How often do you take a benzo-mine is Ativan?

There is nothing wrong with taking it if you're getting yourself worked up into a highly anxious state. At the same time, I can understand you not wanting to get hooked on them, as you say.

What dosage are you on?

I'm not familiar with that particular benzo but that seems like a low dose.

I try to save mine as a last line of defense kind of thing when all my other methods of calming down have failed.

What's been working for me recently is accepting that anxious feelings will happen - it's how we react to them that will affect our recovery. I don't fear them because they cannot hurt me (numerous trips to the doctor and 2 years of experience with them and not having had something worse than a panic attack prove this).

Did the old you dwell a lot on why you felt calm a lot of the time? Or happy? Or did you just let the feelings be and focus on living your life? I would answer yes to the last question - life wasn't perfect (whose is?) but I could enjoy it.

It's understandable your reluctance to rely on meds. Sometimes though you just need that crutch to help you back on your feet.

I think you bring up a good point about when I when I wish to feel like I once did, calm and happy, I didn't dwell on that, I never thought about it. Even if I had a down day I didn't try to remove those feelings, I just went through them.

I think I'm letting those anxiety feelings pass through but perhaps I'm not. I'm still fighting them.

I finally took a 1/2 pill yesterday and I don't think it did that much for me. I also have valium (will never take them together, no worries there) and they work better for me. My doctor says they have a long life and doesn't like them as much.

Tela,

If you are using your coping/therapy skills first and foremost to try and self-calm...

...then using your benzo Rx only when needed, when the coping skills are not enough, is fine.:)

The fact that you are careful, responsible and concerned speaks to the fact that dependency will not likely be an issue for you.

Those that use Ativan/Xanax/other benzos along with coping/therapy skills...and according to their doctors instructions generally don't have a problem.

Wishing you the best in your progress...keep us posted.:)

S.C.