Hello and welcome!
I am sorry to hear of your longtime struggle with this fear. It is understandable, as everyone has somewhat of an aversion to the subject...
...but certainly it can get to the level of disruption and quality of life for many. We do have several members here at various degrees and places of recovery in their journey with emet issues. So I am sure you will be hearing from them soon.
What if anything have you tried thus far for relief? If you give us a little more information on your management story, we can better know what to recommend.
You have come to the right place for understanding and support...so keep posting. We understand and care.
Scaredy Cat