New Here, Pregnant, Severe Anxiety

Hello All,

   Reading your posts has given me a little solace so I thought that I would post myself. I'm 35 years old and 24 weeks pregnant. It's my second pregnancy, as my last one ended in a stillbirth at 33 weeks. I used to take Prozac for anxiety/depression and about 3 months ago I did what you are never supposed to do, I just stopped. I was perfectly fine until about 10 days ago when I started feeling very anxious. I had an appt. to see my ob and when I asked him about going back on the Prozac, he recommended Buspar. I called my primary care and she gave me scrip for it. It did not help so after a week I called and she upped th doseage to 60 mg. That was yesterday. I know it takes about 2 weeks to work, so I am trying to hold out. I also made an appt. with a therapist for tomorrow, and am trying to make a psychiatrist appt too (my OB's suggestion). In the meantime I am just overwhelmed with feelings of doom, something horrible is going to happen to my fantastic husband, or my family, or to my baby. I'm even worried about something happening to her after she is born. We were talking about daycare and my husband picking her up, and right now I can't imagine that, because I just know they will be in a horrible wreck and I will be left alone. It does not help that a woman (28 years old) who used to work for my company was just killed in a car wreck. I did not know her, but I keep thinking, see, if it could happen to her, it could happen to your husband. Does anyone else have these horrible thoughts? I just want to feel like I did a month ago, basically happy. Any suggestions on getting through the days until either the meds kick in, or the therapy starts working? Thanks!!

Thyme,

I'm so sorry about the loss of your baby.  I, too, will pray for you to have a healthy baby.  I've gone through alot of the doom and gloom thinking.  I've always worried about my daughter getting hurt or lost or any number of bad things.  Just in the last few months I've been learning through therapy that I have to let go of the the things I cannot control.  The safety of my family is something, unfortunately, that I can't control.  It's taken me a while to really accept this, but once it started to sink in, I cannot tell you how quickly my anxiety level dropped.  I do have to keep reminding myself when I'm in a worry mode that I am not in control, but it's becoming more and more a part of me.  It's not easy to truly accept this, but it can be time with patience and persisitance.  I hope things go well will your therapist, let them know about these thoughts, I'm sure they will have more ideas to help you.  Keep posting here too, the support is amazing!

Thank you all for your kind words. I feel a little better today. At least I've been able to function at work. I'm hopeful as I have an appt. with a psychologist tonight to start some therapy, and I was able to reach a psychiatrist I saw years ago and really like. He is seeing me on Saturday morning. So, with all of that, combined with the meds kicking in a little at a time, I hopeing I can get back to myself soon. It's interesting that I thought I handled the death of my son so well. I got some counseling after it happened and moved forward. But, with the new pregnancy, I wonder if a lot of what I am going through is related to that. My husband was wonderful when it happened, as always, and I have become very dependent on him. I wonder if that has something to do with my fear that something will happen to him. Maybe the therapist can shed a little light on this, and help me find a way to get rid of these thoughts. For the moment, I am "chugging along" and when the bad thoughts come I try to rationalize them. The odds that we will live to be an old married couple far outway the odds that I will end up a 35 year old widow, I remind myself. I'll keep you updated as all of this drama/trauma progresses. Thyme