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Working in an emotinally toxic environment???

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Posted 5/15/2007 10:13 PM (GMT 0)
Not only am I having agoraphobia, I am having phoneaphobia (have been unable to pick up the phone to call anyone).  I sent an email on Friday to the head office of where I work requesting a transfer to a store in a different city. I really want to get back to work and get on with my life.  When I had not received a response by Monday 2 p.m. I sent another email asking if they had received the email I sent of Friday (my computer was acting hinky so I thought maybe it did not go through)  It is Tuesday after 5 p.m. and I have not yet received a response!!  I picked up the phone a hundred times today to call to see if they got my email request for a transfer, but could not make the call.  My manager and the other asst. manager have been less than supportive (I have not received a phone call from them in the 5 weeks that I have been off trying to deal with this depression and anxiety)  I am on a medical leave of absense and am receiving benefits from our insurance company.  I was told by head office to keep in touch with my manager and I have done that.  I wrote a letter (phoneaphobia) letting them know I was seeing a physchiatrist and apologizing for leaving them short handed. (I received no response to the letter, this leads me to think they do not want me back) The fact that I am now being ignored by the people at head office has had me in a state of panic (heart racing and stomach in knots-can't eat) since yesterday.   I have worked for this company for close to 14 years!!  I consider myself to be a hard worker, reliable, honest, with very good customer service skills.  I could really use some feedback on others experiences with there bosses in dealing with there mental health issues.  I am being overly sensitive??  Is it time to move on to a totally new job?? (14 years-4 weeks paid vacation and full benefits are hard to walk away from) but the thought of going back to work in such an emotionally toxic environment is making me physically ill !!  I see the physchiatrist for the first time tomorrow and plan on making this one of the first issues that I have to deal with.  Your thoughts and opinions on this would be greatly appreciated!!

Mary-Ellen

Posted 5/15/2007 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
I find it very rude that they have not replied to you good or bad news
I certainly would write ONE more email and ask that you be contacted with an answer asap
whether they want you or not .....
I have never been in this situation but I am sure it has got to be dang hard on a/p and body /mind

I wish you all the best

LYN
Posted 5/15/2007 11:18 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Lyn
My mind is playing the what if game. I want to pick up the phone and maybe leave a message (maybe around midnight when I know they won't be there to answer the phone LOL)?? What if there is something wrong with the email system at their end?? What if they are trying to find a position for me before they get back to me?? What if they have decided they do not want a mentally unstable person working for them and are not responding so I will quit?? what if, what if, what if, the knot in my stomache grows with each new what if I come up with!!! I have decided I WILL NOT go back to work in my present store and will quit if they tell me I cannot transfer. Going back to work there would be a huge step backwards!! and I am bound and determined to go forward, forward, forward!!! Come what may. I WILLl be happy again and I will have a better life, the past 4 years since separting from my husband have been hell. Work,eat,sleep,work,eat, sleep and then get up and do it all over again the next day and on days off hide under the covers!! I am done with all that, I have never sought treatment before and I intend to work the program for all it is worth!! Having a job where I am appreciated would be a great help!! Starting over again at a new job at 47 years old is very frightening but I WILL do it!!!
Mary-Ellen
Posted 5/16/2007 12:56 AM (GMT 0)
A store? I bet I know what company this is, and their behavior does not surprise me one bit.
Posted 5/16/2007 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
Were you thinking 7-11??? (You were thinking Walmart weren't you, LOL) It is the people in the store that I am working for that are the real problem!! I have been treated badly, everyone I know tells me I am being treated badly. I know there is bul****t that you have to put up with no matter where you work,but this crosses a line. Understanding and compassion from someone you have worked your butt off for the last 14 years is something you should expect not have to ask for. I am hoping that the people at head office are as awake as I am now trying to come up with a solution to this problem. (Is this Positive thinking?? LOL) It will be there loss!!
A line from one of my favourite Colin James songs "You never know just who your friends are, until you find out at last, who they are not" Time to get some new "friends"
Mary-Ellen
Posted 5/16/2007 5:09 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Mary-Ellen,

A toxic work environment is exactly what sent me into a clinical depression and severe anxiety, which led my finally being prescribed for those conditions.

I immediately went on FMLA which protected my job and gave me time to get my life together. Legally, once you claim FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act), they cannot fire you and must save your job. If you go that route, don't let HR bully you by saying you must give notice. If your doc says that staying will exacerbate your illness (which you are not compelled to disclose), you can leave *immediately*

I was out for 3 months and then chose not to return, but those 3 months for me were a godsend as I worked through my stuff.

b r e a t h e.....

~L
Posted 5/16/2007 5:20 AM (GMT 0)
~L
FMLA, are you in the US?? Not sure if they have anything like that in Canada. I am so glad you posted though!! I will ask the doctor about that tomorrow. There must be something similiar in Canada!!!
Thank You
Mary-Ellen
Posted 5/17/2007 1:08 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sure they probably do have it in Canada, and I bet it's probably more favorable to the employer than the US version is. But that's just supposition.

And it was supposition to think you worked for WalMart. I hate them with a screaming passion, but it doesn't sound like 7-11 is much better. There's a 7-11 I used to go to. Not anymore, though. They just lost a customer.
Posted 5/17/2007 3:06 AM (GMT 0)

I said I would post and let you all know how the visit to the psychiatrist went.  First, last and only visit I will be having with a psychiatrist!!!  What a complete and utter waste of time.  I am not sure what I was expecting but what happened borders on the ridiculous!!  First, he did not even introduce himself, asked me to sit, questioned me for 20 minutes, then said yes you are depressed, yes you are having anxiety, yes you do need to resolve your work situation, stay on the wellbutrin, ask to see a pyscholigist through work and that was it!!!  See you later have a nice day!!!  Cost me $30 in cab fare!!!  nono   Never, never again!!! 

I have sent another email to head office regarding my transfer, I figured out how to do the thingy so that I will get a notice when they receive and read the email.  If I do not hear from them I will at least know that they have received it!!!  If I do not get an email telling me they have received the message by 3p.m. tomorrow I will have to pick up the phone and call. 

The meeting for the Great Strides walk went well and the good news is we have more volunteers than we know what to do with!!  That was pretty much the only bright spot in my day.  Sorry about the rant!!  I am off to bed, hopefully tomorrow will be much more productive than today.

Mary-Ellen

Posted 5/17/2007 8:22 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Mary-Ellen

I have been in your position.  I am 46 and worked for the same organisation for 12 years.  I was off work with a work injury and developed severe depression.  I got very phonephobic too, I'm a bit better now, but still have my days.

If you are off under an insurane scheme, definitely do not quit.  Find out your options.  And please don't let one dodgy doc put you off.  I saw a couple of pshychologists before striking a fantastic one who has helped me immeasurably. The psychiatrist on the other hand would have done my head in if I was relying on him for advice, I only see him for medication advice as I have a low tolerance and terrible side effects to many meds.

I am under Workcover here in Australia, don't know what you have there in Canada, but there is plenty of options to explore if you are covered by insurance - that's what it's there for.  I NEVER thought I would be a recipient of this, not my bag, but it got out of my control and I am very thankful the insurance was there, because 18 months without work and no income... I hate to think where I would be now. 

My workplace was very toxic, and I am now in a new and very supportive environment.  Yes I have lost all the security I had at my old workplace, including over 400 hours of accumulated sick leave, a much higher rate of pay, and much more opportunity to be promoted, but at the end of the day, inner peace is much more important, in my opinion.

Best wishes

Deb

Posted 5/17/2007 4:27 PM (GMT 0)

 hello,

       i am new to this site. how is everyone.  i don't really know where to start with my story or if anyone is interested in hearing it. i have anxiety episodes every day and they go back to when i was a teen. it is a daily mental/psychological battle that i put myself through in order to get through the day/function.  babyelephant

Posted 5/17/2007 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mary-Ellen,

Yes, I'm in the US - pardon me for assuming the rest of the world is too - a nasty group personality flaw we have here.

That said, *please* don't give up on psychiatrists/psychologists. Like any relationship, finding a good one doesn't always happen the first shot. I know that damage to trust that a bad one can be. For myself, I approach it like conducting a job interview. If it is not a good fit, no harm,no foul, I'm on my way.

All my best,
L
Posted 5/17/2007 11:51 PM (GMT 0)
Agreed. I don't know know how many hundreds of thousands of doctors there are in your country, but among them you'll find brilliant ones, idiots, nice and compassionate ones, arrogant jerks, etc. You may try looking on the internet to see if you can find reviews. Take them with a grain of salt, of course, but maybe they'll be helpful.
Posted 5/18/2007 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
Seen the family doc this afternoon and he gave me a note to include with my transfer request stating that for medical reasons I should be transfered to another store. I finally got a call from head office, there is a form to fill out (go figure) and they are sending it to me. It has to go through the store manager and the field consultant, so I asked the doc to do another report for the insurance company, he is going to ask for another six weeks. I do not beleive I will need that long, once I find out if I can transfer or not I am SO OUT OF HERE!!! Unless they come up with a really good reason for not transfering me, I have been told I might have a case of the Human Rights people. I had myself worked up into a pretty good lather so the doc gave me a script for xanax??? Now all I have to do is get out of the door to get it filled.
On a brighter note I think I got the toothpaste and toothbrushes donated for the Great Strides walk!!! I called my son"s orthodondist and the receptionist has two neices with cystic fibrosis and said they would be glad to help, I will get an answer on Tues. Cutting it close cus the walk is on Sunday the 27th. I should have gone this route weeks ago when I did not get a response from the Dental Association!! Oh well I will know better for next year.
With the doctor's note and the new report to the insurance company I am feeling like things just might work out in my favour!!! More positive thinking???
Mary-Ellen
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