Posted 4/17/2017 4:44 AM (GMT 0)
Hello all!
I hope everyone reading this is doing well. I've missed chatting/posting with you all.
For those not familiar with me, I've had issues with GAD for about the past two years. This seems to stem from my aunt, uncle, and father all passing with heart related issues. Aunt/uncle were both extremely unhealthy, so a heart attack was not a surprise. My father was a runner and the pinnacle of health. Didn't eat red meat, ran 5 miles a day, and just overall a health nut. His death was a huge surprise, and we're still not sure what caused it, though doctors seem to think it was some sort of electrical disorder with his heart.
After all of this, I have been extremely scared of dying due to heart failure. I've had CTA Angiogram, echocardiogram, stress tests, ekgs, literally EVERYTHING to test for issues. I've come through them being told I'm fine and in great heart health. Still, anxiety rears it's ugly head at times.
Around November or so last year, I started experiencing panic attacks. Until this point, I have never had them. I started seeing a psychiatrist and was put on medication. 5mg Lexapro to start and corroborated with Lorazepam if I needed it. Since then, I've been bumped up to 10mg Lexapro and now on 20mg. Been on 20mg for about 2-3 weeks, so still not having full effects. I have had a few attacks here and there; mostly because some days I will take 2 Lorazepam and then not take any the day after, which causes some withdrawal issues. This has only happened a few times, as I try to not take Lorazapam at all because I've read Benzo withdrawal is awful. I'm getting by.
I keep a journal where whenever I feel the least bit "off" I write an entry detailing the where/when/why of how I am feeling the way I am, and I feel it helps.
Other than that, what has been going on with me? Well, this past week I recently accepted a new job offer which will take me away form where I've been working for the past ten years. I'm not too scared, as it's right down the road, but I still feel a little anxious about it. I'm sure I will get through it ok.
All new members here? Post what you're feeling. Scaredy Cat and Hibee are wonderful, as is everyone else on this website. This is a wonderful outlet that can help you, and they have helped me. I'm still going through numerous issues, as I'm sure everyone here is...but keep in mind, we are all here together. We can beat this. We will beat it eventually.
-Zax