I would agree that checking for proper ergonomics at work would be worthwhile. I have the same trouble, and I sympathize with the pain and the daily aggravation and limitation it presents. I just went to a movie in a theater last week - which I haven't been able to do in nearly 3 years. The pain and discomfort of sitting for that long was too much. And standing for any extended period of time can be torture after about
10-15 min.
I have, however, found improvement - quite a bit, actually, and have had a period of several months of reduced pain....hence the movie theater. I have been working w/ an excellent neuromuscular massage therapist for a year. She has been able to identify some mechanical features of my muscles and spine and work on those very gradually but consistantly. It doesn't solve every little thing, of course - but the improvement is huge in the realm of everyday quality of life. She's taught me that small incremental changes are more beneficial in the long run. But I know I'm fortunate - it took me awhile to find her, and I don't think there are many with her skill set.
I'm older than you are and don't have little ones at home to care for, nor am I working full time. So I really feel for you. The Spine Center/Pain Clinic doctor advised me that rest periods are crucial. We tend to want to just keep going and get *whatever* done, so then we can rest - when actually, we'd feel better if we did a little, rested, did a little more, rested, etc. It also sounds like you might need some ongoing medication for inflammation control, rather than just hitting it in flare. Just my opinion, as of course, all this is.
When there is inflammation, there are often underlying mechanical issues that can perpeturate problems....like leg length discrepancy as one example. Have those kinds of things been ruled out with you? Lastly, I also found out I have celiac disease 2 yrs ago and have been on a gluten free diet since then. I have a hunch that this has helped lower my inflammation overall, and has also contributed to the reduction in pain. I have also heard that a diet very low in or without carbohydrates is important with Ankylosing Spondylitis.
Sorry you're having such a time. I know how bad it can be. Hope you feel better soon.