Newbie here with Health Anxiety

Hi Everyone,

I am new here, wanted to share my story and see if talking to people who also suffer from anxiety helps me.

I am 28 and have always been a worrier, just in general though and mainly about what people thought of me etc. My mother and uncle are also big worriers with OCD etc. From 2008 to 2015 I was very lucky and basically lived my dream job as marine biologist in various countries around the world, needless to say I definitely didn't find myself worrying about anything during these years and was always busy very social etc.

Now basically I have decided to do some more studying so have moved with my partner to Canada, I have been jobless for about a year now and haven't made many friends here in Canada, traditionally I am a very happy outgoing fun person. Now my troubles started last year not long after being here when I believed I had HIV (always been scared of it), I started to get a whitish tongue and small rashes on my facial skin. I googled and ended up convincing myself I had HIV. This went on for a while, I didn't get tested for a few months and I felt my anxiety come and go. I was sure I had it. During this time I had also found some blood in my stool and once again google told me I had bowel cancer, this time I freaked and went to the doctor, I just had a few haemorrhoids. That worry disappeared. The HIV worry then got pretty bad and I started getting bad dandruff and dermatitis which I had never had, went to one doctor and had a break down, told me I was being silly and to get blood tests. Didn't get the blood tests, believed I had it so was too scared. Went to another doctor, much nicer but told me I was fine and I needed to get my anxiety in check. Long story short I got tested end of last year, had a break down while I waited but I didn't have it.

Since then this year I have thought I had lymphoma due to a lump under my chin. I didn't, it has dissappeared and I am fine. More recently I thought I had lung cancer, then one day I had a tight chest while cycling, went to the doctor and he said he couldn't rule out a heart attack. A huge medical bill later I was cleared.

Now what has happened since that moment 2 weeks ago is hard to explain. I went to google and have fleeted from thinking it is my heart, GERD, cancer and gastritis. I have never had reflux or any digestive problems ever, but in the last two weeks since my heart attack experience I have had lump in throat symptoms, tight chest, sharp pains all over my torso, pain below my sternum, pain under arms, the list could go on.

Now basically I have spent almost all day as I have no job googling googling googling. The symptoms I have are the type where I never have more than one, they come and go as they please and not according to food. I can eat and lie right down, however I always have one dull symptom. All these symptoms are so dull that I cannot remember what it was like to be normal 3 or weeks ago. One day my stomach will hurt and I convince myself with google its gastritis and i will get stomach cancer, most days it is a weird gas feeling in my chest or kind of lump in my throat and once again google and I convince myself I have gerd and WILL get barretts and WILL get cancer.

I just wanted to share my story, I am sorry its long and I hate these feelings as I find myself obsessing over cancer yet I really don't think I have it, it is the fear of getting it. I just can't get over this anxiety. My lack of employment and other activities/friends mean I literally google and think about symptoms the whole time I am awake! I am thinking of going to a therapist first, does this sound like a case of somatic symptom disorder?

I would appreciate any comments or advice, I know I can't prove anything until having tests done but I feel deep down it is anxiety and would like to control that first and live a normal life before going to the doctor again.

Thanks everyone,

Luke

Hello LG and welcome!

Your story sounds familiar...any chance you used to post here under a different screen name? If not, sorry...we do have a lot of members with similar experiences, so know you are definitely not alone!

I am sorry to hear of your struggles. I know how this feels, and it is not fun. :/

Thanks for the details you included in your post...however, there is one thing more that could help us advise you, and that is what, if anything you have tried thus far for anxiety management? Have you been in therapy, or been on an Rx at any time. How about self help?

Knowing this will make it easier to give you suggestions as to where to start, or what you might want to try next.

Thanks!

Scaredy Cat

The crazy thing is, is I don't feel anxious in what I think of anxiety in my head but I obviously am. I pick my top lip almost constantly also and really make it look gnarly.

SC,

Once again, thank you for the reply,

I will definitely keep posting and let you know my progress whatever it maybe,

I have decided to try and at-least get my anxiety under control and live a slightly more active, busy lifestyle and see how I go. Regardless of if my problems are caused from anxiety or something else it is not healthy for me to be obsessing day and night. Easy said than done though!

Thanks again,

Hi LG,

Thank you for sharing. You've found an incredible support system within this forum, and I hope posting here helps.

I struggled with OCD tendencies growing up as well, but didn't really think they'd manifest into anxiety, and voila- they did. I struggle with health anxiety and often fear the same things you do, despite the doctor's telling me I am just fine.

I'm sure all of the changes in moving to Canada and having to re-create a life there have definitely encouraged the anxiety to rear its head. On the top of this forum there is a resources page that have amazingly helpful coping mechanisms which help dull the anxiety and get it under control.

Exercise helps tremendously, as well as any other forms of distractions-- going out with friends, reading, watching movies, etc.

Hello LG,

I also suffer from health anxiety. I work in the medical field and was exposed to death and disease everyday. The fear took over my life and I was finally convinced I needed some help. I started seeing a Therapist and got on 10mg of Lexapro. After the initial 3 weeks of hell, the start up, I felt like myself again. I have now been on it for 3 months and can finally live my life again without the constant worry. I too believed I had every disease... Hang in there. A routine will definitely help. Keeping yourself busy and surrounding yourself with positive people will also help.

Wishing you all the luck, and positive thoughts your way!

I suffer as well at least I think I do. Pelvic pain brought me to the gyno for a second pelvic exam in 2 months and then an additional vaginal ultrasound. Still was not feeling right went to my GP. Saw her NO and she did a complete CBC. Everything in normal range which includes lypocites, amylase, bilirubin, cholesterol, liver functions kidney functions. I was so happy but then I googled that CBC are no guarantee. I started to freak. When I spoke to the NP I expressed my fear of cancer and that maybe we should order a cat scan. The GP called me as I emailed her and confirmed my blood work looks good but that a CT will be ordered because of stomach pain. I am so obsessed that I pee in a cup t make sure it's the right color, I check my poop to make sure the color is right. I don't stop thinking about dying or cancer.

It is horrible and now I am thinking did the doctor lie is there something wrong with me and she lied about my tests does she see something that she is not telling me! I cry every night. I have removed myself from being who I was. I was always so happy and go lucky and now I am so afraid i have lost me