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I don't know what to do

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Posted 6/14/2015 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Geesh. Ok. So me and my husband have been talking. Over a week now. Considered counseling and working on things. Yet I'm the only one who says anything nice. And I'm quite fed up. I might as well be talking to a wall. I questioned him about a lot of cab rides. He just says he needs a ride. In all my panic. I take this man medicine because he's so sick he can't move. Then I go home. 2 days later. Which was yesterday. He shows up here. Then leaves because he's really sick. I check on him. Send him a few nice messages. He blows me off. Or constantly writes Huh? So I know he's not at all reading the messages I send. Dumb me. Thinks maybe he's just sleeping. No. I checked the bank. He's taking cab rides. It's the weekend of course. You're never too sick to get drunk and chase girls. I've had it. And I'm so upset. My body is fighting off every thing I take. I took anxiety pills, dramamine and ambien. Still haven't slept. Got up to water. Then still can't sleep. Got up to put laundry away. Nope. Cleaned the kitchen and mopped. Nope 😪. I can't take any more.
Posted 6/14/2015 4:03 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry you are going thru this, I say take some time and think about what YOU WANT!!! Do you want to stay married to a man that isn't respecting you? Maybe write a pro and con list. You have to think of yourself in this situation, being he is sick isn't a reason to do it cause he needs you, if he is taking cab rides and going out at night then he apparently isn't that sick. Think of yourself!! And in the meantime, take care of yourself too. Are you currently in therapy?
Posted 6/15/2015 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
Hi BKM,

It is so hard to know how to proceed...

I do know that you have worked very hard at your relationship thus far. You have given it and him every fair shot you could.

If you had a friend going through the same situation...and knowing all of the details about her realtionship, and what she has and is going through...how would you advise her?

Sometimes we become blind to just how far things have gone, or as A.L. mentioned, how to take care of ourselves.

Yes, lots of time to think and weigh your options and best move forward here is certainly in order.

Wishing you much perspictive. We care and want was is best for you and your little guys!

S.C.
Posted 6/15/2015 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
I'm just so lonely. And I feel so empty. And he's all I know and it's hard. If it was a friend Id say NEVER speak to him again! Stay away! Danger ahead!

It's just hard. And he continues to hurt me. Which should be more of a stay away! But like I said I'm lonely. And I don't want another person. I'm not ready. I have like 2 other guys that would be here in a heartbeat. But I'm scared. I just want comfort. 😪
Posted 6/15/2015 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
I'm Planning on heading out of town with the kids tomorrow. I'm having a battle with my phobia, mind and body. I don't want to disappoint my kids again
Posted 6/15/2015 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
BKM,

Prayers for your decision, and know that you are supported here either way. I know that it is so very difficult.

Thoughts and prayers also for your trip. I wish for you a relaxing and fun time away with your kids, with no fears regarding any of your phobias!

We are here for you!

S.C
Posted 6/18/2015 10:14 AM (GMT 0)
SC.
I was kind of fine. The thoughts never end. I had 2 bad panic attacks today. Then fine. Came back to my cousins house. I thought his daughter was sick. Me and my boys freaked out and started to leave. But I woke up his wife to see if the girl was ok. She was. But I got too scared. Kicked up my acid. Had my stomach in knots. Then bad reflux and burping. So now im laying in bed terrified.
Posted 6/18/2015 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
BKM,

I am glad you were able to go...that it great. :) Well done!

There is bound to be some fallout...

You pushed yourself to be able to make the trip, and expanded your comfort zone for sure...

...while this is great progress, it can also set us up for feeling nervous after the fact.

Use your coping skills to get through this day. You can do it! I am seeing lots of good gain in what you are posting.:)

Hugs and high fives!

S.C.
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