HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Pushy relative makes me anxious

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 8/19/2016 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
My sister and I are planning to bring a birthday dinner to my father for his 90th birthday. I'm the little sister. Always overshadowed by her. I do stand up to her now and then but it's not worth it.

So, we're planning the meal. I like a give and take, talk about it style. She gave me 3 menu options and thinks 'that's it' My plan is to make food my father loves, not food she wants him to eat.

She wants a fancy expensive ice cream cake that isn't that good if you ask me. She won't back down. He would prefer a homemade pie and some ice cream.

I could go on but I just gave up and am letting her do what she needs to. Of course she is huffy with me and puts me down.

Story of my life.
Posted 8/19/2016 8:01 PM (GMT 0)
Tela,

I'm sorry...I'm a little sister as well, so I know what you mean in some ways...

It's a shame your sister is so instant on pushing her own agenda even though it may not be in your dad's interest. :/

One thing that you could do is to go straight to your dad first...and get his preference, so you could say, "This is what dad wants."

I hope you can find resolution in this matter...and have the most enjoyable celebration for your father!!

S.C.
Posted 8/19/2016 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
Good to hear you know what it's like being the little sister.....

I did ask my mom/dad what he loves most for a meal and it isn't what my sister thought was fancy enough so she ignored him.

That's what she does.
Posted 8/19/2016 8:30 PM (GMT 0)
Perhaps you could enjoy the celebration her way, then treat your Dad to a meal another day?
Not sure if there may be travel involved that would make this a difficult option.
Posted 8/19/2016 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
I was thinking the same thing Rspwed!

could you...just have a second...(and better!) party if that's feasible...?
Posted 8/19/2016 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
No 2nd party. He is in a very fragile state at his age and he's not fun to be around. He has dementia and a host of other health issues. There is some travel involved too.

Makes me sad that she took over and I have to comply and she is bringing a chicken dish that I don't think he likes, it has mustard in it.
Posted 8/19/2016 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
Such a shame...:(

Well, you will make his birthday enjoyable in its own way for him...just by being there.

Know that you are doing what is within your control...and let go of the rest that you can't. ..that is on your sister.

Sending you peace...and your dad birthday wishes.

S.C.
Posted 8/19/2016 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe you can just contribute a pie as a surprise gift.
Posted 8/20/2016 12:18 AM (GMT 0)
^^^That is another GREAT idea!!!
Posted 8/20/2016 10:20 AM (GMT 0)
I like the pie idea. He could eat that later as he pleases. It's a treat for him and me saying that I can do things my way too.
Posted 8/20/2016 1:12 PM (GMT 0)
Exactly. Either way, do your best to enjoy it.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply