Anxiety about MS

In the last week I have had more physical symptoms. Not necessarily new symptoms, but old ones that I have not had in some time (burning headaches, muscle fatigue, muscle soreness, sunburn sensation on skin).

When these symptoms come up I get into frightened google mode and begin wondering if it is MS.

I've had a spinal tap and an MRI (which one unexplained lesion was found), but it's all wait and see with the doctors I have seen.

I'm not quite sure why a concrete diagnosis seems, in my mind, like it would help me. I don't want anything to be wrong with me!!
But I guess just the idea of knowing what I am dealing with and being told, "this is what we do for x y & z" seems comforting.

I also get this idea in my head that the longer I am undiagnosed, the worse whatever is wrong with me will be later because we weren't actively treating it asap.

It's been 3 years of this and I can really remember well having what felt like a normal healthy adult mind and body - without anxiety and whatever else this may be. And I miss that.

I am sorry you are in that frightened searching mode Searching1. I get that way too sometimes w/o what you are dealing with. It is completely different but having PTSD; I often go into a panic over something that triggers a past memory fear. I did the beginning stage of that tonight. I was on my way out with a friend to keep my mind off of me, when a familiar face from the past went by. A young woman who's child I cared for in my daycare a couple of years ago. She is an addict who has undergone Hep C treatment and sense relapsed; loosing her child. I knew where she was headed-to a nearby drug dealers. As I rode by I couldn't stop myself from turning around to go back and try to 'save; her from the walk into that door. (Something I tried to do for 15 years with my own son; who himself has been in recovery for two and a half years but now has Hep C himself.) Too late, she had already gone in; and reality struck-I can't fix this. I drove away. A few miles down the road and almost to my friends; and a flashing ambulance comes in my direction. The direction from where my son lives. I swallowed my heart. He has had two car accidents this month-hitting deers on the way home from a night job. 'Breath' , I say to myself. It is not him. I pray for my thoughts to be made right; and continue on, thinking, I can't do this anymore. Everywhere I go I am slammed with sad or fearful reminders of my past life experiences.' I met my friend and shared what I had experienced to get it off of my mind. I felt better and was able to receive what she needed to share. No doubt it will happen again...but I will get better at it and learn to control 'it-the fear; and not let 'it' control me. You will too... Fear is fear and whether it is about you or another it is frightening and uncomfortable.
I am also a very sensitive person and feel every little ache and symptom of any ailment or treatment. I am trying not to google-it is dangerous for me.......You'll be in my thoughts-you are not alone.

Hey Searching, I tend to have the same symptoms from time to time.
I totally relate, not knowing what's happening there. Actually this is the main problem with our way of thinking :) not being able to tolerate the uncertainty.

First of all, an unexplained thing they found doesn't necessarily mean that it is a serious thing. Your symptoms can also be anxiety related since you mentioned you are not on any antidepressant.

Second, diagnosing MS alone is a very tough thing to do and it can take very long time. That's the reason why drs are waiting for it a while more before being certain and naming the reason for sure. MS medication requires different types of medicines at the same time and I guess one shouldn't start it before knowing 100% sure.

Third and last, do not be afraid of MS :) treatments today are extremely effective and MS is quite much possible to manage for a lifetime.

Keep calm and try coping skills. Since you are having yourself checked up, if there is something there, they are gonna find the reason soon I'm sure.

Sending positivity

Thank you very much Rrakkma!

It really does help to hear all of your encouragement and reassurance.

I feel better today and am forcing myself to have a do nothing day - just R & R and maybe some spoiling of myself :)