Obsessive .. please help

Tryingtohavehope

Regular Member

Joined : Aug 2015

Posts : 51

Posted 10/5/2015 12:28 AM (GMT 0)

I haven't been on in awhile. I am somewhat better than I was a month ago with anxiety and depression but still struggling a lot. I ended a short relationship with one of my friends I was dating about 3 weeks ago. I felt like I was trapped and couldn't function when I was with him. I think it was more of an attachment than anything else. We still talk and I've seen him in our group of frIends last week. I have felt after we stopped dating that I was obsessed and putting him in a pedestal and this feeling continued when I saw him last week. I have been obsessive and think about him nonstop and whether he's going to text me, like my Facebook statuses...etc I will do anything to get his attention. But I know this is a fantasy for me because I was miserable in a relationship with him. I have a few events coming up with that group of friends and he will be there. I don't want to miss events because of this but I need to find a way to stop these irrational thoughts and obsessions. I've learned I need to make myself happy and be comfortable with myself before I can be with anyone but I am struggling so much and feel stuck. I am In therapy and on 150mg of zoloft. I try self talk but it's so hard when your brain takes over. This obsession and fixation is causing me anxiety and depression bc I feel very stuck. Anyone have any advice? Please!!!

Scaredy Cat

Elite Member

Joined : Sep 2006

Posts : 28868

Posted 10/5/2015 12:51 AM (GMT 0)

TTHH,

I know this difficult place you find yourself in currently. With plenty of relationships, both good...and not go great previous to my marriage...I have been on both sides of this on more than one occasion.

It is great that you are working on yourself at this time, and seeking to be whole and healthy for your future relationships! So feel good about this! ;)

For now, you will need time to get past this break up...as well as keeping your life as full and purposeful as possible. The more fulfilled you feel in your self, the less you will need outside things to validate you.

This is a goal I myself have been working on...not in terms of a specific relationship...but in general!

Peace and progress,

S.C.

cilly

Veteran Member

Joined : Aug 2014

Posts : 1620

Posted 10/6/2015 4:24 AM (GMT 0)

Hi TTHH,
I know how you feel trapped but believe me you will do better.

You take charge of your emotional being and now know how and what you felt.
Our emotions tell us what is right from wrong.
So don't worry ,it's just. Infusing in beginning as you always saw "we " and never "I" but once your feelings are validated ,you won't feel lonely at events .
Keep on going to therapy and eat medications on time.
Keep talking here it will help you feel better.
Good luck!

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