I'm back from the hospital woo hoo! Anxiety meds question!

Im baccck! Had a doozy of a panic attack abut a week ago where I felt I wanted to die, I simply uttered the word suicide to the ER doc (didn't actually contemplate or want to kill myself but told the doctor I had a fleeting thought), anyway bad move because by law in Florida they can hold me against my will for 72 hours at a mental facility for treatment. So I got put in a facility with schizos, recovering addicts, really depressed people, crazy people, and people just like myself with crazy anxiety. Im still feeling out of it but I will tell you that spending time in a place like that really makes you realize that there are many many people a lot worse off than we are.

The facility gave me a chance to rest, think, reflect. Maybe I need some medication to stabilize my racing mind so that I can focus on learning and applying the skills I need to focus on. I am no longer ashamed about needing some medication. However, my situation is not everyone's. I met people from all walks of life...soldiers, teachers, bankers, etc that were all fighting individual battles with anxiety, PTSD, depression, and addiction. It was eye opening.

Anyway, it seems that the 20 mg of Lexapro my doc gave me is finally starting to kick in after about 4 weeks. I started with 5 mg, then my doctor told me to bump it to 10 mg, and a week ago he bumped me to 20 mg, so I have only been on 20 mg for about a week. Hopefully it keeps up and continues to gain steam. I havent had a panic attack in about 3 days, so maybe its the Lexapro, but my sleep has still been a bit rough so my dr. prescribed 50 mg of Trazodone and also prescribed Ativan (2 mg) tablets and told me he only wanted me to use it if I felt I was having a major panic attack.

I was thinking about only taking 0.5 mg of the Ativan if needed. I have always been the type of person that is very selective of what I put in my body, so Im wondering what I can expect from the Ativan and Trazodone, obviously everyone is different but I just wanted to know your thoughts.

Im 6'2, 290 lbs, so I am a big dude, im wondering if 0.5 mg will even cause a tickle but because its about brain chemistry I dont thin body mass will matter as much. I just dont want to take 2 mg...Im planning on heading back to work on Monday (after a week off) so Im wondering if I should try 0.5 mg before Monday just to see how the Ativan affects me.

Hey TKG,

Just curious as to the facility they put you in, were you allowed to get up and move around or was it more a scary place that you never want to be back in?

-AK

alohaknown said...
Hey TKG,

Just curious as to the facility they put you in, were you allowed to get up and move around or was it more a scary place that you never want to be back in?

-AK

Hey alohaknown, It wasn't that bad to be honest, but it was pretty scary for the first few hours, especially because I have never been in a place like that and all I could think of was wanting to be home with my wife and son. My wife almost punched the ER doctor in the face when he said he was going to detain me and send me there.

Anyway, they did not lock the doors of the rooms but the section of the building I was in was essentially locked down. They allowed us smoke breaks, so we were allowed to go to a garden/courtyard and be outside. I don't smoke so I used the opportunity to just walk around outside. The food wasn't too bad, but the rooms and everything in the building was very old, rundown, and not really well taken care of. It wasn't dirty or anything, it was just really...I guess you could say everything was just bland. I could tell the hospital was pretty underfunded. The rooms were numbered but they couldn't actually afford numbers so they were numbered with post it notes with the room number written with a sharpie.

The beds were basically like a big inflatable cushion with white sheets over them. There was a TV room where everyone would sit and watch crappy TV shows because they only allowed us to watch Animal Planet, Cartoon Network, or the Weather Channel. Some of the nurses and techs were very helpful, nice, and courteous. The therapists were all pretty nice, the psychiatrists however all seemed like the types that simply loved to prescribe meds. One told me I was bipolar which my own psychiatrist, who has known me for over 10 years basically scoffed at since she was with me no more than 5 minutes when she made that diagnosis.

The group sessions were actually pretty helpful. So I liked those because it gave me a chance to weed out who were the real nutters and who were people that I could actually talk to in order to not get bored out of my mind. It was really a mix of people. Mostly people with addiction problems. Some people with depression, others with anxiety, and some older people with what seemed like dementia. I would never want to go back. But it wasn't the worst experience in the world. However, one of the patients told me that the place I went to was like a 5 star hotel compared to some state run facilities....so I would hate to see those.

alohaknown said...
Hey TKG,

Did you have chronic anxiety which is why you went on lexapro or was it for something else? Only reason I ask because I'm in the same boat and I'm waiting till Monday to see my P-Doc to start taking medication but I've been scared as hell because of stories like yours of panic attacks. I've had fleeting "Suicidal thoughts" but its because of the overwhelming feeling that anxiety and depression can give you. I feel like if I snap that I'll be put into a stray jacket where I'll never see my family again. Do you mind elaborating what the facility was like?

Sorry Mods if i'm digging to deep I'm just curious as to what its like. If this isn't appropriate please do let me know.

Hey alohaknown, well my story is bit more complicated. A little over 10 years ago I had a vestibular issue which caused me a lot of vertigo. It was an actual medical issue that had me feeling intense dizziness for about 3 months. Unfortunately it was the onset of my generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I eventually saw a psychiatrist (who has been my doc since then) and he put me on Lexapro. He put me on Zoloft initially but I had really bad light headedness and felt like a zombie. I tried to overcome my anxiety without meds and started doing a CBT program. It helped but I was still having pretty bad panic attacks every week. So I decided to try meds again. My doc put me on Lexapro and long story short, along with CBT, it was a life saver for me.

I spent 10 years pretty much recovered. Graduated from college, held multiple good jobs, had girlfriends, eventually met my wife, had a kid, on and on. A year and a half ago I got off the meds because I thought didnt need them anymore and low and behold, here I am with panic attacks and anxiety again. I don't know if the anxiety was caused by coming off the meds or if it had to do with some other stressors in my life like work, the new baby, etc....but its back and I told my doctor so he suggested I get back on Lexapro. Im feeling a lot better but not after I had few pretty bad panic attacks.

I had the same fleeting suicidal thoughts you mentioned in the midst of a panic attack and they scared the crap out of me. They were simply brought on by how desperate I was feeling not because I was actually considering it. That's the difference though...if you really feel like you would go through with it or have actually made plans to do it then I would definitely say you should seek help.

Look, all I can say is that you will not "snap" because of the panic and anxiety. It simply feels that way. Also, don't worry about them putting you in a straight jacket and hauling you away for the rest of your life. The most I got hauled away for was 3 days. And while it sucked it was the law here because I mentioned I had fleeting "suicidal thoughts" to the ER doc.

If you get on the right med with your P-doc you will feel better, it takes some time to get the dosage and drug just right but hang in there. In the mean time try to do some meditation, breathing exercises, etc...

You are not going to snap alohaknown, you will get through this. It may not seem like that right now, but you will. I have been where you are and actually have been to the place you fear most. Nothing is as bad as you fear. That is just your anxiety playing tricks on you. Let me know if I can help you with anything else.

Post Edited (TheKickboxingGuy) : 8/21/2015 3:04:01 PM (GMT-6)

Hi

Trazadone should definitely help you sleep as it has strong sedative effects.

I have taken it in the past but did not like it as it gave me a hangover effect in the morning that lasted into the afternoon so I stopped taking it but it did help me sleep.

Hibee

Thanks Hibee and SC!

Been feeling a lot better these last few days. I definitely feel like the Lexapro is kicking in and starting to help out. But I know overcoming this anxiety will also take some work on my part. So time to start doing some more meditation and breathing exercises....I have been slacking.

I havent taken the Ativan or Trazodone cause extra meds scare me. But I have the Ativan if I absolutely need it. Still want to get through this without the benzos though.

I went to church today with my wife and son...I had some moderate anxiety for a few minutes but then it went away. I just tried to float with it.

The service was good because it was about fear and that what we fear usually never as bad as we think it is. Perfect message for an anxious dude like me ha ha!

Im nervous about going back to work on Monday but my coworkers are phenomenal and incredibly supportive. I think what bothers me the most about work really is the commute. Its an hour drive so, its a lot of times for me to be with my thoughts.

Ill get through it, I know I will. I appreciate the support.

Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear of your ordeal....my nightmare! Xanax helped me allot last time I suffered with panic/agoraphobia (i've had a relapse), it helped take the edge off so I could use my coping skills better. I found if I used it as I faced my fears, one of which was going back to work, I found that after a few weeks, I wasn't using it any more, it just happened. I used to be afraid of meds, and had it for months before I used it, but it's a great short term tool. Ativan does work better for me, but my doctor won't prescribe for me. I know it helps allot, because I've had allot of surgeries and medical hospital stays, and they've given me ativan for my anxiety. I've also been prescribed Trazodone for sleep, and it did help. I like Nyquil, Benadryl, or Advil PM the best though. ;-)

Hey KBG, welcome back!

I may have misunderstood this part, so sorry if you have taken Ativan before, but my advice about the Ativan is to not take it "just to see how you react", because if you're not panicking, it will probably just make you sleepy. And I agree, if you do decide to take it, try a small dose of it first and if that doesn't help, take a little more. Taking benzos isn't the healthiest thing in the long run, but they really, really help with panic attacks.

-Cat