Hey, GBPackersFan...first...let me say that I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis...however, let me follow that by telling you that your life is certainly not over.
I am 44 and have had Rheumatoid Arthritis since I was two; initially I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis...when I was sixteen, I remember a podiatrist communicating to my mother that I would be in a wheelchair by the time I was 35...while I have had several surgeries and do have some deformed joints, I am nowhere near a wheelchair...so do not let your imagination scare the hell out of you..
Methods of coping, pain management and dealing with the disease in general is different for everyone and what works for one will not work for another...I would encourage you to find a pain management physician, if your insurance allows and you have the means...managing pain, especially from a chronic condition, is a specialty in and of itself...a pain management physician may have ideas that a rheumatologist will not...
As BadDay mentioned, there are biologics (drugs) that may prevent or slow down the disease as well as joint deformity; typically anti-TNF (tumor necrosis factor) or IL-6 cytokine targeting...typically, those are standard fare these days and are used in conjunction with DMARDS (Disease Modifying Anti Rheumatic Drug); I am currently on Arava 20mg (Leflunomide)...i have been through a few anti-TNFs and will now be trying my first IL-6 cytokine biologic...methotrexate is a common drug and Prednisone can be effective...albeit, there are several side effects to each of these drugs so you will have to see what works for you..
Hydrotherapy can be useful as well as the paraffin treatments for the hands that was mentioned above; when I was a child, I experienced the paraffin treatments quite a bit.
For me, honestly, managing my thought process has been key...as in, fighting the disease and doing my best not to let it define who I am or my life...I am quite stubborn to begin with so that definitely comes in handy...i do not do well around people who bemoan every ache and pain and who complain daily; so I do my best to surround myself with positive people...
For me, staying active has been key...my last rheumatologist said that, on paper, I should not be as active as I am...she also said that my staying active has most likely prevented me from being in a wheelchair...currently, I work out with strength-training and cardio at least four days per week...some years, i add in swimming, rollerblading, biking or mud runs (my latest interest..LOL!)...it is not always easy and pain-free...but the benefits far outweigh the discomfort...I also was able to become a certified personal trainer in 2009; I work with people like you and I - people with chronic conditions who absolutely need to work out and might be a bit hesitant...
For breakthrough pain or during a flare, I always have Oxycodone 15mg with me...it is the difference between lying on the sofa and being able to be active a lot of days.
I also take Omega 3, biotin, Vitamin B12, C, D2, E, potassium and iron.
I hope that helps...good luck and please do keep us posted!