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Posted 5/19/2016 3:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone, hi SC,

I loss my husband last april 24 and here I am today struggling from anxiety,stress and depression. I love my husband so much, he is my life he is my everything. I did everything to take care of him. I have been there to him almost every day of his life for 8yrs we have been together. Even I did everything to save his health if God's decision that his time it's his time, I really believe on that. I know he is no more in pain and sorrow he is happy now with God but I am broken everyday.. But anyway, I tried to go out everyday with a friend and try to distract myself and doing some exercise to lift my mood up but still these illness never leave me.. I am hoping someday I will be back on my self again. Now that I am a widow and no children I have more time to myself to enjoy life again with out thinking of anybody. And I know that's what my husband want it to me anyway to live life to the fullest. And be happy. Oh I miss him terribly.. I can't believe I loss my best friend. I called my sister to pick me up and stay to there house even just for 10days. I am hoping I won't get homesick and my anxiety will be good to me. I want to explore outside my comfort zone. Brought my alprazolam just Incase I need it.. Make me comfortable anyway if I have it with me.. Wish me luck guys that I can stay longer outside my comfort zone.. I don't want to stuck up here and scared of everything.
Posted 5/19/2016 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
Oh Bik...I am so very sorry! :(

I wish I could just give you a hug right now.

You have gone through a devastating loss....and I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you.

You are being incredibly brave...and I am amazed at your strength right now!

Give yourself time to heal...this is still very new, and the stages of grief must be walked through...but I have no doubt you will do it with time and the support of friends and family.

I hope you have a good visit with your sister. I think it is a good idea to go and be among your family who loves you now. You need to be surrounded with comfort for this time.

Having increased anxiety is natural now of course. Know that it will not always be this difficult.

We are here for you as well...so post anytime and as often as you need to.

With much sympathy my dear friend,

S.C.

p.s. feel free to e-mail me anytime if you need to talk.
Posted 5/19/2016 5:03 AM (GMT 0)
Bik, i think that everything you are feeling is perfectly normal for someone who just lost the Love of their life. As you have stated you are trying to move forward and all one can do is build on one day at
a time. Time is the answer, it is the medicine that will make all things come into their own. You are stronger than you think, you will see, just stick your big toe into the water of life, it can be endured,
take the plunge when you are ready, then remember
"We need not fear the storm, but we must learn to dance in the rain",
I Pray for your Peace.

Larry ***
Posted 5/19/2016 7:31 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you SC and Larry, i didnt expect that after his 2nd heart surgery year 2014, he will live for 10yrs again but i was wrong. God only knows why he took my husband from me. I am happy that he is no longer in pain and i accept that he is gone but i miss him so bad. Im here now with my sister and good news i drove for 2hrs actually i gave up driving since i had panic attack last 2yrs ago. I am scared to drive alone again. I am fine sometime to drive as long as im with somebody or the person is forcing me to go drive like what my sister did to me tonight, she force me to drive, i have to face my fear. I have lots of fear, fear that to be alone in the house or drive alone or just cane out from nowhere my heart is going nuts for no reason and my nervouseness is high too.. What do you guys suggest for heart palpitations is racing high? Or being nervous being alone in the house? Pls give me some advice. I dont want to rely to everybody to take care of me. Or wherever they go i will go to because im sacred to be alone. I really need to get back on track
Posted 5/19/2016 7:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Bik

So sorry to hear of your loss.

I agree with Larry take one day at a time and it's good you have people who are supporting you and keep us posted here as well so we can also help support you through this tough time.

Hibee
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