Posted 12/12/2015 6:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all,
So I took a few weeks off from the forum. I had just started lexapro and was in a very bad place with my health anxiety and panic. A few days ago, I found myself happy, literally just felt happy and then the negative thinking began. Why am I happy now but I couldn't be happy at other times over the past year? I began to analyze the "why am I's" and soon, that glimmer of just random happiness disappeared and the physical symptoms returned ( dizziness, feeling flushed, pins and needles, trembling hands) and I began to monitor these symptoms instead of enjoying my life ( which I began to finally do).
Yesterday, my husband and I went christmas shopping and decided to run into Cracker barrrel to grab a bite to eat. I was already feeling on edge and I told him so, this only was exacerbated when we went inside and literally it was packed wall to wall. We were sat in front of a table of screaming children and within about three minutes, I looked up and found the room spinning. I quickly ran to the car where I took a xanax and cried. It was the first time in a LONG time I actually had to run out of a place because my panic attack was so severe. I was embarrassed for myself and my husband..
Today, I feel obsessed with trying to figure out how I am slipping back into these panic cycles, why these physical symptoms are manifesting.. I feel like a failure. I just feel so dizzy and shaky. I've tried to keep myself busy with cleaning etc, however, I'm consumed with why do I feel so dizzy, shaky, wobbly today and cannot seem to get myself to good place.
Every time I feel a medication is working for me, suddenly I experience a bout like the past few days which seem to push me back pretty far. It is disheartening and really hard.