I feel your pain. I have known my wife of four years for 10+ years. Mine shares all the same symptoms as yours, but took it a bit farther and cheated on me. We have a special burden. We are the...
Been a while since I have posted. Well, she has been living at home, with her parents. She takes her meds (has gained about 20 pounds), but won't quit drinking. I was practicing no contact for a...
There is always hope. But HE has to want and get help. You can't do it for him. That's the catch. He could make a full recovery and maintain his med levels, but you can't do that for him. He has to...
I don't believe in much, but one of the few things that I do believe is that if you start taking care of yourself, and like/love yourself, someone will come to you without you even having to try. I...
SOS007, said it perfectly. I am in a similar situation. I thought I could make it work, if I just worked harder. But if one person in a marriage is not willing to work, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...
The only one who can come to a decision that's best for you is you. I am in a similar situation. No kids, but in a relationship for 11 years and married for four. I don't feel like a husband, i feel...
THIS! She always like to say that she isn't vindictive, but she is. She will say and do things just to get a rise out of me. I am starting to have a feeling that this is just another of her games....
Yeah, I know how you feel. The last time she was gone, it was quiet and peaceful. I was so serene for the first two days, then I got lonely. As long as she keeps or "pretends" that she doesn't want...
I can really sympathize with you. I am in a similar situation except that I am the husband and my wife is BP. You can read my latest post below and my Feeling low posts from July. I really believed I...
Some of you may remember me. I was here for about a month in the summer. My wife of four years and relationship of 11 years had been breaking down for the past couple of years. She had been diagnosed...
I am assuming she will break our current deal. When she does, I will repossess the keys. She didn't come by with the dogs yesterday, so I assume she was off. She blew an opportunity to keep her end...
Yeah. She is still gone, but dropping off the dogs when I go to work. She did that before, but now she doesn't even call. My therapist thinks she is desperate and has no where to put the dogs. I kind...
I know as someone who has been mentally abused, it's simple. Don't ever do it again. Easier said than done. You need to get and stick with treatment. I know that as a spouse of an abuser, that there...
I have heard that therapists (and I assume other health workers) can become co-dependent. They eventually start to become resentful of the people they are trying to help. There is just such a bad...
Well she's gone. I was surprised to see that she took the dogs and left. I have a feeling this will only last a few days and then she will try to manipulate me again. I am feeling quite serene and...
Vent away. It helps me greatly. Read the posts and share. Venting helps you to think and see that you are not alone in your strife. I am not normally so short (as livingwell knows ;) ), but I have...
Hi Pitirre, I think you should read my posts. I think you will find a lot of similarities. I haven't been married anywhere near as long, but I married a BP 2 wife. In short, her BP, alcohol abuse and...
:mad: Stupid me again.....I have been waiting to see my therapist on Weds. I went to the groups I mentioned earlier and found them helpful. I was feeling a little better. My wife seemed to understand...
Well, I am starting to think it's both her and the BP. But I am done trying to make logical the illogical. I will try not to let her 'cane' me anymore....
:tongue: Already looked into it. Closest one is in Richmond, VA..too far away. I was EXTREMELY fortunate to find that there is a male CoDA meeting today, in my area. I attended a Al Anon meeting...
Wow, what a month. I have been out on travel for work, since my last post. We reconciled, a day after I put her out. She came back and wanted to work on our issues. I shouldn't have let her back in....
For the same reason that God lets kids die of leukemia, it's a disease. I know it seems hard to believe. I have my doubts a lot that it's just her and not the disease. Even she now feels that this...
Hey Eric, I feel for you. Our situations seem to be alike except we have no kids (my threads are around the board, if you want to compare). The kids make it impossible, because there is no way you...
I guess my abnormally short message, didn't convey what I meant. I meant how could her not taking her meds be possibly good in anyway, not that you should be judgmental and scold her. I will try to...
Listen to her Lynn. I don't know if you are in a relationship, but people here know I have done EVERYTHING possible to try to support my wife, but I cannot let her destroy me as well as herself. YOU...
Why don't you take it then? At least then you won't be beating yourself up about it....
I hear you. I like the solitude as well, but I don't know how to appreciate it. I don't know if that makes sense. I have few friends and even less family, so I am very isolated. That's why I am...
It happens. I haven't started dreaming about my wife, yet. But I have occasionally dreamed about my ex-wife. About the good times, etc. We were very young (early 20's), she used me (admitted it to...
Have you asked about alternatives? You can always get a second opinion, especially if the meds are making you sick....
I am with you Beyond. Be there for her as much as you can. At times you have to remember that you will sometimes have to be the reasonable adult in your relationship. I admire your commitment and...
I had a good weekend as well, with the exceptions of when my wife dropped in to get minor things. I felt guilty, even though I know I have done everything possible. Fortunately those bouts only...
Not that I want to question, but is that really good? This is the thing I don't understand, and I guess I never will without having experienced it. You KNOW the consequences of not taking your meds,...
I may be making a wrong assumption, but I am assuming you have been diagnosed with BP. I am in a similar situation. My spouse it BP II and after years of trying to live with it and after about a year...
Well, the therapy session went as I expected. She seemed to get it, then she was in denial. The same thing. I did tell them both that I was done, that I had nothing more to give and she needed to...
Hey BMM, I feel for you. My situation is similar, but I don't have kids. My long sordid story is posted around the forum if you want to see if there are similarities. I have a feeling you will see a...
From what I understand, if you get the right meds and amounts, therapy and support, it will get better. It got better for my wife, before she relapsed. The question is, do YOU want it to stop? If you...
I had to laugh when I saw LW's thread on "how was your day?". I didn't want to spoil it so, I am sticking to my thread. How was my day? Well, I come home yesterday after work and the kitchen is an...
:smilewinkgrin: I can't leave, it's my house! She's not on the mortgage as we keep our finances separate. Believe me, if it were hers or ours jointly, we wouldn't be having this discussion....
Well, I am not sure I should say this. But my therapist asked me if I was religious. I told her no and then we got off on a tangent and never expounded on the subject. My personal belief is that...
Well, as I said before, I was going to let things lie. She made up with me, but in my mind, I hadn't changed my mind and I was/am going to speak my mind to the therapist on Thursday. My cousin told...
Thank God for an ignore button in this forum (referring to the guy above me). Thanks for the replies guys. I figured I would get the responses indicating what I should do, would be. Anyone, want to...
Hey LW. I have a similar situation. My wife's ex boyfriend is still in the picture. She still is friends with him, but the difference here is that he honors our marriage and let's her know that. I...
There is always a tipping point. One drop too many. I am not sure you were so 'hard' on her as much as it was something she needed to hear. Whether she appreciates that fact and that you have been a...
Well, I think it's over. She wanted to go out and I didn't want to. She tends to do things so last minute. I like to plan things more. Once my expectations are set, I don't really like to change...
As some of you know, I am husband to a BP II wife. Anyone wanting my 'backstory' can read my New Poster thread from three weeks ago. I think she has made the largest progress she can make by taking...
I feel you Can't. For a while there, I was literally believing that everything she was doing was on purpose. When I would confront her she would ALWAYS say "I didn't think about it". I mean, how...
I wouldn't say that "most" of the spouses with BP want to save the marriage. It depends on the person and the seriousness of their BP. Some easily realize they need help, others need to crash and...
It's part of the disease, denial. Emotions take over the rational mind. If you have them actually think about it and verbalize whether they are happier or not, they will most likely tell you no...
Hey CJ, Everyone before me has said it. You need to get help for yourself. For me, talking to a therapist and learning about BP has made a significant difference. I don't know if we will work it out...
So what do you want to do? If he doesn't want to help himself, then you can't help him. The therapist is just as important as the shrink. The therapist can help treat the areas that the meds don't,...