What do you recommend?

HI Melodee, I'm sorry this is affecting you so much, I do understand how you feel. I've had some breakups in my past that really affected me and I too found myself crying most the time. However, when my husband passed away 11 years ago I fell into the deepest depression I've ever been in, and it has taken me years to get out of it. So please know there is hope, you will feel better but it will take time. The heart has a mind of it's own and will let go of this when it is ready, there is no time limit on loss, no matter how the loss is felt.

I don't personally have any books to recommend but I did a google and found a site that list 7 of the supposedly the best books on breaking up relationships. Have a look and see if any sound interesting, there was a couple there that peaked my interest.

www.huffingtonpost.com/ben-michaelis-phd/books-breakup_b_5512600.html

Journaling has helped me with those types of emotions. It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship lost that causes you to go through these feelings of loss. I've written what I call "letters to nobody", because I knew I'd never deliver them, but needed to get it out.

It made a big difference for me. Somehow, just writing it down in black and white helped me immensely. Reading it later also helped.

Do get out, and try to have some sort of interaction with friends or family.

Take care.

Thanks everyone. I'm really trying to get thru this....I am.
But my heart is aching so much I can't even get myself to eat every morning. I force myself to do everything. When I am out, I still cry.

I will take all your advice and will try journaling in the future when I am ready.

For the meantime, I have absolutely no strength to go on. This pain is too much for me to handle. I have been thru a lot in my life, breakups, being a caregiver, dealing with losses, abuse, rejection, pain, struggles...I am a warrior. This is not the first time I have ever suffered in my life. Actually, I have been thru worse but the suffering I am going thru is different from any that I experienced in the past. My heart is shattered. I feel I have lost what kept me alive. Because of his profession, I was never allowed to contact him personally when I needed to. No means to contact him when I wanted to. In the end, I was not able to find closure because I had no chance to speak to him. This is why I am in so much pain. I have all these emotions welling up inside of me that I needed to express to him. I was not allowed to. I am sorry to sound whiney. I am usually not this kind of person! I rarely ask for support continuously. But this time I need it. So forgive me. I just need to know this will get better. And that I will heal...and that this pain will not stay with me.

 

Post Edited (melodee) : 5/29/2015 1:25:11 AM (GMT-6)

You are welcome Melodee, I'm sorry you are hurting so much, I really do wish I could take away your pain. My experience with my husband is a little different in that he died, but it is the same in the regards to it ending. You loss a piece of you and that isn't easy to accept. The heartache is real, but I promise you that it will get better. It took me years to accept my husbands death, in fact I still sometimes don't fully accept it and wish he would walk thru the door, but that is just my heart playing games with me. Who is to say how long one must morn a loss, there is no time limit as I said before so take it for what it is, a loss.

Try to do what others have suggested to make you life as normal as you can, get together with some friends for the night, or do something special just for you, even if it is to take a long hot bubble bath. It's okay to cry, so don't worry about it. I wore sunglasses for about 2 years after husband passed cause I was always crying in public. I didn't care what others thought, I was hurting and couldn't stop the tears.

We are here for you, so please post anytime you need too.

AngelLisa,

Your words are so comforting to me. Thank you so much for your support.
I am so sorry about your husband. I know my experience is nothing compared to the pain you had to go through.

It's strange because I didn't know this person that long. But he had such a special place in my heart. He still does. There is a quote 'Some people make the world more special just by being in it'. It's not the length of time you spend with a person....it's how much they affect you, how much change they bring to your life, and how much they touch your heart.

You are right. I will cry when I want to if that is the way to heal.

Thank you again for the support and encouragement. It means a lot to me.

Post Edited (melodee) : 5/29/2015 10:53:51 AM (GMT-6)