Help I need some answers

I am currently am with a SO and have been for 2 yrs.....She was diagnosed panic/anxiety years ago....had remeron in her glove box before Imet her that she wouldnt take for fear of the side effects.....It has been 2 years of walking on eggshells.. watching wha tI say.. the simplest things that normally two people can converse, discuss, or disagree about raises her anxiety level.. she has yelled at me, raged at me and stormed out the door in a panic mode to get away from the situation... She has denied from time to time that she even has it.. althou her daughter has told me she is way over the top emotionally which of course I see everyday.. As well as her brother telling me she is hypersensitive to everything....Now she didnt have that great of a childhood.. Her mother who was also diagnosed panic/anxiety gave her up to her aunt when she was 4 yrs old.. she was then told at 14 that they werent actually mom dad and siblings but aunt uncle and cousins.. so I know she has been through the ringer... Her response is always to me that I am just going to go out and find a guy to love me for me... and that kills me.. I love her to death but apparently it isnt enough for her.. Id really like some imput as to whether this is common interaction for panic/anxiety.. Im getting to the point where I realize you cant help someone who doesnt want to hepl themselves... but I would support her 100%...but it has to start with her.. Help!

Except for the past few days, I've been doing well with A/P disorder over the last few months (since accepting treatment), but still cannot imagine a girl putting up with me so I've been avoiding that part of life. I know it can't be easy.

But if she pursues treatment, she will get better. How much better she gets depends on a lot of factors. Honestly, it will probably be a long road because it's a progressive disorder that when left untreated generally does get worse and worse. She's had it a long time.

But one thing working in her favor (whether she acknowledges it or not) is that she apparently does have someone who care for her just the way she is. You're obviously a patient man, and if you can convince her to accept treatment your being with her will probably accelerate her recovery. I believe if I had a girlfriend who was cool with this, I'd be a lot farther along. A/P sufferers get trapped in their own minds, see. They become very self-centered. I'm not trying to insult anyone (I'm part of the group) but it's just the truth. As a result we cannot see things logically. Everything is distorted. When I go through my "bad spells" I fall back into the same traps. Another person around (the right person) would probably stem some of that.

The thing you have to remember is, you're not her therapist. If you were, it would be dysfunctional. Number one, she needs medical help that you cannot give her but can perhaps convince her to pursue. I'm not a big believer in psychotherapy, but in her case where things clearly go back to her childhood, it may be necessary. You can't be that person. It has to be an objective professional. You're not that, but you can point her in the right direction.

Somehow you have to convince her that she can get better if she makes these steps. I'd point her to this forum for starters.

do people with this disorder find that even thou they dont always have panic attacks.. the anxiety is always just under the surface... that anything can set them off.. that has beeen my experience... loud noises make her anxious.. raising your voice to kids does.. Ive always found that there was little room for discussion or trying to resolve a disagreement in a calm manner.. she always rages or screams.. freaks out is a better wors. sometimes running out of the house and leaving saying this isnt a healthy relationship.. I have always been the calmest of people around her because of this.. and couldnt understand her reaction all of the time..

thanks for the reply howlincat

I appreciate all of your responses.. I am no longer with her.. apparently she has found someone new to suck dry...So live and learn as the saying goes