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Venting about not being understood

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Posted 6/15/2015 6:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hi. Just need a venting outlet.

I was having lunch with my mom, her sister, and some friends and the topic of mental illness came up. My mom said, "I feel for people who struggle with those issues. Not you; people with real problems." I should be happy that she doesn't see me as having an illness and take that as an indicator that I am coping well. But it hurt. I know I am 30 years old and the opinion of my mother shouldn't be that important, but it still hurts that she doesn't understand how hard I have to fight just to get out of bed in the morning. And it hurts that she just throws my disorder out there flippantly for everyone else to disregard as well. I have dealt with anxiety all my life and have, many times, fallen into the trap of telling myself there is really nothing wrong and that I'm just not as good at living as everyone else, that I'm just not working as hard as I should and am just selfishly trying to be different from everyone else. I tell myself quite frequently that my anxiety isn't real - so it shouldn't hurt for my mom to tell people that it isn't real. It has been almost 12 years since I lived with her, but she should still know. It still hurts.
Posted 6/15/2015 6:28 AM (GMT 0)
Lani, unfortunately those who have never had a panic attack or lived with anxiety have no clue what it is
like to deal with it, this also go's for doctors, i have seen so many that only know this or that medicine should work for this symptom, but people are not mice and sometimes the doctor needs insight they do
not have, you are still young Lani and one day you will be well, dont forget, many will need the right words
to give comfort and hope, I wish You Peace.

Larry ***
Posted 6/15/2015 8:39 AM (GMT 0)
Yes Lani, I agree with you and Larry!
Unfortunately, they have no idea about what we are going through and how we feel. But that is very normal as they've never experienced such thing in their lives. It hurts but when you look at it from their perspective, it's understandable.

In such situations I just say this to them "You can always develop this issue which I am struggling with - also which you don't take serious - you can develop it anytime in your lifetime. And at this moment, I am praying that you won't..."
And I don't discuss it further, because they never understand.

Please take care of yourself and know that we understand you, support you <3
Posted 6/15/2015 1:20 PM (GMT 0)
Many of my brothers battling Prostate Cancer get to hear: "At least you got the good cancer."

hmmmmm. Is there such a thing as Good Cancer... PC kills 30,000 + men a year.

So Lani, I can feel your pain.
Posted 6/15/2015 1:47 PM (GMT 0)
It doesn't matter how old you are, if your mother is insensitive to your issues, it hurts.

You can't compare one person's battle with that of another. Yours is just as real and difficult for you as anyone else's. You can't quantify it.
Posted 6/15/2015 2:27 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome Back la5ni I see you haven't posted since February. I hope over all you are doing okay. I'm sorry your mom said that, and heck yes it hurt. I know I would of been hurt by something like that. You are right to feel the way you do, perhaps you can find an article on the internet about anxiety and what it is like to live with and share that with your mom, I would hope she would read it and understand what you are going thru is as real as anyone else with a mental illness.
Posted 6/15/2015 8:02 PM (GMT 0)
L.,

You have received great support and validation so far...so I will just add my own!

You give so much care to others everyday, that you deserve the same sensitivity!

We understand, so keep talking with us anytime you need to vent.

S.C.

Posted 6/17/2015 5:01 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the posts.

I have a hard time knowing when to fight and when to just let things slide.
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