Anxiety, Depression or Long term side effect of Antidepressant???

Hi - I'm new to HealingWell but I was drawn to it right away because it seemed much more REAL than some of the other forums or groups I've taken a look at.

So, I was diagnosed with an anxiety/panic disorder over 20 years ago when I was in college.
I avoided medication for years and years. However, the anxiety eventually got to a point that I had to try the medication. I've been on Lexapro for about 13 years, currently at 20mg a day, I spent some time as low as 10mg a day. I was also on Klonopin for about 12 years at .5mg per day (not typically ever day).
The meds helped me a lot for a number of years but about 2 1/2 years ago my anxiety stepped up to a new level and the meds weren't really helping much. I've done some CBT and recently IFS therapy to help stabilize things but there is something that I'm struggling with that I can't seem to shake or get a good answer for.

For the last 2-3 years I've noticed that my level of enjoyment of things and my experience of smells, sights, and sounds all just seem to be muted to some extent. I remember smelling the Fall leaves or the Spring breezes and having good feelings/memories rush back in. Or maybe it would be the smell of good meal I enjoyed. Even when my anxiety was high these feelings would still come back to some extent. Or, it could have been holiday music or another song that I enjoyed that would bring back these feelings, etc. Well, over the last couple of years I feel like I'm missing that. Recently I've had little blinks of it but that almost makes me more anxiously because I realize how long it has been missing. I've seen write-ups on anhedonia, etc. and maybe that is something I'm experiencing but trying to diagnose myself certainly isn't working out too well. My doc feels as though I'm overanalyzing my feelings and thoughts so much that I'm unable to allow these old feelings to come in and I believe that too some extent. But, I feel like something else is going on. Can an SSRI like Lexapro dull or mute everything over time?

If anyone has had similar experiences or any suggestions it would be great to hear them.

Thanks!

Post Edited (anxiousbb) : 2/23/2016 7:19:16 AM (GMT-7)

Hi AB and welcome!

I am sorry you are experiencing this troubling state. It is understandable how this would be upsetting!

I would really consider the possibility of depression...as what you describe can be classic signs. Decreased interest/enjoyment of things that previously brought positive feelings. Diminished sense of experience and dulling of stimuli.

It is great that you have done, and are in therapy currently...well done! Have you worked on depressive issues...or just anxiety?

We have some really good self help material to get started on while you wait for a consult/med eval with your doctor.

Find our Resources at the top of the main forum page here. (1st thread) Moodgym is a great on-line program that it very beneficial for the issues your post describes...and of course there is great coping material for anxiety as well.

Keep us posted as to your progress and we will be here to cheer you on.:) We understand, care and support is key!

Talk soon,

Scaredy Cat

AB,

That is fantastic, the success you've had with the app! Keep up the good work.:)

As far as your question...yes, both are possible. 13 yrs on any given SSRI is a really good run! They are known to 'poop out' (medical term, lol!) for inexplicable reasons after a time.

...so what you could be dealing with is a situational depression due to the ineffective state of your Rx. I can't say for sure of course...but this is something to discuss with your doctor to be sure.

Let us know what you find out, and what your plan is so we can keep you in support!

S.C.

Yes, I will check it out!

We usually like to keep our recommendations/Resources no-cost...but it is worth looking at...

...and could be a less expensive alternative for those not able to go through therapy...

S.C.