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Mind is being stubborn

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Posted 7/30/2015 6:42 PM (GMT 0)
It is Thursday and it's been rough week. Between work stress, getting ready to leave on vacation Sunday morning, my anxiety has been through the roof. I've had like 3 panic attacks this week which is very unusual for me. I feel anxiety symptoms a lot but full on attacks are rare. The pounding heart and skipped beats and GERD/heartburn have intensified. Despite my knowing better, I again convince myself that it's heart trouble. I keep doing breathing, have watched a mindful video but my head seems to say "nice, but I'm still here". The anticipation of going on vacation has me excited so I have been waking up a couple of times during the night which isn't like me at all. Why can't my head and heart just get along and anxiety take a hike? I'm tired of feeling wound up like a kid's toy and just want to be able to relax.
Posted 7/30/2015 7:36 PM (GMT 0)
I recently had a few days of bad anxiety and I always think the best thing to do is to break the Anxiety with a Benzo like Xanax. It gives your body and mind a rest from the stress and sometimes gives you some strength to fight back at your anxiety. Sometimes you need to take some meds. It's just the reality of the situation unfortunately.

I have a hard time when I am in severe anxiety to calm myself using coping methods. Once I am relaxed on a Benzo I can concentrate much better on coping methods.

Hope you feel better soon
Posted 7/30/2015 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
I feel for you... whenever I have a lot of stressors in my life, my anxiety always shows up and brings my irrational thinking with it.

When you start scaring yourself with your thoughts, can you switch your mind to think about how fun the vacation is going to be? I know it's hard when you have physical symptoms that seem to back up your mind's claims, but (you know) that's just the anxiety talking, and anxiety is a liar!

Popping a benzo sounds like a good idea, too.
Posted 7/30/2015 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
I do take Ativan as needed and half been using the smallest dose possible and only when I really need it. It takes the edge off for me.
Posted 7/30/2015 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
Sweet,

Ohhhhh, I really wish you could enjoy the excitement of your upcoming trip!!! I will tell you what I have found lately. My head has been having a hard time deciphering between excitement and anxiety. I think I was so used to having adrenaline rushes from anxiety (during my bout) that now when I feel any kind of adrenaline (even if it's from excitement), it ends up turning into anxiety.

I hope you have a wonderful time on vacay. Am inremembering correctly that you are going to Hawaii????
Posted 7/30/2015 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
MSP,

I am so sorry this has been such a rough week! I too just want youi to be able to enjoy your vacation...you so deserve it!

Great job on trying to decompress, and keep up with your coping skills...they are helping, even if it seems otherwise.

Hopefully once you get everything squared away and you are ready to go...

...you will be able to leave all the stress behind, and the physical symptoms will vanish...

...and you'll just have a wonderful trip full of peace and calm.;)

Stay postive and hopeful!

S.C.
Posted 7/30/2015 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
Mom, I know you're right. I am very excited, possibly overly excited and on an emotional high. To top it off, today is my birthday and all my family/friends on Facebook and texting have been sending me messages all day. Doesn't matter how old you are, it makes you feel like a kid again. Happy and giddy. I know I'm just running on what feels like an adrenaline overdose right now. The anxiety and adrenaline are duking it out. Once I sit down on the plane Sunday morning, I'll hopefully sleep some. I can't usually sleep on a plane, but we'll see.
Posted 7/30/2015 10:25 PM (GMT 0)
Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful trip.
Posted 7/31/2015 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Happy happy birthday MSP!!!

I am sending wishes of peace and happiness for your year!

...and party down tonight! ;)

S.C.
Posted 7/31/2015 10:21 AM (GMT 0)
I have the same exact experiences, anxiety and excitement, difficulty deciphering between the two and excitement turning into anxiety. Between my therapist, my Zoloft and Buspar and Klonipin (only when absolutely needed) and my coping skills such as meditation, exercise, eating right, etc. I have learned to deal it.

I don't know what time zone you are in but I'm on the east coast and I traveled to Hawaii 2 years ago. The long flight + time zone change really kicked my anxiety/excitement into high gear that took months to recover from. Of course, this was before I started my meds and therapy. I feel much more equipped to handle another repeat trip to Hawaii which I'm planning on. This time though I will fly to the west coast, spend a few days there to get used to the time difference and break up the 11 hour flight from the east coast to Hawaii and then fly on to Hawaii. I don't know if this was ever experienced by anyone else, but I wanted to share what I encountered.

Regardless of my anxiety 2 years ago, it was a wonderful trip and Hawaii is like no other place I've ever visited and I have been to many places around the world. I'm looking forward to going again.

Try to relax (I know, easier said than done) and just focus on what a wonderful time you will have!
Posted 7/31/2015 10:53 AM (GMT 0)
Hope you had a wonderful Birthday, Panda! And a great vacation to look forward to and enjoy!
I get anxious before a trip too, usually preoccupied with all the little things I have to do. Then once I'm on the plane I take a deep breath and . . . ."ahhhhhhhhh" I can just kinda let go. Sometimes it is nice to think of a vacation (kinda like in the movie "What about Bob") as a vacation from all your worries. How lucky you are that you can go on a nice summer trip. Enjoy the spirit of Aloha! It's a magical, healing place :)
Posted 7/31/2015 12:39 PM (GMT 0)
Happy birthday Panda!!!

And have a wonderful trip. I'm sure, once you get on that plane, you will get some sleep and feel refreshed when you land. Have an awesome time!!
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