obsessive thinking and feeling that it'll never go away

okay so i'm new with this and i'm very bad at explaining things so stay with me while i try to express myself.

about a month ago, actually a little over a month ago, i had a huge panic attack/breakdown at like 5 in the morning, before that i was completely fine and it was just another night the only thing that was bothering me was my friend was having problems with his depression and stuff and was afraid that he'd do something irrational even though i knew he was safe and that he was going to be okay.

but because of this panic attack I was up the rest of the night and when I calmed down and tried going back to sleep I ended up getting back up and feeling extremely overwhelmed and anxious. The next day I tried nyquil during the day and that worked for about 2 hours. And then Midol that night. I didn't get much sleep that night either because I had terrible vivid nightmares (probably because of the midol because I heard that was a side effect). Long story short I lost a couple days of decent sleep. it was usually 2-3 hours each night.

My sleeping has gotten better but of course some nights are worse than others mostly because of unwanted thoughts.

Additional information: Im 17 and going to college in a few weeks.
I did my senior project on schizophrenia and I guess that's when the fear actually started but I had a distraction ( which was school ) so I could brush it off as irrational and not think about it again.

So BASICALLY, since the panic attack I have developed a fear of developing schizophrenia, or losing control, or even feeling this way for the rest of my life, I've been experiencing DP/DR and questioning EVERY SINGLE THING I DO. Even when I feel normal I question it and I just want this feeling to go away. Of course I know that all of these are irrational but I am still afraid and I've read tons of forums and they're all comforting for a short amount of time mainly because I feel like I need advice personally I think.

I really do need help but I don't have the money to see a doctor or go on medication or to see a therapist.

Post Edited (Autumnhayley) : 7/27/2016 9:26:59 PM (GMT-6)

Hi

Welcome to the forum you will find good support here.

Sorry to hear you have been dealing with anxiety/panic it is hard to deal with and can really take over your life but the good news is lots can be done to help and speaking with others who can relate is a good starting point.

CBT works really well at treating anxiety have a look at www.moodgym.com which is a free online CBT course that you can work through at your own pace. Also look into Mindfulness Meditation this works wonders and there are loads of videos on youtube and free Apps available for your phone which talk you through it.

Keep posting with us.

Hibee

Hi there and welcome!

Reading your post took me back to when I was where you are now. I felt like I could have written some of those points like the intense derealization, fear of going crazy, and insomnia. I too, at the very end of high school, had real reason to worry HUGELY for a friend and it made me incredibly anxious, even though the cause of the worry was long since past and it was irrational to still be freaking out over it. My anxiety lasted for weeks and it got to the point that was I so weak and sleep deprived that I thought I was dying and had to go to the ER. Now how many kids can say they spent move-in day in the ER instead of in the dorms? This girl right here!

I second SC's advice on seeking free counseling at your school. I found it extremely helpful. The people there are wonderful. Go until you feel more in control, but make sure to check it on occasion. Anxiety can come and go at the most inopportune times.

Having your world flip-turned upside down can do a number on your mental well-being and bring up some preexisting issues or create new ones. College is wondrous limbo where you're an adult but not quite and you can work on finding yourself. Overall, I would say the experiences ahead of you are overwhelmingly positive. Do your best, make good friends, and find yourself! And don't worry too much at this point about knowing exactly what you want to do in life. I'm a graduate student and what I want to do changes with every new thing I learn. (and the existential thoughts don't really go away, they just become less distracting.)

Good luck!