To work or not to work?

This is an issue that has been bothering me for awhile now, and since everyone I seem to ask in my personal life can't give me a straight answer I figured I would get some opinions from another source. Here's the situation....

My anxiety attacks have pretty much tapered off as of recently. Every once in awhile my anxiety level will rise but haven't had a full-blown PA in weeks, but at the same time I also haven't eaten any solid food in weeks either due to eating anxiety(scared of having something solid on my stomach/digestion) thus I've been on a strictly liquid diet of water, tea with plenty of sugar, or gatorade. It's unhealty I know, but at least it allows me to function enough to go to my counseling sessions to try and get better. The problem is: One of my major stressors at the moment is the fact I don't have a job. My girlfriend has been working extra hard at her job and my parents have been lending me money but I don't want to put them through that burden along with me being sick. A friend of mine recently called me and said there was a job waiting for me (I haven't told this friend of mine about my situation in detail yet).

So should I go ahead and take the job or not? I'm thinking that maybe, MAYBE if I get to working I can focus my energy and attention on something other than my physical problems. It'll be a source of income so that stress can be lifted, and hopefully while I'm working I might be able to eat a little something solid and then turn my attention away from my digestive hypervigilance long enough to get some decent nourishment. But on the other hand, I don't want to go out and try to work an 8 or 9+ hour shift, outside in the heat no less, with so little energy in my body. I don't want to pass out on the job or anything like that, and honestly as of late if I'm outside in the heat for too long I feel like I'm going to pass out. I also don't want to start working and realize I just don't have the ability to work to my full potential because I can't eat. My job record is pretty good for a young guy and I don't want to screw it up.

Opinions/advice please?

Dear Pilehead
Welcome to Healing Well.
You say you have been on a liquid diet and now you are considering a outdoors type construction job in the heat with heavy work involved???
Did I get that right?
Is this the type of job you would choose for you if you were actively looking and not a job offered by a friend?
My concern would be your nutritional health is not good at this time.
You could go on a high protien, high calorie liguid diet. But you would really have to work at making sure you stick to it before you venture out in the hot weather for 8-9 hours a day.
I hope this has helped some.

hunniebee- Thanks for the blessings and advice. I had never thought to try and get on disability, mostly because I never thought I'd get it because I'm so young and beyond me not eating, there isn't anything physically wrong with me (that I know of!). Besides, it's a topic I know very little about, and I heard it takes almost a year or so before it starts working. I'm probably off base though, just going off rumors.

stkitt- It's an outdoors type job, not exactly construction but kind of. I know that doesn't make any sense at all. It's working for the city, so I'd be mowing grass, cleaning up streets, things like that. Not heavy lifting the whole shift but still hard work. I normally would take that kind of job if I wasn't sick. I understand what you're saying about the high protein, high calorie diet but I kind of tried that already. Actually, I tried to have a slim-fast shake when my problems first started and it killed my stomach to no end. I'm not sure if it's milk, or maybe it's just in my head, but I've been staying away from milk products since that shake. I may try again now that I'm a little more stable, any other suggestions would be great!

debaser- You're right about making nourishment my #1 priority. For a moment I thought about just getting a simple job, like a fast food place, just to test out my idea of distracting myself. That way if it works, great, and if not I can just quit...not like those places aren't used to seeing people quit within 1-2 days. Don't get me wrong, I WANT to eat badly! But there's a mental block of anxiety about having something on my stomach, waiting for it to digest and running through my body...it sounds so silly but for some reason I can't get over it. I was nibbling on ice cream from time to time, but like I said above after one milkshake I stopped touching milk products. And I've never had a problem with them before so I'm certainly not lactose-intolerant. It just seems as if I'm only comfortable with liquids right now. I get this feeling on my stomach that's hard to describe, but it's almost like my stomach is full of a soapy water, which I know doesn't make ANY sense but it's the best way I can describe it. I've also got pressure on the right side of my abdomen, almost like someone is grabbing and squeezing my side really hard. I just can't find that one 'breakthrough' product to eat that will give me the courage to try more. And by now I'm certain my GI tract has little to no digestive acid, and my metabolism has slowed so much that I don't want to go into shock trying the wrong thing. Anywho, to answer your question(finally!): I saw my doctor last week, but that was about me not taking my klonopin. He suggested I break the 1mg tabs in half and take them but I still haven't since I honestly haven't had a real panic attack in awhile. I've got to go see my counselor on monday and hopefully she'll be able to help me out some more.

Mystruggle gives good advice (except for the Wal-Mart part...go somewhere else!).

I'm very familiar with where you're at. I dropped around 40 pounds in two months at one point and pretty much had to force myself to eat again. Along with the shakes and drinks Mystruggle talks about, try starting with something inoffensive like crackers. Eat them for a while, then switch to bread. Gradually add some deli sliced meats in very small amounts until you can handle that. Then add more things. Eventually you can try grilling chicken and other light meals that are easy to digest.