First Time Poster.... Need Guidance

I hope I am posting this in the correct location…. I am new to these types of forums and want to make sure this is placed accordingly. If I am not posting in the correct sub-forum or forum for that matter, feel free to direct me elsewhere. This is somewhat along the lines of anxiety.... IF THERE IS A BETTER FORUM LET ME KNOW. I'll be sure to take my post down. https://www.healingwell.com/community/emoticons/confused.gif

I will begin by saying I am a 22 year old male, 160 lbs and (from most doctors have told me) very healthy. I have an athletic build and up until last year, I would partake in sports and exercise regularly; I took a break from it to focus on homework this past semester as well as health concerns, which I will get in to. I graduated high school in 2011 and have been going to a community college along with working simultaneously for the past 4 years. Just this year (a few weeks ago actually) I graduated with an associate’s degree. I am still living with my parents since it is much cheaper and don’t feel that I am mentally ready to live on my own. Plus, I will be going to a university in the fall to finish my bachelor’s degree full-time. It has been a very interesting 4 years to say the least…. Some might ask why it took me so long to get my 2 year degree. Well, I am debt-free with work experience under my belt.
From the time I was 16 to 18, I drank on occasion with high school friends when we could get our hands on it, which wasn’t often. Over these past 4 years though (ages 19-22), I have developed what a handful of college students and young adults have; a drinking problem. Right out of high school, I began drinking myself silly almost every weekend. I didn’t drink for social reasons, I drank to get ****’d up. It wouldn’t be uncommon for me to fall down, slur my speech, and on rare occasions, black out. My problem was not knowing when to stop; I could keep chugging down beers even after 4 AM, not being able to maintain a sentence or walk a straight line. I have vomited a few times, and once woke up next to vomit on my bedside; as well as urinating in my sleep. I place a major amount of blame on myself; however, I had a group of friends who were nothing but enablers who drank almost as much as me. This addiction can be called a “weekend alcoholic” or a “binge drinker”. I’m sure I have downed at least 5-6 beers in less than an hour, and still continued to drink throughout a terrifying and dangerous binge. I’ve hit rock bottom numerous times… I’ve put myself and others in danger, I’ve lost friendships, I’ve lost belongings and I’ve lost trust in myself. On top of this, I’ve also been a tobacco user since I was about 17, smoking around 5-6 cigarettes a day. I used chewing tobacco in light quantities in high school, but haven’t touched the stuff too much since. Also as a side note, I had a very bad episode from “spice” (remember that fake weed stuff? Synthetic cannabis? K2?) once; one which I thought was going to take my life but thankfully didn’t. That particular episode was from some idiot at my work who thought it would be funny to sneak the stuff into one of my cigarettes.
Although that paragraph may sound downright terrible, please remember I only drank on the weekends. Plus, I’ve gone through lapses of abstinence here and there. It hasn’t been EVERY weekend for the past 4 years…. I’m not that bad. I’m a health nut (weird huh?) that has an exceptional diet and like stated before, exercises often. Now to transition….
I have had a little over a dozen doctor visits in the past 2 or 3 years, probably more, for health related issues. I would like to break down this section into ‘years’ for organizational purposes….
*2010*
-Senior year of high school
-Light alcohol use
-Bad case of hives from what I believe was whey protein induced (exercise protein shakes)
*2011*
-Graduated high school, started college
-Began heavier alcohol usage, binge drinking
-Gained a few pounds
-Drank a large amount of caffeine (energy drinks, pop)
*2012*
-DEVELOPED ANXIETY ATTACKS, quit energy drinks
-Binge drinking
-Quite a few doctor visits, cardiologist from heart palpitations, only to be told it was anxiety and panic attacks
-Started new job, ate more fast food, GAINED WEIGHT (185 lbs at one point)
-Started exercising more at the tail end of the year
*2013*
-Same amount of binge drinking
-More exercise, lost some weight (165 lbs in the summer)
-Turned 21, drank more in the summer, heavy binge episodes
-Anxiety and panic attacks subsided for a while during this period
-Began experiencing stomach issues once a month from the summer onward, more detail on this later.****



*2014*
-Got my crap together in the beginning of the year, spiritual epiphany if you want to call it that, tired of screwing up relationships
-From *January to June* (6 months) didn’t have a SINGLE DROP of alcohol, exercised RELIGIOUSLY, dropped to 155 lbs, felt and looked GREAT. Definitely a high point in my life. Constant bike riding, weight lifting, running, etc.
-The rest of the year, fell back into old habits of drinking… Binged often. (June to December)
-Started experiencing strange symptoms with exercise; dizziness, low blood sugar-like feelings, anxiety (AGAIN), out of breath, etc.
-After countless episodes of being doubled over in pain (from stomach issues as mentioned earlier), I had my appendix removed in December of 2014. CHRONIC APPENDICITIS was the cause, which is extremely rare.
*2015*
-Back into binge drinking with little exercise
-EXTREMELY BAD HANGOVERS (which actually originated sometime in 2014, but are at their peak) Almost literally become paralyzed for the next 2 days after drinking, body twitchy, feverish, etc.
-VERY BAD anxiety attacks once again
-Made attempts to start exercising again, only become out of breath, dizzy, and heart pounding symptoms.
-Mild depression from these issues and not being able to exercise
-Started taking herbal supplements subscribed from a nutritionist. I was told by her that I have bad chemicals that need to detoxed. Well…. I’ve been taking these supplements for about two months and still can’t exercise well, but do feel better with fewer anxiety attacks.

To wrap things up, since this is a lot of information to read, I would really like to begin exercising again like I did last year. I was in such a great place mentally and physically without alcohol that I want to be back in that place. The only issues I have are these episodes from exercising… Light headedness, pounding or palpitating heart, general discomfort, etc. Am I just out of shape? Or is it from the appendectomy? Alcohol abuse? Please provide me with some intellect. I don’t understand how I’m not able to exercise like I did last year; maybe it is just anxiety still lurking inside. I want the “go-ahead” from someone that will tell me it’s all in my head. I doubt I have a heart problem, but is that possible from the binge drinking? Anyone with a similar experience? Thank you and God bless.

First of all welcome to the anxiety forum, you posted in the right place and we are glad you are here but sorry you are dealing with anxiety. Since SC gave you excellent advice on exercising I'll let her be the pro there since it's something she knows well. :)

However I'm concerned about this statement you made:
-EXTREMELY BAD HANGOVERS (which actually originated sometime in 2014, but are at their peak) Almost literally become paralyzed for the next 2 days after drinking, body twitchy, feverish, etc."

This tells me you are getting alcohol poisoning and are at great risk of becoming an alcoholic. I urge you to stop drinking for good, please seek support if you can't do it yourself, either by going to AA which I highly recommend or seeking out a therapist adverse in addictions. I say this from experience, I'm a recovering alcoholic, sober for 24 years now but I used to drink just like you, until it stopped being fun and I needed it to feel better or to get over the body twitching which was the way my body told me I was going thru withdrawals. My late husband was also a alcoholic but he could never catch on to sobriety for very long and died of alcohol poisoning at the age of 39. So please know I say this from the heart and from years of experience, drinking like you are/were is not good for you and in the end will only ruin your life. :) "stepping off soap box now, sorry I don't mean to make you feel bad, just this is a passion of mine and I tend to go all for it, I hope I didn't over step my bounds." :)

Now for the anxiety, it can cause all kinds of physical symptoms, please take a look at our resource thread on the top of the forum and you'll see a link there that list hundreds of things our bodies can do during an anxiety attack. Alot of us deal with anxiety with medication along with going to therapy, Have you ever thought of going to therapy? I recommend CBT and Mindfulness therapies, they both show good results in anxiety treatment.

Please stick around, I look forward to getting to know you better and we can walk this journey with you.

Scaredy Cat said...
Hi Urizen and welcome.:)

I commend you for seeking to again regain sobriety and good health...I know this will make a huge difference in your anxiety and overall health!

A couple of questions if I may...

One...when you attempt to work out, do you start out slow and low? (intensity) Trying to jump right back to the level you were previously can be sabotaging.

Since exercise can bring on similar sensations to those felt during panic...you will want to avoid getting the heart rate/body temperature up too quickly...or becoming breathless.

Starting slowly can avoid this. If you start to feel symptomatic, slowing down...but NOT stopping will let your body and mind slowly get used to the experience again...

...and what's more...your brain will realize you can feel these benign sensations without fear.

The other question I have is whether or not you have support for your sobriety. Getting plugged into a program such as AA, or another group will give you the greatest chance of success.

Keep talking with us for support if you find it helpful. We understand, care...and are always here to listen.:)

Best wishes and talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat

Thank you so much for the kind and empowering words. To answer your questions..... Yes, I am trying my hardest to work into exercise slowly.... Being an athletic-ly smart person, I know how inefficient it can be to jump in too fast, especially after being away from the ropes for so long.... It just seems that I am having trouble doing simple tasks, like riding my bike, running/jogging, and lifting weights (all at a steady pace). I will keep at it and post the results.

As far as AA is concerned, I'm definitely planning to attend a local one. I have thought about doing so before and I believe it will help.... I also believe that I need to cut certain friends out of my weekends and see them only during the week. They seem to be enabling me...

H.,

Great! Keep up the good work and all that you are doing for your recovery...it will happen!

One other thing you may want to try to lower your overall stress levels...

In our Resources ( top of the main forum page) we have all kinds of self help material. Doing the suggested coping skills.
in the links before a work out could help keep you calm...

Practicing these daily can really make a difference in how you feel overall.

Talk soon,

S.C.