Posted 8/22/2017 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
aloha:
You said,
"I definitely understand about breaking the cycle, I guess im just scared about taking the medication and just psyching myself out. I have so much responsibilities in providing for my family that being reliant on the medication will just make it worse if I can learn to live with it? That might just be my mind though... Ughh sad"
1. "I guess im just scared about taking the medication"
Well, in a way, you're your own worst enemy. You're sitting there next to your medicine, Xanax tranquilizer, and you're going up the wall.
2. Again, you said, ""I guess im just scared...." It seems to me that your fear is your enemy. President Roosevelt said during World War II, as he tried to calm the U.S., "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." The enemy wasn't the main problem, it was any fear we might have of that.
It seems your fear is ruling. What if someone was drowning and they threw him a life preserver, and he was afraid to touch it for whatever reason. Please!
That's what they made Xanax, and other tranquilizers for. The fear is you don't have any, even though you could get some of those at the emergency room until you can get to a regular doctor.
But you have them right there in your house. But your fear of the solution keeps extending past the solution, showing, to me, it's not the problem that is the problem, you are the problem.
It might be your negative overruns every solution, so you can pacify your negative mind and still keep complaining.
You are looking past the solutions to the first negative to satisfy your negative mind, and get run over in the process.
Yes, you might get addicted. And you might drown drinking the water taking the pill. Deal with any addiction that might happen if it should happen. But first deal with the problem that is in front of you first. You might not make it to be addicted, if you don't get calmed down first.
I once let my negative thinking keep me from getting out of a difficult situation, when, we'll just say, there was a fire, and I thought, go out the door, but my negative thinking said, "yeah but it might be locked."
So to solve the problem of being negative but getting out, I dove through the window and got severely cut. But I got out.
Then I checked the door, and it was unlocked. But to satisfy my negative, I had to find a reason why the obvious solution wouldn't work. Even if it meant hurting myself very badly.
The solution is sitting right there. And you're blocking the solution. You, nobody else. You and I don't have to have enemies, we hurt ourselves.
This has gone on for a week, and your still spinning in your negativity. This is a sampling of your life.
You have solved the problem of what the problem was, generic Lexapro, you have gotten a doctor in quick time to put you back on brand Lexapro, you are sitting there next to Xanax for short-term help, and you're still going in circles 100 miles an hour.
No solution satisfied you. You feel good about no solution. If you find one, your anxiety overruns the solution. That's what the pill is for. Anxiety.
But you won't take it cause you might get addicted. But you might not get addicted, but you don't want to look at that.
Nothing has changed. Showing it's you that's the problem.
When I was a kid, I would go to my dad in the same state you are in right now. He wouldn't even talk of the problem, he would say, "Calm, down."
And I would continue talking 100 miles an hour, to match my emotions, and he would say again, "Calm, down."
Then after about the 3rd or 4th of those, when he had me calmed down, we would talk about the problem.
So, the first thing we need to do is to calm down. Nobody's going to get killed. You have gotten though the first crisis, now we're on the 10th.
It never changes. The crisis is not what the real issue is.
You say, "I've been holding off on the xanax until i really need it. Last thing i would need to add to the fight is an addiction"
You don't even have an addiction problem and you are crisising over that.
You say, " I guess im just scared about taking the medication and just psyching myself out."
What does that mean. You're psyching yourself out now because you're not taking the medicine. You don't psyche yourself out when you take a tranquilizer, you calm down. But now you have yourself taking a tranquilizer and that psyching you out. That's make- believe.
You say, "I have so much responsibilities in providing for my family that being reliant on the medication will just make it worse if I can learn to live with it?"
That almost sounds reasonable.
I was on an anti-depressant, and later Lithium and an anti-depressant, while many years of raising my child. I was a better father on medicine that I was off medicine.
If I hadn't been on medicine, I would have been a psych case and a really bad father. I was pretty negative, but I knew to take the medicine.
Now I'm a grandfather, and a great grandfather, and if I saw I couldn't function when what I really wanted was to be around them, I would take my medicine.
I told a 10-year-old recently about an upcoming surgery that I was worried about, and he told me in effect, "You need to man up."
And I did, and everything went well.
You said, "being reliant on the medication will just make it worse"
then you add, "That might just be my mind though..."
It is in your mind. And then you say, "Ughh sad" It is.