Posted 4/21/2015 4:44 AM (GMT 0)
I once felt like you do, Gmoon. Always obsessed with what my heart was doing. When I'd feel anything unusual at all, I'd be running to the aspirin bottle to stave off my impending heart attack.
I used to always sleep on my stomach, but couldn't anymore because I'd feel my heart beating and it make me uncomfortable. I became hyper sensitive to every discomfort in my body, and always thought that it was a sign of something wrong with my heart, or a symptom of some fatal disease. I grew to become a hypochondriac, and my health was always consuming my thoughts.
The growing worry effected my health, which made me worry more, which effected my health more. The vicious circle constantly refueling itself. The cycle had to be broken.
That was 6 years ago, and I'm still here. Still have never had a heart attack.
Like you, I had an EKG, stress test, the full work up. Perfect, nothing wrong. And also like you, I couldn't take the doc's word for it. It gave me peace of mind for like a week, then it was back to that quicksand of worry when I was still feeling stuff again.
With me, I had a panic attack that kicked off my health anxiety. I'm convinced that it was brought on by prolonged stress. Before anything happened, every little thing at work and at home was increasingly setting me off, for almost a year, and I'm normally very laid back.
I only got better when I lowered the stress in my life, and stopped obsessing over my health. I still have anxiety issues from time to time from all of this, but it's nothing like it was. Not even close.
If I could go back in time and meet myself 6 years ago, I would tell myself to trust what the doctors tell you. They're experts, they know if something doesn't look right. Stop Googling symptoms all the time.. you're going in with a fatalistic viewpoint so you'll find something to satisfy that viewpoint if you look long enough. Remember the things you loved to do and do them, let those things own your thoughts. Reeeeeeelaaaaaaaaaaaax. Stress can be a catalyst for this sort of thing, so determine what's bugging you, and let it go. It probably isn't worth getting wound up over anyway. Listen to a nature CD and read a book. Play some computer games, binge-watch a TV series, laugh. Really, laugh. It lightens your mood.
In synopsys, if you're stressing all the time, it doesn't help. Do anything you can to mellow out and relax. I found self-guided meditation videos on YouTube to be helpful for me.
And don't obsess, don't dwell. I know that it's so hard not to. I was there. But if tests proved that you're fine, don't question them, trust them. Waste your time thinking about other things. Whenever your thoughts start falling back to your health, change the subject.
Once I started I doing those things, I started feeling soooooo much better.