Really Trying, I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on. From where I sit, he's got the people that care about him most around him now and you are all taking responsibility for his well-being....
Hi Moon37, Welcome to HW! Thank you for your nice comments. Hope you (and everyone!) have a great Turkey Day. Rick......
Dolbert: Hope things are okay with you. Kiwi nailed it right on the head for you, so take his advice. Feel free to Email me directly. Kiwi: I haven't been on in a week or so here, so I missed your...
Darren: Thanks. Yes, she's doing it without professional help and if you read even a few of my posts from this past summer, you know what a hard head my wife is. It's one of her charms (at least that...
Hi all, Well, I haven't been on for quite a while. I've been working a lot and trying to settle into things with my family. As many of you know, my wife decided to stay and work on the...
Hi scrambledeggs, I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time with things. Some of the things you mention sound very familiar to me. There might be a connection with the weight thing,...
Mini Update: Well, as most of you know, my wife has decided to stay and work on the marriage. She's saying the right things, but I'm concerned that she's doing this as an alternative to dealing with...
Restless: Good luck with everything. I'm thinking of you as well. Rick......
Hey inpain2007: Welcome to the forum! I hope that things work out for you...and your wife. Good luck with everything! Rick......
Hey Shy, I'm not sure with her. She's said and done things that seem like they are heading in the right direction and then taken them back by saying that she was "trying" and that she "wanted it to...
Thanks Shy! Yeah, she may have asked herself that. Only time will tell. I do know that she's realized that she has a lot here - a husband who loves her, a great group of kids, etc. I hope it's enough...
Carla & Shy, Well, she's apparently decided that she's not leaving. She also notified me today that she's quitting her job. I'm still kind of in shock about it and really don't know what to make of...
Shy, I'm sorry to hear that you are in this type of situation. I think that you've had some good advice here, but I thought that I'd give you my two cents considering A) the situation that I'm in...
Shy: Yes, she is. I've found that I have next to nothing as far as patience goes. I do know that she loves me, but her hard head keeps her from saying it or showing it. It sucks and I'm tired of...
Shy: Yes, that is absolutely part of it. That's why I'm watching it very, very carefully and not letting her stay without stepping up. It's been over a week and she hasn't said word one about...
Actually, I had no idea where that came from. I had seen it in someone else's sig years ago and liked it. That person didn't have a credit, either, so I didn't know the origin. Sorry to Jack!!...
Kitt: Thanks. Shy: That's the tough part - she doesn't have the means to get out and on her own. So I'm left with a wife who is "present", but not committed. Every time I bring it up, she gets upset...
Shy: I know. I agree with you. It's such a sensitive thing that I'm trying to hold it loosely and at the same time not let it continue for a long period. Too much has happened and too much has been...
Sorry - I haven't been on in a while. I've been busy with work and the kids. Kitt (& Darren & Carla): I know that it seems pretty psycho as far as her behavior. I do have to say that the emotions...
Carla, No, she slept in the mini van one night, that was it. I TOTALLY agree that we should write a soap opera. That's how this feels every single day! Rick......
Kiwi, Yes, the similarities are incredible. I'd say it is something in the water, but I think that we're too far away from each other for that possibility! For the past three days, she barely says...
Leigh Ann, Well, I don't want to make it sound like she's a danger to the children. She may not be a great mom at the moment (and for a while), but I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. Trust me, I'd...
She is just an angry person at this point and has blamed me for all of her problems. I realize that this is part of the process for her, but it doesn't feel good, that's for sure. I'm going to do my...
Hi L., I'm sorry to hear about how things have turned for you. That is not good. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, he's possibly getting help and that would be good for your kids in the long...
Annabanana: Yes, I explained the chemical imbalance angle with her (as did our therapist), but she just feels that she is not depressed on her own. She feels that it's "situational" and that if she...
Carla and Kitt: Well, I just read that it's easy to quit and more difficult to work things through, that's all. It's a moot point now, I suppose. She's currently sleeping in the mini van (her...
Kharma in a fortune cookie?? I took my family to a new Chinese restaurant near us today for lunch. My wife's fortune cookie said the following: "It does not take guts to quit" Wow, huh?...
Hi *Fairy Dust*, Welcome to Healing Well. You'll find many very caring individuals with a lot of supportive advice. Interestingly enough, I'm on the other side of your situation, so I thought I'd...
Kitt, Yes, it does have some great info. I still haven't gone through the entire thing, but I'm going to do that right now. Thanks, Rick......
Carla: You're not the first to suggest al-anon. I have thought about that and will look into it. I do know what you're saying about enabling her. I've thought long and hard about that. I'll admit...
Kitt: I truly don't think so. I can't know for sure, but I don't think so. Here's something I'd like to throw out there to everyone and see what your thoughts are: I was talking to a close friend and...
Her Answer: She says she'll be out September 1. She's going to make this ugly, I can tell just from the look of contempt for me she has on her face. I'm not looking forward to this. Rick......
SnowyLynne: My wife does not trust anyone with her life. She used to trust me, but she's made a severe disconnect in her mind. That's the crux of the problem as far as I'm concerned. Kitt: She's had...
Thanks Shy. I am looking into that. I do check in with the kids a lot and I have simply explained that there's a lot of stuff going on right now and I watch how they are. They have been troopers....
Hi Carla, Thanks for your comments. I do love her very much. It's feeling like a curse right about now. ;-) I will say that she's not ignoring the baby when the baby is around her or asks for...
manyembers: I'm the same way you are. Even if I have to rip myself down to nothing, I'm always wanting to make things better for myself and those around me. My wife is NOT the same as we are. She's...
Kitt, I believe that you are correct. She is depressed and will not admit it. According to her, she's depressed because of this living environment. You'll all have to trust me that this is a loving...
manyembers: Out of curiosity, what was it that finally woke you up and gave you the right perspective? I agree with you that this is a very supportive place. It helps me tremendously. Thank you for...
manyembers: WOW. You make some very keen observations. Your story sounds VERY much like how she is with me. She moves close and then has to ruin things with her words to move away, only to move...
Red09: Thanks, I appreciate your feedback. I really wish that she'd seek out some sort of support. I've suggested other web sites, but she is more of a private person (even though I've told her that...
Thanks Teresa. It's just very difficult to deal with it from this side when she doesn't even admit that she's got a depression. Well, she admits it, but believes that it's "situational", meaning that...
Hey WCC, I'm sending good thoughts for your trip. You're a good person for him. He may or may not know that right now, but he will someday if he doesn't. You're doing your research and making sure...
Thanks WCC! Things were poor yesterday, but by last night they were good. Today wasn't bad, so we'll see. You know, it's hard to type with your fingers crossed... ;-)...
No problem Elisha. Thanks for the explanation! Singer69...
Mini-Update: I spoke to a marriage counselor today and he told me that the therapist that my wife and I have been going to is dead wrong for us. The therapist is the type that empowers people (not...
Hey WCC: GREAT question! I'm curious as well. It seems (from the others on this and other boards who are going through a similar situation as us) as if it's a compulsion to throw the significant...
My wife tried it and really changed - not for the better in my opinion. I have read many people's stories of success, but I've also heard about bad reactions such as my wife's. Now, she didn't feel...
Kitt: You make very, very good points. Some that she has made as well (i.e., "If this is so horrible, just let me go!!"). No disrespect taken, believe me. I totally know that you care. I'm just...
Wifeofdepression, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, too. I'm surprised to hear that you'd be required to provide alimony when (as you said) you can't afford to support yourself and your kids...
WCC, Thank you very much for your words. I do appreciate it. I'm also very sorry that you are going through this with your boyfriend. Being long-distance must be very difficult. I hope that he can...