to me though. :) What if you sit in the room by him until he falls asleep? That way he knows you're near, but you aren't setting up the sleeping with you cycle.
Posted 1/25/2015 2:31 AM (GMT 0)
We're almost at the go lay on his floor point. He's always been an amazing sleeper and self soother, so he's never really had to cry for longer than 15, maaaaaybe 20 minutes and then he's out like a light. All of the sudden he turns 2 and can tell us what he wants and every night at bedtime, we struggle! After about 30 minutes of yelling and him telling lies (I have a boo boo, I have a boogie, etc), then one of us goes and lies on his floor until he passes out. He's getting sneaky as he gets older! :-)

He just hit minute 30 and he's suddenly quieting down. Fingers crossed. He has a whole pack of stuffed animals in there to snuggle with!
Posted 1/25/2015 2:36 AM (GMT 0)
Ugh, tell me about it. My son used to be a great sleeper too. I could put him in his bed, read a story, kisses and hugs and say good night honey and he'd say good night and go to sleep. Then, around 3, he started wanting one of us to lay down with him. It's become a struggle with that for the past year.
Posted 1/25/2015 2:40 AM (GMT 0)
It's torture right?! Talk about pulling the heart strings. My heart a and is laying on his floor as we speak, but I can tell that he doesn't want someone on his floor, he wants to be in our bed. I have a feeling this is gonna be a rough transition back to sleeping in his room. My feeling is though, this could be our only baby.....is it so awful if I wanna snuggle him to sleep???

Hi, my name is Megan and I am my own worst enemy!!! ;-)
Posted 1/25/2015 2:49 AM (GMT 0)
Don't feel bad. I always think that too (might be the only and wanna snuggle him) and more often than I'd like to admit I end up snuggling him in his bed until he (and usually I) end up falling asleep. But, the way I see it, is that there will come a time when he wants nothing to do with me, so if he wants to snuggle now, I'm taking him up on it! Not necessarily something I'd recommend though!
Posted 1/25/2015 2:57 AM (GMT 0)
That's totally how I feel! If this kid was in a big boy bed, you can bet your butt I'd be in there, but he's still in a crib! I don't sleep as it is, but sleeping on the floor?! I have to go get my husband in a few or he'll end up spending the whole night in there.
Posted 1/25/2015 3:01 AM (GMT 0)
I used to cram myself in his converted crib. It was quite the sight, I'm sure! Finally got sick of that and got him a cute big boy bed from PB Kids so it was easier to sleep with him.
Posted 1/25/2015 3:23 AM (GMT 0)
That's so funny! His big boy room is on its way. I'm in trouble!
Posted 1/25/2015 3:28 AM (GMT 0)
Gigi,

When I am in the state you are describing I will pop a full 1 mg go klonopin. I will slowly come out of the panic sensations. It might not be the way my psych wants me to roll but I will use the benzo to get my head right.
Posted 1/25/2015 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
I was able to calm down eventually last night and even got some studying done!! Finally!! I hope you got some sleep Park!

Jennings- It's looking more and more like a benzo is in my future.
Posted 1/25/2015 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
Benzos can definitely be helpful. I'm on Valium right now and it's helping me so much.
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