Need help!!!

So I have severe anxiety and panic disorder. I used to take Xanax about 6 years ago which I was on for about 7 years. I finally quit taking it cold turkey which landed me in a mental health facility because I was losing it from the withdrawals. While in there they got me on Lexapro which I had been on for about the last 5 to 6 years. about a month ago I got really sick and i guess had a major panic attack which I have not had in about 5 years. Ever since then I've been a wreck because I got the bright idea to try and come off the lexapro. I was off of it for about three weeks and feeling mentally clear but then my anxiety and sense of self awareness was at an all time high. I decided to with dr.'s advice try to get back on the lexapro which may I ad for the last 5 years I was only taking 5mg once every 2 days. I know that is not the right thing to do but I felt like it made me sick in the beginning and never have it a chance. I've decided to try to take it everyday now and have been back on it for 5 days but I'm feeling awful. Stomach is always upset, no appetite, severe gas, always thirsty, feeling anxious and still very self aware of my symptoms, dizzy and everytime that I shower I feel like my heart rate jumps up about 30bpm and I feel like I'm gonna black out. I've read that lexapro can raise your blood pressure and I'm wondering if that may be part of it. I want to hang on and keep fighting and give this a fair chance but I'm desperate and feeling lost. I've completely alienated myself from the world because I feel so sick and I've been out of work for a month and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job even though I'm protected through the union. Any advice or words of encouragement at this point will be greatly appreciated.

Post Edited (WARRIOR OF LIFE) : 3/10/2015 11:54:14 AM (GMT-6)

I've been off the Xanax for a very long time and the dr. Doesn't want to give me anymore because I had such a hard time coming off of it. I am just worried that this being day 5 if I don't feel relief soon from the meds that I will lose my job because there is no way I can work like this.

Hi thanks for your questions. When this attack first happened I was still on the lexapro but taking it irregularly. I left my house to walk my dog and had a major attack I thought it was a heart attack so I went to the fire house next door and the took my blood pressure and it was like 185/110 and heart rate was at 165 so the rushed me off to the ER. I think that sent me into a heightened state of panic because I've had a lot of recent deaths on the family due to random stuff so I've always been in a panic something is wrong with me. Also yes I do breathing techniques and try to talk myself out of it. I was off lexapro for 30 days but the anxiety got to be to much even though I made it through the withdrawal phase. Now I am back on the lexapro at 5mg because I'm hyper sensitive to meds and taking it once a day before bedtime which I found helps me sleep rather than taking it in the morning which made me not sleep. The funny thing is my heart rate is in the 70's maybe 80's when moving around and 60's while resting but I still feel anxious. Is it possible to have a low heart rate and still be anxious? I always associated my anxiety with rapid heart beat. But now that I'm on the lexapro I just feel sick and agitated and like I just want to lay around. I guess it doesn't help that I have zero appetite either which I'm sure is affecting my energy level. The other problem is I have an ANRP who I don't get along with I've been to twice so I cannot talk to her about this and the person who got me back on my meds works for a mental health facility, I started the out patient program and went twice until the meds made me feel so sick that I don't want to even get off the couch so I tried to call them today. Sorry if I'm rambling I'm just in a heightened state of not knowing what to do :/

WOL,
Thanks for the clarification.
I think that the best thing to do at this point is to try and determine how much of what you are feeling is due to your med re-start.
How are you feeling now, as compared to being without the Rx?

A lot of what you are feeling could simply be caused by the anxiety itself...in which case, you should to try your best to push through the initial tough stage of the start up...since you will eventually start to feel better, and wind up with a medication that will work for you.

However, it happens that sometimes a person becomes intolerant to a med and ceases to find relief with it. If you are markedly worse just since starting the Lex again...this might be the case.

If so, then talking with your prescribing health care professional about alternatives should probably be your next move.
One Rx you may want to research and ask about is Vistaril. It is an antihistamine, used 'off label' to treat acute anxiety and attacks. It works similarly to a benzo, but has a differing chemical make up...and without the addiction/dependency factor. (there are also other A/D's to consider besides SSRI's if you find you don't tolerate this class of meds well.)

Also, for now...here is the link to our Resources. There are great self-help material suggestions, links and information to check out for working on at home, until you can get back to your out patient program.

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

Wishing you the best in taking these steps. I know how difficult it is, but reaching out here was a great start! Keep going, and posting with us...we are here to cheer you on along the journey to wellness.
S.C.

Oh and I did not take the Vistaril just to be clear maybe I should go get it filled.

Sorry that your going through this . It's hard to deal with panic attacks I had them regularly still fear them :( , maybe with taking lex. On a regular basis it will help the anxiety better .
I'm curios when you got to the ER with your pulse this high and bp high what did the doc say about that ?
I get same heart rate during my attacks and I always fear heart attack 😣

Woke up this morning with a panic attack first time I've actually woke up like the last few mornings I've woke up I was feeling pretty good and getting about 6-8 hrs sleep. Man using ssri's in the beginning phase is very discouraging :(

Yes it is possible to have anxiety and not get a rapid heartbeat, I don't normally get a rapid heartbeat with my anxiety, only sometimes. You are doing good, keep it up you'll get thru the side effects and the med will start working. In the meantime, look at the links SC posted for you, there is some good stuff there.

Thank you guys for your input it is really relieving to know that other know my pain and actually care. I will definitely look into the anxiety resources provided.

Jenn you are not alone either. What time are you taking your meds? I take mine at night before bed and find that I can sleep much better 6-8 hrs of sleep. I am now however on day 6 and my anxiety is out of control. I'm wondering if I need to up mine now to 10 as well? I think I'm going to try tonight and I will let you know how I feel tomorrow. This is a tough thing to go through but I keep hearing it will get better so I'm banking on hope and prayer. Just out of curiosity are you on Lexapro or generic?