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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 4/10/2007 8:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

I really don't know whats going on with me right now.

First I had a bad bout of depression which came over me in the space of a day..honest.

This was in Dec and went on for a couple of months, I got medication which seems to have completely made my mood disapear, good and bad and left me feeling dodgy.

I still feel teary a lot and rubbish, and feel all these emotions that I can't describe beacause I don't know what they are!

I went to see a councillor who says I have bad anxiety which has led to the depression but I don't get this!( You see I don'e panic or anything)!

So I'm confused. The way I'm feeling is seriously affecting my relationship towards my bf as ever since I started feeling like this I've had this weird feeling towards him, just him no-one else but I don't know what this feeling is! It makes me feel awkward towards him and upset as  I really really don't want to feel this way towards him, I want to be happy again, he hasn't done anything either hes been really supportive and caring towards me but I've hardly anything to return.

So my question is: Can these feelings towards him be caused by anxiety/depression?

Will they ever go away and can we be happy again?

Is my relationship doomed?

Can someone give me some info/help about anxiety/depression and how it may effect relationships? As I don't know where to turn! I don't find my councillor to be helping much.

Thanks very much everyone!

Posted 4/10/2007 10:23 AM (GMT 0)
tell BF of your difficulties and that you expect you will be OK again soon

Posted 4/10/2007 12:55 PM (GMT 0)
It sounds like depression to me, I've had it for most of my life.  You may need to change antidepressants, sometimes it takes a few to see what works for you.  The crying should go away with the right med.  Talk to your doctor about how you are still feeling.

Posted 4/10/2007 4:22 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like depression to me too!

I'm just a little confused on exactly how you're treating your best friend? I know with me it was almost like I was pmsing everyday when it came to being around my husband. I truly treated the man like dirt, but everyone else I too was fine.

So the good news is I got properly treated, my husband is still with me and my health for the most part is back to normal.

I do suggest though if you don't start seeing results with in a month from your meds go back to your doc and get a new one!! Keep doing that until you start to feel better again.

In the long run this won't last forever and yes you will be happy again! It will take some time and hard work, but you will get back to your old self in no time!
Posted 4/10/2007 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
sorry by bf I meant boyfriend! oops! Did you feel like sort of weird hatred towards him of some sort, thats what I feel its horrible.
Posted 4/10/2007 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like depression and you need to have a one on one with your BF imo
Posted 4/11/2007 8:33 AM (GMT 0)
Got an appointment today with my councillor, my mum has phoned her...thanks mum! She told her that I need to see her sooner than once a month and that I didn't feel comfortable with the student there. I have asked my Mum to come with me too, I have nothing to hide from my fantastic Mother, in fact she probabley knows more than my councillor. Shes had to listen to me for so long.

Feeling a teeny bit better today! Don't have a clue why but nothings bothering me as much as normal.

I hate how everytime I go to see my councillor I'm in a better mood, i think this is partly why I end up saying 'Yeah I'm ok doing fine' , then the next day I'm back in my state.

I was actually really teary waiting on the bus this morning, like I wanted to just burst into tears but I couldn't this was for no apparent reason! Weird...

Thanks for reading everyone!
Posted 4/11/2007 10:42 AM (GMT 0)
I'm glad that you have an appointment with your counciller, hope it goes ok for you. When you have depression, you don't always have to have a reason for feeling teary and emotional, its part of the illness. Try and be as honest as you can with your counciller about how you have been feeling. Im so glad you have such a good relationship with your Mum, she sounds an excellent support and that is what you need right now. Im sure if you talk to your boyfriend and explain how you are feeling, he will want to support you. When I was honest with my boyfriend, he really helped me through my depression. Please don't hide it away, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Posted 4/11/2007 10:55 AM (GMT 0)

I want to start by saything this really is just my opinion / perspective on whats going on. Im no doctor and I could very easily be 'wide of the mark'

It does sound like depression but instead of the "feelings towards him be caused by anxiety/depression" how about reversing it. The depression/anxiety causing the feelings towards your bf. You mentioned that he has been really good to you. He has been supportive and caring but you have "hardly anything to return". Maybe you see the relationship as one-sided and because you feel you have nothing to return, you feel guilty and see this as a reason for the relationship to end. (Hence why you as "Is my relationship doomed?") I think a good long HONEST chat with your bf could clear up these feelings between you. If you had nothing to return then I think he would have gone before now, so you must have something. You are obviously a great person and I certainly don't think your relationship is doomed.

Having a student in the consulting room is enough to make anyone feel uneasy. I certainly wouldnt want it. Im glad that your mum has asked for the student not to be there. This may help you get the most our of your sessions.

Chin up, Stay strong and place one foot in front of the other. You will get to where you are going. Its only a matter of time.

Darren

Posted 4/12/2007 8:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,
well my councilling app went ok! For the first time I actually cried in front of her! And to be honest I feel a bit better, She was quite stern with me and it actually made me look at everything a bit clearer!

We talked about my bf and what went wrong etc and she says she strongly thinks we have a future together and that I'll be ok.

After sitting there telling her EVERYTHING. She says I am a classic case of anxiety and depression and I have to keep telling myself that instead of blaming everything on me! She also said that I need to lay off myself and stop analysing every little detail about everything.

I do honestly feel a tiny bit better after our chat because I have faced up to a lot of things I was scared to before and once she brought them up it felt as if something snapped and I kind of felt better. Just a bit though I was still relly teary yesterday afterwards.

My mum has suggested to her I see her once a fortnight instead of once a month and my mum also spoke to her about her view on how I've been, it kind of felt better with someone being there to support me and explain too, because I get soo confused about how I'm feeling sometimes and also because I don't actually know what IS wrong I don't know what to say to my councillor, resulting in me saying yea I'm ok!

She said I've to look forward now not back, and not try to get back to how I used to be because back then all the anxiety was brewing but be a new me, still the same Katie but without the anxiety/down days and blah!

Today has started ok, I hope it stays that way, but knowing me tomorrow could be a whole lot different....

Thanks everyone =)
Posted 4/12/2007 8:30 AM (GMT 0)
I am glad that your appointment went well and I agree with your counciller, you should stop beating yourself up an blaming yourself. You cannot help being ill. Have you seen a doctor for your depression and anxiety? Keep up the good work, you are doing well and the fact that you are trying hard to fight this and help yourself is a massive step and you should be proud of yourself. Don't be ashamed of what you are going through, depression is an illness like any other. Take care and keep in touch.
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