Posted 5/26/2007 8:56 AM (GMT 0)
Wow, thanks for the continued responses. I think I should let you guys know that I'm doing a LOT better (at least for now). When I turned in my resignation at my new job, I think that flipped a switch in my brain. It was like, okay, things are moving now. I will work through next Friday, pack over the weekend, and hire some movers to get my stuff into storage on Monday. And then I'll go to my dad's and train. On the weekends I'll head up to Dallas to look at neighborhoods, and I can take the last week in June to nail down a place and get it leased. Then I can move in at my leisure.
So it's like the first domino fell and now I'm just letting things take their course. It's not troubling me at all. The insurance situation is going to be expensive for a little while unitl the new insurance takes effect, but it's nothing I can't handle. Nothing else to worry about, really.
ManyEmbers,
I think you're right. Moving is very stressful, even if it's just a cross town move. A two-stage relocation like I'm doing would bother anybody. That is comforting, but the problem is since I have anxiety and panic disorder I was experiencing this stress a little differently than I would have, say, five years ago. It's just a different feeling. Then there's the fact that I haven't really been "recovered" that long. I still FEAR relapse like nothing else in this world. But, like I said, I'm feeling much more comfortable with it now. If I haven't relapsed by the time this is all over, I don't think I ever will. Ups and downs, sure...but this will be a good test in terms of the full-blown stuff. I think I'm ready for it.
In terms of this rescue remedy, though, I'm vehemently anti-medicine. It took me forever to take the Klonopin and I'm now a believer in that, but I do not look at herbal stuff any differently than I look at pharmaceuticals. If things start getting nuts I'll either try to increase the Klonopin slightly or maybe ask the doc to prescribe just a few Xanax that I can take only at the worst moments. Whatever he thinks would be best. I'm sure your stuff may work, but I'm just weird like that. Even after surgery I refused pain medications.
I do not "love" Dallas. I do love Austin. But it's weird because I have few friends in Austin and many in Dallas, because that's where I'm from. So home really is where the heart is. I'm looking forward to going back (ideally I'd drag them all down here but I can't).
I do believe in God, but I don't tend to talk a lot about it on the internet unless I see someone misrepresent Christianity by being a bigot or whatever. And I do not believe God will "cure" me directly. I think I've been tasked to do it myself with what I've been given, and I believe that's in all of us whether we're believers or not. I don't think he wants any of us to suffer.
Anyway, it's late at night and boy am I rambling. haha