Sitting in my room alone as they laugh outside

Boy does it sure hurt and feel so lonely. I wish I had the energy and motivation to be back to myself and able to talk to people. I wish I wasn't depressed and could feel joy... no matter what I do or try I feel nothing other than hopelessness, boredom, worry, and loneliness. As I type the laughter outside my room door just reminds me of pathetic I am, how sad my existence is, how alone I feel, how hopeless my situation seems, how nobody gets it and nobody cares. I feel as though I'm going crazy and at my limit. I've been at my limit for such a long time. I feel trapped within my own sick mind... is there no escape...

See a therapist they say... Ask your psychiatrist they say... I just increased my medication's dose. The psychiatrist won't/can't help me. I'm just their human lab rat as they test and try different medications on me that hardly do the job. A therapist? Does that really help or do they just want easy money? Do they really care about their clients while they watch their clocks, mouth drooling at the thought getting your money? How can talking really help such a deep problem... Seek help... what help? Let time pass... I've been in "relapse" for over two years now. Have I not been patient enough? Get a job/find hobbies/exercise... Yes, because someone who doesn't even have the motivation for self-hygiene is going to get up and go to work everyday and exercise when they get home. Eat healthy...Okay, now what? Read self-help books...I have, many, many times. I'm so sick of this. I am so... so... sick. I'm frustrated, resentful, impatient, and tired. What is it like to have a good day? Can anyone tell me? Their laughing has stopped, now all I hear is silence. What was better, the reminder of how anti-social and what a loser I am or the silence of being lonely with no help and no hope... I haven't an answer. This pain is too great.

Hi

It sounds like you are having a really tough time of it at the moment and are quite depressed which can run alongside anxiety. When you are dealing with anxiety and depression things can become very difficult and a solution to the problems looks unattainable but there is always hope and you need to try and stay positive which is hard I know.

Medications will only help to ease your symptoms they are not a cure all but what they can do is help get your symptoms to a more manageable level so you can then interact with phycological therapies better and be in a better place to take on all that is required to help aid your recovery.

Yes talking really does help and therapies such as CBT, CAT & Mindfulness Meditation all get great results and a lot of us here have used them and a positive experience from doing them. What they do is help you to identify your triggers to anxiety/depression and then teaches you to address them by using coping techniques which will enable you to manage your symptoms better. Therapy is much more use than taking medication but medication does have it's place to help aid your recovery.

Things will seem out of reach but with support you can get better and we are behind you all the way so keep posting here and we can help support you. As SC mentioned don't let the anxiety and depression win fight it and work towards your recovery.

Hibee