Not a good evening

I'm having a moment of weakness, and I already feel bad for giving in to it, but I just need to put a voice to what's happening without fear of repercussions.

I keep forgetting how to breathe. I have been super shaky for almost 3 weeks now, like to the point that I run into door frames and jam my shoulders into walls when I'm walking. I can't focus on anything. I don't want to eat because I can't keep anything inside of me. I don't sleep well, and when I do fall asleep I have crazy death dreams that are not restful at all. My heart is beating way too fast and I'm super dizzy. I know it's just anxiety. I do breathing exercises and pull out all my coping skills to fight it off, but I feel like I'm losing the battle. I have had at least one major panic attack every day for the past 3 weeks, usually more than one. I'm fairly certain my meds have stopped working. Again. I had an appointment with my doctor scheduled for today, but she called in sick so my appointment has been rescheduled for 31 March. I feel like I'm going crazy!

Sorry for venting.

:( oh sorry you having a hard Time , i do think that they should have you come in sooner so they could see if the doc can do something about the meds , if you can't see your own doc maybe see someone else in the clinic at least you won't have to wait a whole month.
How long we're you on the meds for? And which one are you taking ?

I'm so shaky! When I arrive home at night I walk in the house, shut the door, and collapse on the floor. I hold everything together all day, then when there is no one around I fall apart. I don't want to have another med change. I am on the waiting list if someone cancels with my doctor.

I'm sure it's all related. I started to get shaky, someone noticed and reported to the boss, a lot of paperwork followed, I'm worried about my job, shakiness increases, I need to ensure no one notices, shakiness explodes when I'm alone... I do mindfulness meditation - which is extremely difficult when the world won't stop shaking, but I'm still working on it.

Lani you have been thru job issues before and you came through just fine, if you have an HR department
they need to be defending you, you are good and very professional, "let them be afraid", Peace

Larry ***